Hello, I have a question about how being a both nun or religious sister works if you don't mind indulging me.
How does your community handle the social needs of their sisters and nuns? I understand part of being a nun means separating yourself from the outside world to a degree, but I have a hard time understanding how that doesn't lead to isolation/depression/abuse etc, or how those things are prevented and addressed.
I apologize if this comes off as rude or accusatory, I don't intend it that way. I grew up in a protestant and abusive church so for me the concept of isolation raises red flags, and I don't have the best understanding of how these sorts of catholic communities tend to function. But I'm trying to learn more about various forms of Christianity to figure out what I do/don't believe and this is one question I haven't been able to find a clear answer on.
Thank you for your time! I enjoy your blog and I hope you have a lovely day ♥️
Hello tea-magic-lesbian,
It's not a rude question. It's fair. I do want to point out that I am an active religious (or I will be once my novitiate ends.) Active religious communities are as varied as there are people so I can only speak for my own community. There is a spectrum between more contemplative communities and more active communities. More contemplative communities tend to have more silent hours during the day while some more free-active communities have less silence.
Cloistered nuns and monks in monasteries have recreation time at least once a day. The nearby nuns to me have recreation (talking) three times a day for an hour each. They also do speak when necessary ie. when gardening and needing help finding a shovel.
Spiritual abuse and physical abuse do happen but there are a lot of safeguards. Every community is subject to a bishop. There are also canon laws that must be followed. Every community elects a leader (mother superior, guardian, whatever the title may be) but that leader needs a council. Smaller communities can get away with one other council member. Larger communities usually have between three and ten members of the council. If there is an issue, there is normally a council member to speak to as your representative. You are also allowed to contact your local bishop if you suspect or are experiencing spiritual abuse.
The thing with these cloistered nuns is that there are people coming in and out of their monastery. There are plenty of opportunities to ask for help. The doors lock from the inside. Any nun is able to leave at any time before taking final vows. For a cloistered nun (so not like me) they are required to take up to nine years of temporary vows (one year long vows). There is a lot of opportunity to leave before even taking vows at all. One's novitiate takes a minimum of one year and that does not take into account postulancy or candidacy.
As a teenager, I met with a group of cloistered nuns (behind a grille of course). When asked about leaving for doctor's appointments they all said, "It's such a hassle to not be at home. Every time I leave the cloister, I want to come right back in."
It's definitely a calling. Only certain people can do it. That's why I'm in an active community where we talk often. There are silent hours on special holy days or during Lent. But it's not as intense as the cloistered life would be. Some communities have phones, internet, etc. It's not all enclosed all the time.
picture of a grille below:
