#healingyourshadowself

Green calcite for my heart. I feel like I have done so. much. work. in the shadows dealing with Nick’s death and our relationship as it is now. We are definitely connected through the veil. He speaks to me regularly, especially through music, which was always our common ground. It is just tough. We were estranged when he died, so to feel him close now, to dream about the Nick that was/ is my soul…

Metatron Spread, Starchild Tarot, March 3, 2019

My goodness it has been a very long time since I have been able to write to you all dear ones! I am in the middle of my school semester, just finished my Public Health Nursing course yesterday and have just a moment to take a breath before I start Workplace Diversity…

I have been spending perhaps too much time in the shadows as of late. The weather, coupled with the recent death of my ex-husband,…

January 19, 2019, “What do I need to see today?” Reversed Ten of Shells, Pelican

I haven’t written in a couple of days because of my responsibilities to my children in the mornings. I have also been a bit carried away by my responsibility to school. I keep reassuring myself that I am nearly finished, I will be graduating at the end of fall semester this year. I am ready to be done. To have my time and my life back. It has been a long haul. I had some interesting experiences…

January 15, 2019, “How do I better navigate this murky aftermath of conflict energy, this negative addict-brain swirl?”

Man it is a rough spot since I was getting ready to leave work yesterday night. I have seemingly firmly landed in a space where I feel shaky and unsure. As if I am not on solid ground. It started when I realized I was on call today. It was on my calendar, but somehow I skimmed right over it. I am also on call Saturday and next Monday. Call is an interesting beast. It is mastering a state of mind…

January 13, 2019, “What can I do about my anxiety today?”

I am experiencing a morning where I am waking up spun. I think I slept well. The littlest little stayed with his dad last night because of the snowstorm. It was  his idea to keep him another night and for us to stay off the roads. I had to think about it for a few hours before I agreed. I got so much done yesterday, with school and home, you would think I would feel good- relief. But instead I…

“How is it today?” January 12, 2019= Reversed Seven of Feathers, Cheetah

It feels so strange to type 2019. My world has changed so much in the past handful of years, the past handful of months. Truly. My heart is finally starting to understand the expanse of the grief that I need to have space to experience related to Nick’s death. I have never felt more of a need to focus on myself, my children, my home.

The question that revealed itself to me today is “How is it…

January 9, 2019= Queen of Crystals, Hedgehog

“What does my focus need to be today?” Queen of Crystals, Hedgehog, comfort and prosperity. This card is here to remind me to nurture my connection to Mother Earth today. Stay focused on practicality and protecting myself and my family from negativity.

Queen of Crystals corresponds with Queen of Pentacles in the Rider-Waite deck. Traditionally, Queen of Pentacles strongly represents the female…

January 8, 2019 and a compromise with Reversed Crane as my daily totem

This morning I am conducting my morning tarot/ blog ritual from the comfort of my bedroom. My now-oldest son, Pierce, and I have been at odds regarding my outward display of spirituality in the main part of our home. Before this morning I have been completing my morning tarot/blog ritual from the dining room table. This has been extremely offensive to his 15 year old senses and we have been in…