#henchchat

@cloverlady:

@villainpapyrus

(also @devilzknife i hope you’re not dissapointed in me)

I’ve never really cared about void science. Never talked about ’em much. But then, last week, the strangest thing happened. 

Now, I don’t know if you’ve been following the blog, but I’ve been keeping my ears open and it seems like every asker everywhere is super-scared about everything all the time. I try to stay a little optimistic, even though I will admit, things are getting pretty sticky. 

It’s like there’s a skeleton loose in a void. 

I think eventually everything’s going to be okay, but I have no idea what’s going to happen next. And neither do any of you, and neither do the theorists, because there’s a SKELETON loose in the VOID. It’s never happened before, no one knows what the Ultimate Villiain is going to do next, least of all the Ultimate Villiain. He’s never been a void god before, he’s as confused as you are. 

There’s no experts. They try to find experts in the chat. They’re like, “We’re joined now by a man that once saw a benadryl in the orange juice.” Get out of here with that shit! We’ve all seen a benadryl in the orange juice. This is a SKELETON loose in THE VOID. 

When a skeleton is loose in a void, you got to stay updated. So all day long you scroll about, “What’d the skeleton do?” 

The blog/chat updates, they’re not always bad. Sometimes they’re just odd. It’ll be like, “The Ultimate Villian removed the personification of his emotions? I didn’t know he knew how to do that.”

The creepiest days are when you don’t hear from the skeleton at all. You’re down in the Henchchat like, “Hey, has anyone…” *looks around* “Has anyone heard–” 

Those are those quiet days when people are like, “It looks like the Ultimate Villian has finally calmed down.” And then ten seconds later the skeleton is like, “I’M GONNA STARVE HT PAPYRUS AND SET HIM LOOSE ON THE MULTIVERSE. I’VE GOT INFINATE POWER AND DADDY ISSUES, I’M A SKELETON!” That’s what I thought you’d say, you dumb fucking void god.

And then… Then… Then you go to discord chat with people and they’re like, “There shouldn’t be a skeleton in the void.” And it’s like, “We’re well past that.” 

Then other people are like, “If there’s gonna be a skeleton in the void, I’m going to choke this thriller” And those don’t match up at all. 

And then, for a second, it seemed like maybe we could survive the void god, and then, 5,000 miles away, a Sans was like, “i have emotional baggage and i’m gonna make you feel emotions!” And before we could say anything, the horse was like, 

“IF YOU EVEN FUCKING LOOK AT MY INSECURITIES I WILL STOMP YOU TO DEATH WITH MY BOOTS. I DARE YOU TO DO IT. I WANT YOU TO DO IT. I WANT YOU TO DO IT SO I CAN STOMP YOU TO NON-EXSISTANCE WITH MY BOOT, I’M SO FUCKING CRAZY.” 

“you think you’re fucking crazy, i’m a fucking sans. i live in a fucking garbage dump. i’m fucking crazy.” And all of us are like, 

“Okay.” Like poor Andy Cohen at those goddamn reunions. “Okay.” 

And then, for a second, we were like, “Maybe the Sans will help out the Ultimate Villain.” And then the skeleton is like, 

“I HAVE ERASED THE SANS.” 

He can do that? 

That shouldn’t be allowed no matter who the skeleton is.

The Theorist: Takes everything a little too seriously, thinks really deep about what will happen next, talks in full sentences. Does not fuck around when it comes to character's mental health.

The Intellectuals: One step down from The Theorist. Quote in-game dialogue all the time, Talk unintelligibly because they type too fast for their brain, scream a lot more the The Theorists. Probably eating cold cheese shreds at 3:00. 

The Clueless: Asks far to many questions, forget about character’s mental health all the time, think they can appeal to Flowey’s ‘sensitive side’ by bringing up Chara. Just spam “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA” in the chat.

The Filthy Casuals: Miss everything, come back with starbucks to a room on fire. “Hey what the fuck did i miss”

The Protective Mom: *Anything Happens* “Omg Papyrus is going to murder someone” (Yes they still exist) Need to remind him not to murder constantly as if Pap doesn’t know. Tries to get Sans to tell Papyrus what to do. Probably wears three fit bits. 

The One With The Anime Icon: “OwO”. Filthy memers. end up spamming about LAMPS in the chat. Always call Banjo “Banjowo”. Probably eats ramen raw. 

The Sweethearts: At this point have adopted everyone in the server, give Papyrus digital cookies, constantly repeats how everything is going to be alright, offers to hug but won’t if it makes Pap uncomfortable.

The Og’s: Were there since the original VP server. Remember the Salad massacre, has to remind people about past things that happened. “Why am I still here? Oh yeah Banjo’s the best.” 

The Novel Gang: “I wonder what Novel is doing right now”

The Bitch: Yells at everyone on the blog, doesn’t matter who, thinks it’s cool to lower Sans and Papyrus’ self esteem by “calling them out”. Probably a Flowey fan. Try to get Papyrus to murder. 

The Henchchat 1.0 is wild man.