#hell idk

Idea by @iposttheworld and @langstwhynot / @lost-above-ground helped a little :) (not shance guys it's completely platonic)

I had figured out a secret.

It started before we left Arus. I felt sad for no reason. I was on an alien planet with a giant mechanical blue lion! And had my two best friends plus my mentor with me! My hero! I should’ve been an ecstatic, bouncing, overjoyed idiot.

Why wasn’t I?

I had been confused and panicked when the cryopod shut on me. Coran’s bootcamp rambles didn’t help anything. But later I realized it wasn’t all panic. I had felt something I hadn’t felt since Shiro arrived on Earth.

I felt peaceful.

For the moment before the frost crept into my head and froze my thoughts, I felt good. I felt like I could relax.

A few days later I snuck into the cryopod room. I saw the controls and my spirits fell when I saw them in Altean. Did I really want to learn a language just to use these things? It wasn’t worth my time. I shouldn’t use them for anything besides healing, right? Who knows what crazy side affects they had on humans.

But I didn’t entirely forget the idea.

A few missions and mishaps later, Allura decided to program the pods to have an English option, in case Coran or herself was incapacitated and needed a pod. Or if we had to use a pod and neither of them were handy.

The thought of using them called louder. I did everything I could to forget about it. I trained, I laughed and ate and joked and goofed off with everyone else.

I had even tried to cut myself once. That’s what depressed people did right? It wasn’t a good idea. And it didn’t bring the peace or relief I had hoped it would. Just an angry red cut on my arm.

After we got split up in the corrupted wormhole, I was more desperate for an escape.

The cryopods twinkled innocently in the soft blue lighting. Their call was impossible to ignore. I locked the doors to the room and got into a pod suit. I didn’t know if that was necessary, but I didn’t want to step out of it with my only Earth clothes fused to my body. I looked at the controls and set it to the second lowest it could go. I put in my preset measurements from the last time I was in the pod, and, with a jitter of nerves, stepped in.

The glass appeared and frost lightly graced the surface of it. I exhaled, watching my breath crystalize in front of me. The pod chilled me to my bones, freezing my thoughts and clearing my head. I began to drift, not awake but not asleep. Not empty but not full. Just peaceful and still.

Eventually, the frost cleared, and the glass disappeared. I stumbled out, leaning against the wall. It took a moment for my head to clear. I shook it, then blearily looked at the pod. An hour. It felt like ten minutes.

I slowly changed into regular clothes and put the pod suit in the laundry. Back in my room, I lay down on my bed, still sleepy and relaxed from the pod. Within moments, I was asleep, more peacefully and easily than I had in weeks.

I went back into the pod the next day. And the next. And the next. The time in the pod got larger and larger. Sometimes, when I was feeling risky, I put the settings just barely higher and passed out entirely. Landing on the floor jolted me awake pretty fast, but the feeling of cool peace in my bones didn’t vanish.

At first, there were no cons. Good sleep, time to myself, not feeling like I had done something awful and had yet to live up to it. Yet, as time went on, I felt cold even outside of the pod. The cold didn’t leave but the peace it brought did. At random times some of my muscles or joints would freeze up, so cold it burnt.

But I couldn’t stop. I was desperate for those few hours of peace a night.

Weeks passed. My skin was paler than it had been when we started this crazy adventure. Some days, in the right lighting, it looked like frost had webbed under my skin. But, just as soon as I noticed it, it vanished again.

I just kept up my rituals. Play Lance during the day and get in the pod for three hours at night.

I quickly and deftly changed into the suit and clamored into the pod I used every time. A nagging feeling pressed in the back of my mind, but it was too late. The glass appeared, frost gathering more rapidly than it has before. For a moment, I panicked, but the cool bliss nothing did its job and froze the anxiety before it could control me. I fell into my state of almost awake but not asleep. Half dreams floated around me, close, but never touching. Shiro, Hunk, Allura, and Zarkon. Their faces floated around, trying to touch, to speak, but I couldn’t hear them, I couldn’t hear myself. I felt nothing but the chilling silence of the cryopod.

Something banged against the glass. I couldn’t tell them to go away, I couldn’t move, I just vaguely wondered what it was. I forced my eyes to partially open. The glass was covers in a thick coat of crystalline fractures, blurred and fuzzy in my tired eyes. A silhouette was outlined behind it. It drew back an arm and pounded again, the dull sound dying just after it found my ears.

My eyes drifted shut again, and I let myself fall into the cool embrace of the pod.

It seemed only moments later I was warming, my limbs still heavy with cold, head foggy.

Someone held me. That wasn’t right. I was usually alone. The contact wasn’t unwelcomed though. They were warm, almost hot. I shook, realizing just how cold I was. I felt floaty but bogged down and shivery at the same time.

“…hear me? Lance?” They asked.

I moaned, trying to move. My body wouldn’t listen. I was dead in the water. I shuddered again, wishing I could snuggle up in bed and pass out.

“Lance? Come on, warm up.” He said. It was definitely a guy. Who? I wasn’t sure. He pulled me closer, rubbing my unresponsive arms.

I groaned, now warm and awake enough to open my eyes. I cracked them open, and Shiro’s face greeted me.

“Hey, bud.” Relief wasn’t concealed very well. “How about we sit you up?” He asked kindly. I felt myself nod. He pulled me upright, wrapping a thick, warm blanket around my shoulders. I leaned against his side, and he had an arm around me, rubbing my arm.

I shivered, the cold leaving my skin and seeping into my bones alone. Within a few minutes, I was awake enough to talk. Sort of.

“Th- th- thanks.” I said, teeth chattering.

“Yeah.” He said, speaking quietly. “Lance,” He started, tone imploring.

“P- p- please, c-can we n-not?” I asked, exhausted.

“I really think we should.” Shiro said. “How long have you been doing this?”

It was hard to think. How long had it been? “S-since t-the wormhole a-a-accident, w-w-with H-Hagar.” I managed, then shivered violently again, almost convulsing at this point.

Shiro didn’t say anything. He just held me closer, trying to lend me the body heat. I leaned closer involuntarily, craving the warmth he provided. My joints ached, slowly getting used to being warm again.

“Come on. Let’s get you to bed.” He said, scooping me up, blanket and all.

I couldn’t protest. The rhythmic sway of his footfalls called me to sleep, the even, slight swing and dip as he walked soothed me, the warmth of him against my too cold skin making me drowsier.

I started to drift, falling under the spell of sleep. I turned closer to Shiro, trying to soak up all of the warmth that I couldn’t seem to produce myself.

I had almost fallen asleep when he put my to bed, piling more blankets on top of the oddly heavy, thin Altean blanket I usually slept with. I asked him to stay. I didn’t want to be alone and cold anymore.

He turned off the light and got under the covers next to me, wrapping his arms around me. I sighed, leaning into how warm he was.

I fell sleep, soaking up his warmth. “Night, Dad.” I sighed.

Hardly awake, I felt Shiro freeze. Then he said, “Night, kiddo.” And fell into a steady breathing pattern.