#hes so problematic

WHY SYLVESTER BLANC IS PROBLEMATIC

- Spends more time with Pigeons than people

- Sobs at computer if it doesn’t work

- Inhales the perfume

- Makes others inhale the perfume

- Ten percent luck, twenty percent bribery, fifteen percent screaming, five percent winging it, fifty percent running from pissed off people, a hundred percent asshole

- Disguises self to sell perfumes outside of target in the parking lot

- Threatens to sue target when they kick him off the property

- Promotes self EVERYWHERE

- Buys 50% of clothes off of ebay or thrift stores

- Dresses like your grandma

- Wears a fanny pack????

- Has a tunnel under his hOUSE THAT HE DOES NOT CLEAN

- Doesn’t clean at all tbh; his cousin does

- Who let this man be in charge of his 12 yr old cousin anyway?

- Dad to all cats

- Wakes up @ 2 am for a cappuccino; texts friends if there is no cappuccino

- Croissants at least once a day like what the fuck there are other b reads

- Taunts too many other villains, forgetting that many of them know basic french

- Is then reminded that the know basic french in a very rude manner