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@hepromises liked for a starter
Chrissy nearly bumped into the dark haired boy walking out of the ladies restroom. "Oh, i'm sorry" She handed him back the book that dropped in front of her. "Here." She smiled at him. "Looks like a good book."
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@hepromises asked: El! This not okay. You're not okay!
I want to say he’s wrong. I want to tell him I am fine. That I can do this. That I always do this. I ALWAYS come through in the end. Everyone is counting on me.
But my head is buzzing, my nose is warm and wet, and my legs feel like they don’t belong to me anymore. Everything is becoming heavier. Even my eyes.
When he says my name like that, like he’s scared, it makes something crack in my chest. I know it’s not okay. I know I’m not fine. But if I stop, people get hurt. If I stop, the bad people win. That’s how it’s always been. I didn’t get to be tired in the lab. I don’t get to be tired now.
So I look at him and I try to be brave, even though my hands are shaking. “But I have to,” I finally say. "I don’t want to be the monster or the weapon anymore." I have done enough. I've done everything but finish it. I stand up, even though everything in me is screaming to lie down. And I hope, just a little, that when this is over, we can finally rest.
#HePromises (at Columbia , South Carolina)
