Stress can be a major factor in keeping us frozen even if we have all the external support that we need.

Girls and intelligent women make their own decisions, have their own desires and set boundaries. You will never be the center of her life because she revolves around them. An intelligent woman will not allow you to manipulate or blackmail her. She is responsible for her actions.

Intelligent girls doubt, analyze, debate, displease, progress. These women had a life before you appeared in their lives, and will continue to have it even when you leave their lives. Such women report, do not ask permission. They are not looking for a leader to follow, a father who solved their life, or a child to save themselves by guiding them. They do not want to follow you, nor are they willing to show the right way to others.

Intelligent girls know that living without violence is a right, not a luxury or a privilege. They express nervousness, sadness, pleasure and fear in the same way, because they know that fear does not make them look weak, nor does nervousness make them look "masculine". These two emotions, but also the others, all together, make it look humane and that's enough.

An intelligent woman is free because she has fought for her freedom. But she is not a victim, she is a survivor. Do not try to limit her, because she will know how to escape. An intelligent woman knows that her value does not lie in the physical aspect. Think twice before judging her age, height, weight or sexual behavior because this is emotional violence and she understands it.

So before you say you want an "intelligent woman" in your life, ask yourself if you are really ready to be a part of her life.

Taking it slow is new to me. So is a healthy partnership. I just had an insightful, helpful therapy session. I told my therapist about RLS and about my jealous feelings and the concerns I have about him. I told her about my thoughts on monogamy vs monogamish, and it just reminded me of all the reasons why I’d want to be monogamish:

- so I can keep my freedom and independence - I can explore other people and not feel guilty about it - it’ll help me control my dependency on one partner: sexually, emotionally, and mentally - it’ll allow me to focus on my priorities She reminded me that 2017 is all about becoming a healthier self and work on healthier patterns. And that this - love and relationships - is the last piece of becoming my healthier self. This is a good way to show me what a healthy relationship looks like, and it’ll challenge me and help me grow. So far, it has been helping me realize and break negative patterns and work on healthier patterns. Even though it is a bit discomforting knowing that RLS has close female friends that he has hooked up, not knowing what he’s up to on the day we don’t hang out or talk, etc., I now will keep in mind that this is teaching me to practice healthy habits and patterns. Instead of thinking/worrying about what he’s doing, I will shift my thoughts to remind myself that this is all a learning lesson and it’s helping me becoming a healthier person. A healthy woman for a healthy partnership.

What we talked about reminds me of this phrase I found from a blog about mindfulness: