#heali

Involuntarily he turned his head towards the distant bench. He passed by it every day. Its appearance was not encouraging. He had no doubt that there might have been more than one splinter hidden there. The paint was a nasty, dark yellow color. It was peeling off in patches. Plus a sick tree that is constantly shedding its leaves and flocks of ravens. Nobody wanted to sit in such a setting. Otherwise, the area was deserted. The former apartment blocks were demolished. Now there were only warehouses and an old skate park. Boards and roller skates took over this area a long time ago. That's what Joe told him once.

That's why he was so surprised by the girl reading the book. He hadn't seen a single person in this place since he came to town. He felt intrigued.

This did not escape Reki's attention.

— I see how things are going — he said with the air of an expert. — A girl caught your eye.

— Not at all! — Ranga turned his head. — I don't even know her.

He grabbed the skateboard and went back to training. He hoped that this would distract his friend from the topic. He felt heat on his face. He had been blushing since childhood. Some people thought it was cute but he didn't like how much his own body could betray him.

— I can tell — Kyan teased. — Her name is [Reader]-san. She comes here sometimes. She always sits in the same place and has a book with her. I'm not surprised you haven't seen her yet. The last time she was here was before you arrived. — He put his arm around him. — I got to know her but whenever I wanted to talk longer, she said she had to go...

Ranga knew how pushy the boy could be. His stubbornness exceeded healthy limits.

— How many times have you tried?

— Six or so. — He scratched his head.

— No wonder she hasn't been here for almost two months. — Hasegawa laughed.

It was a mistake. A familiar smile appeared on Reki's face. It portended trouble.

— Today will be the seventh. Lucky numbers don't lie. And besides, we'll go there together.

His friend tightened his grip around his neck. Thus he forced him to follow him. Protests and begging were in vain. He didn't manage to break free.

— Hi!

At the sound of a familiar voice, [Reader] closed her book.

— Hi! — she replied not very enthusiastically.

— Long time no see. I came to introduce you to my new friend. He recently moved here. [Reader]-san, this is Hasegawa Ranga. Hasegawa-kun, this is [Reader].

The boy bowed. He felt embarrassed. They interrupted the girl while reading. She didn't seem annoyed but she was definitely confused. Probably like him, she didn't like meeting new people.

— I read 'The North Wind,' too — he said, wanting to break the silence. — I liked the way it dealt with difficult topics. I didn't expect the ending at all.

The blue cover was eye-catching. He recognized it immediately.

— It's quite a niche title. — She looked at him with surprise.

— I'm from Canada.

The author of the book also came from there. She set the action in his native country. Accordingly, sales in the Maple Leaf Country were phenomenal.

He bought the book a few months ago. He didn't like this kind of entertainment but he needed something to occupy his mind. After the loss of his father, he sometimes wandered aimlessly around the house. He couldn't sit still. He didn't want his mother to worry, so he decided to try his hand at reading. He didn't read the pages at an alarming rate but the plot really captivated him. He didn't expect the secrets hidden by the main character at all and that was what fascinated him the most.

— Damn, Shadow's here. We should get going. — Kyan seemed really disappointed.

Apparently, he has already realized that another chance to deepen this acquaintance is gone.

There was another race that night. Higa promised to take them with him. They had to beg him to let them sit in his car at all. He cared for it more than he cared for his skateboard, even though it was a piece of junk. Strange sounds were coming from it, indicating that it was high time to visit a mechanic. Once it didn't even want to start. They almost missed S. They once tried to open a bag of chips quietly in the backseat. Hiromi went crazy and told them to vacuum up every last crumb. They wasted the entire afternoon.

— [Reader]-san, you should come over sometime to see how we skate.

— Guys, how long do I have to wait for you? — There was impatience in the driver's voice.

Reki moved ahead, trying to calm Shadow down.

— I'm sorry if we intruded — the words came out of Langa's mouth — and for my friend. Sometimes he can be pushy but he wants the best.

— Did you really think so? — She blinked in disbelief. — That I don't want to talk to you?

Now he really felt stupid. He assumed that was the case. He basically had nothing to prove it. It just seemed the most logical thing to do. Especially after what he heard earlier. After all, six times is enough to make it clear that you don't want to see someone.

— I know it looks weird but something really bothered me every time I tried to talk to Kyan-kun. I can't really explain it but I hope he doesn't mind...

— Of course not. — He tried to save the situation. — He'd be very happy if you came to the skate park.

— It's just that... ummm... He really likes to skate and I... I can't. Actually, I really don't like skateboards… — She looked at the ground.

— We can teach you. And even if not, just come and read on the bench next to it. We have better light than under this tree. — He smiled encouragingly.

Suddenly, a loud honk sounded in their ears.

— Are you coming with us or are you going alone?! — my friend shouted.

— I'm coming! — he shouted back. — I should get going. It was nice to meet you. — He turned to leave.

As he took a step, a silent question stopped him:

— Hasegawa-kun, do you love skateboarding?

He turned towards her and nodded.

— Why? — She clutched the book tightly.

The boy thought of that strange, mysterious feeling he felt every time he started skateboarding. He couldn't describe it in words. It wasn't just a wooden board with wheels. It was about something more.

— I was a bit like the heroine of North Wind... Lonely and lost. I thought the best was far behind me... but skateboarding showed me that wasn't true. It pulled me out of a black hole when I thought there was nothing for me. It rescued me. It gave me a friend, good memories and a new purpose. It's more than I could ever want.

Another loud honk from Higa's car signaled that he was pushing it.

— See you! — he said and ran towards the car.

He didn't see it but the girl stared at the skate park for a long time after he left.

***

Reki was very surprised to see [Reader] on a bench by the skatepark.

— Have you come to see how we fly? — he asked enthusiastically.

— Hasegawa-kun said there's better light for reading here. I came by to see if it was true. — She looked away.

Something slightly stung him. He knew this feeling. It was jealousy. Faint and inconspicuous but still. Deep down he told himself that he had a right. He tried to contact the girl many times. He invited her several times but she never came. And now all Ranga had to do was show up and it was a success. As if that wasn't enough, he was surpassing him in his favourite discipline. Just two months ago he was a novice. A total rookie. He couldn't even keep his balance on the board. Kyan became the teacher of a helpless friend. But now the student has surpassed the master. There was nothing new left for him to show him.

— We're going to practice. — Ranga smiled.

He did it naturally. As if he didn't have to think about this reaction at all.

— Look at us sometime! — Reki said.

His smile was different. Stuck to his face. Forced.

He began to wonder when they had switched roles. At what point did he stop being that fun guy, always ready to cheer someone up?

He gripped the board tightly, that worn-out piece of wood that had brought him so much joy. He installed special wheels himself. He looked at the surface covered with bright sprays. They recently renovated it together. A friend helped him choose colours and patterns. They spent a fun afternoon together in the garage.

He pushed hard with his left leg. He only knew one way to deal with problems — skating. His Grinds needed some refinement. He decided to focus on them but unwanted thoughts kept pushing into his head.

He didn't want to get angry at his friend. It would be rude to blame him for something he had no control over. Especially since he had been having fun with Hasegawa for a long time. They went to school together, spent time and talked about their common passion. In addition, they were connected by illegal racing. He couldn't remember the last time so many strange but good things had happened in his life.

Only recently had he been poisoned by thoughts of being inferior. He tried to explain to himself that it was only in this one aspect. After all, he couldn't beat someone's talent with hard work alone. No matter how hard he tried, it became clear that Hasegawa would be one step ahead of him in skateboarding.

But now it seemed like another thing he cared about was being taken away.

He quickly reprimanded himself for these words. Thinking about girls objectively was inappropriate. It made him feel even worse.

He tried to repeat Benihana again. Fingers slipped off the edge of the board. He desperately tried to make it but instead of a stable surface, his foot hit the air. It seemed to him that everything around him froze for a moment. It was as if time stopped for a split second. Immediately afterwards, he fell onto the hard concrete.

— Shit — he muttered quietly.

— Everything's all right? — Ranga shouted.

— I'ts cool!

[Reader] put her book down on the bench, took her bag and walked over to him.

— Does it hurt a lot? — She crouched down.

— It's nothing. A skater without bruises is like a soldier without a gun.

She snorted quietly, trying to hide it with her hand.

It wasn't the first or last time he hurt himself. Sports were associated with injuries. From an early age he was accustomed to scratches and wounds.

He twisted his head back with all his might, trying to see what condition his right arm was in. Some blood and dirt but otherwise everything seemed fine.

— I can patch it up if you want. — She grabbed her bag.

— Wouldn't you rather watch Hasegawa-kun skate? — The sarcastic comment left his mouth before he could stop himself.

[Reader] blinked a few times.

He felt stupid. What's been going on with him lately? He was fed up with himself.

— Sorry. Forget I said anything.

— That's okay. — She took out a bottle, gauze and a bandage.

— Do you have a whole first aid kit inside? — He looked at it all with wide eyes.

He sometimes saw girls carrying plasters with them. Usually in case your feet get chafed by high heels. He wondered why they were doing this to themselves. They might look nice but he wouldn't trade his comfortable, worn-out sneakers for high heels.

However, it was much more than the average contents of the bag.

— It's because... I'm clumsy. You know... I fall a lot and stuff like that — she said quietly.

— Is that why you wear long sleeves even in the summer?

He hadn't even realized he had noticed it before. He had looked in her direction far too often over the last few months.

— Yes but... never mind — she said.

[Reader] soaked the gauze. She gently grabbed his hand and began to wash the red spot.

— Ouch! — He got away.

— It must sting a little.

— It hurts. I thought you had Octenisept or something. Maybe we'll leave it as it is? — he suggested, feeling tears welling up in the corners of his eyes.

She looked at him scoldingly. He felt like a little child.

— Hydrogen peroxide is cheaper. Why spend money unnecessarily? — She shrugged. — Let me finish this, otherwise it will get infected.

So he endured the unpleasant feeling. He didn't hiss once. He didn't want to seem like a terrible wimp.

[Reader] handled the dressing efficiently. She must have had a lot of experience.

— I have to go back or I'll be late. — She looked nervously at her watch.

Kyan noticed that it looked quite old. The model was definitely from last decade. This intrigued him. Is she following some strange fashion? But he had never seen her dressed in anything particularly special before. She usually wore her school uniform or a comfortable sweatshirt and pants. So he concluded that the item probably had some sentimental value.

— About that question from earlier… — She hesitated, as if she wasn't entirely sure whether she should answer. — Hasegawa-kun skates well but I think you enjoy it more. I wanted to see if a board could actually bring joy to someone. When I look at you, I think it's really possible.

She left him with these words and a bandaged arm. From that moment until the evening, every trick was perfect.

***

— You should try it! — Reki insisted.

He still didn't really know how he should feel about his skateboarding. But that didn't mean he would stop encouraging others to try. Especially since [Reader] didn't seem like enough competition to undermine his self-esteem even more.

— I don't know...

The girl looked at the board uncertainly. She promised herself so many times that she would stay away from the hated sport. However, it found her, even though she wanted to hide from it all her life.

— I'll hold your hand the whole time if you're scared. — He grinned.

— Maybe it would be better — Hasegawa emphasized — if I held her hand. When I was learning, he also promised me that it would be safe. Guess what happened next...

— He let you go and you hit the ground?

— Exactly. — He looked reprimandingly at the teacher.

— I wouldn't let her go — Kyan said back. — Anyway it doesn't matter. I can always belay.

The mention of how he had helped  his friend's courage made him feel a little ashamed. He had various ideas came to him on the spur of the moment. It was true that he planned to make the student independent a little too quickly but he did not want to harm him. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. He never expected them to come back to this topic, especially now.

Ultimately, [Reader] was convinced. At first she wobbled slightly but it soon turned out that neither a hand nor securing the back was needed. She didn't fall even once. Ranga saw nothing strange about it. After all, despite his talent, he had only recently started working on the subject. Reki, however, was different.

— You've never skated before? — He asked.

The girl looked away and got off the board.

— Maybe a long time ago, when I was a child. I don't remember — she mumbled.

He felt that this was not the complete answer. Not entirely a lie but not honesty either. But who was he to demand the whole truth?

— I guess that's enough for today — he said, wanting to cut the topic short. — Beautiful girls shouldn't have sore muscles...

He felt like an idiot. He felt as if his brain had stopped working for a moment. Or worse yet, it disappeared. Such texts were served in films, not in real life. Even if he thought she was beautiful. What if she thinks he's being pushy? Or that he only sees beauty in her? And she won't want to come to the skate park anymore... How do you apologize for such things? Is it possible that he's about to have a heart attack?

He felt as if his thoughts were flying through his head at the speed of a speeding skateboard. He couldn't utter a single word. Now he was sure that he had switched roles with Hasegawa. After all, Reki always knew what to say. It doesn't matter if it was a teacher at school where he was driving illegally, or Adam during a race. And now he was stunned.

She blinked three times before realizing what he said. He knew because he counted. The moment seemed to drag on mercilessly.

— Nobody... has ever...

He wanted to sink into the ground. He even considered taking his skateboard and running off to the nearest street.

—...told me I looked beautiful. Thanks, Kyan-kun. — She smiled shyly.

The joy and relief after these words were comparable to winning in S.

***

Ranga passed red, orange and yellow trees planted along the sidewalk. The sun rose lazily in the cool, crisp air. The morning was going to be cold. Fortunately, he took his jacket from home. He looked to the side. Neighbours were cleaning their lawns. This reminded him that he had promised to help his mother when he returned home. Autumn in Japan looked beautiful but nothing will clean itself up. A few lone, dry leaves flew past his head.

He was driving to school, reading a book. On one hand, he was afraid of being fined but on the other, he got so into it that he couldn't stop. He hoped he would be able to finish the chapter in class. The teacher was slow. Maybe if he hides the novel behind the cover of a textbook, he will somehow succeed. [Reader] gave him this advice. After all, it was thanks to her that he found pleasure in his new activity. He wanted to go out with her sometime in the afternoon. However, he was aware that it would be a good idea to invite Reki. The three of them usually spent time together and it became so common that they almost never saw each other in a different lineup. Lately, he's been having thoughts about what it would be like to see a girl alone. Would it be like betraying a friend? He wasn't blind enough to not see the interest Kyan was showing in her. There was something in the air. But why would he give up a potential opportunity? In the end, no official statement was made from either side. [Reader] might as well not have been interested in his friend in that way.

He yawned. At Japanese lesson, he will definitely be a zombie. He just hoped he wouldn't fall asleep. Yesterday he helped prepare a birthday present until late.

He found a dedication in the book he borrowed from the girl. The date made it clear that the holiday was today. They didn't have much time. So he and a friend rolled up their sleeves and decided to make a skateboard for her. She didn't want to buy her own because she said it was a waste of money. Borrowing wasn't an ideal solution either because someone always had to sit. They needed something more to ride as a three. So Reki put all his technical know-how together and happily began assembling the pieces he ordered online and purchased from Dope Sketch. They begged Oke-san for a discount. He gave it, although with a heavy heart. Hasegawa couldn't help with the building, so he started decorating. He designed a pattern on a piece of paper and then sprays and stickers were used. He even managed to find a few themes related to the books she told him about. He hoped it would make her feel more like the board belonged to her. After all, individualism was an important part of skateboarding.

Finally, they found an unused box in the garage and put the work inside. By the time they wrapped it in paper, it was already three a.m. Ranga had to be saved by coffee in partnership with an energy drink in the morning but he did not regret it. He hoped that the work would pay off and he would soon see a happy birthday girl.

***

Hasegawa had the gift under his arm and wondered if he looked weird skating with it. Mainly because people looked at him with interest. However, it was more likely that it was his unusual beauty that attracted attention. He was often mistaken for a tourist. It was also often assumed that he could not speak Japanese.

His friend was whizzing past him. He performed tricks every now and then. He wasn't surprised. The ride itself got boring quite quickly. Plus, Kyan was bursting with energy. He could see how much he was looking forward to the surprise reveal. He was also overexcited. Unfortunately, instead of handing over the package, they wandered around an unknown area.

[Reader] wrote that she wouldn't be able to come to the skate park today. So they decided to come to her house. Only then did they realize that they didn't know the exact address. The girl didn't reply to any messages, so they took matters into their own hands (or rather, feet). They headed towards the housing estate she had once mentioned. They asked people in the area, hoping someone would point them to a suitable apartment.

The milkman brought them happiness. The old man had the best years of his life behind him. Gray, bearded and wrinkled, he pushed forward tirelessly. His hunched back showed how many years he had been riding a bicycle with a trailer. They lined up with him.

— [Reader]? I know them. — They never buy from me — he muttered. They live this way, two blocks from here. Quite a big house, you definitely won't miss it.

They thanked him. They were tired of wandering around in unfamiliar territory. As a token of gratitude, each of them bought a bottle of a white, still cool drink.

They texted [Reader] that they would be over soon. They hoped that she would read it and come out to meet them.

They followed the instructions they received. The man was right. There was no mistaking the buildings. Although the house was small, it stood out from the others. The gate was richly decorated. There were bushes in the garden, shaped strangely. Even the paving stones looked like an expensive mosaic. A decorative wreath of colourful flowers was hung on the door. Instead of a bell, they found an old-fashioned knocker. Without thinking, they grabbed the boards under their arms and knocked.

— Hey, are we singing for she’s a jolly good fellow? — Ranga whispered.

He didn't have time to receive an answer.

A tall and slim woman appeared in the doorway. She tied her dark hair in a distinguished bun. An elegant purple dress billowed behind her as the autumn air flowed into the hallway. The only thing spoiling her appearance was her aquiline nose, giving her face a stern expression. She looked at them suspiciously.

— Good morning. Mrs. [Reader]? — Reki made sure.

— That's right — she nodded. — But I don't want to buy anything from you — she grumbled, looking around the box. — I already have pots, vacuum cleaners, juicer... — she started to list.

— You misunderstood us. We are looking for our friend — [Reader].

He described her appearance in hopes that it would help.

— My niece? — The tone of voice changed immediately. She became even colder than when she started. — She sent you to get money? — She laughed hysterically. — You can tell her and my brother that they won't get a penny from me! He deserved everything. He didn't have to get drunk. I always told him that his damn sport wouldn't do him any good but why listen to your older sister? He ruined his life and destroyed his family...

They didn't know what to do with themselves. They were sure it was about their friend. But what exactly was this woman talking about? It was inappropriate to interrupt her. They couldn't leave either, having gotten themselves into this strange situation. So they stood there, listening to the tirade.

Hasegawa felt like they shouldn't be here at all right now. It all sounded like a family affair and they weren't part of it. He was about to say goodbye when [Reader] appeared behind him. Apparently she finally read the message. She ran out of one of the neighbouring houses. Compared to the mansion they stood in front of, the building looked repulsive.

— What are you doing here? — There was horror in her eyes.

Tears glistened in the corners of her eyes. She clumsily tried to wipe them with the sleeve of her old, worn-out sweater.

She came running, hoping that she would somehow manage to get the boys out of the area. However, it was too late. Her aunt said what she wanted. The truth came to light. There was nothing to cover up. Especially since the red mark from the impact was still visible on his cheek. Stories about falling down stairs or tripping on the road will not help.

— Come back here! — Mr. [Reader]'s scream echoed throughout the road.

He was staggering. He held cheap wine in his hand. The remnants of the red liquid danced in the bottle with each unsteady step.

This sight was nothing new. Her biggest regret was that her friends had to watch it. There was a reason she stayed away from people. Because of her father, no one wanted to associate with someone like her.

Ranga was stunned for a moment. He felt like he was watching a movie. It was hard for him to believe that he was witnessing this whole situation. He was aware that such things happened to people. However, the whole idea was unrealistic because he had never experienced it. And now it turned out that someone around him was a victim and it turned everything he knew up to now upside down.

Every bruise and wound took on significance. Carrying a first aid kit for emergencies was a must. He understood why the girl spent so much time away from home. Escaping into the world of books was the only way out. It also occurred to him that he had never seen her in the company of her friends or acquaintances. Suddenly canceling meetings for strange reasons finally made sense. The antipathy towards the board didn't come out of nowhere either.

When he realized that the father was going to raise his hand against his daughter, he stood in his way. He felt a rush of adrenaline. His body moved on impulse. Kyan did exactly the same. The gift box took the brunt of the impact. Then he only remembered a mixture of screams, a struggle and a call to the police. When the officer arrived, he was still in shock but relieved.

***

— That's funny — [Reader] said. — Failing at skateboarding destroyed my father, so I learned to hate it. And now a skateboard saved me.

She looked at the piece of wood on wheels under her feet. It seemed that she would like this sport as much as reading.

— Are you sure you want to stay with your aunt? I'm sure my mother wouldn't mind if you stayed with us for a while. — Hasegawa adjusted his leg position.

— I don't know what exactly touched my aunt. Maybe she just felt stupid that strangers defended me and my family didn't do anything. Anyway... — She tried to jump up, keeping her balance. — We talked for a long time about everything. I can stay there. Now that they have issued me with a blue card, things should be calmer.

— We'll see to that — Ranga said.

— Let's not talk about it for now. Today I just want to skate.

Tomorrow she was going to see a psychologist. There was no way to prepare for this. She was afraid of it but she also had hope.

She took a deep breath of cool air. The world looked completely different in the rush. The colours blurred in her eyes. She wanted to forget about everything for a moment. Not having to worry about the past. Some old thoughts lurked in the back of her mind. About the fact that there may be a great unknown at home — apparent order or wild madness. So that she had to meekly stay out of people's way. Just in case. Now the financial problems were finally no longer on her shoulders and she felt strangely about it. She didn't have to wonder how she was going to pay the next month's rent. She even got pocket money. She was still afraid to spend it as if it would become necessary in a moment. Sleep became strangely peaceful. So much so that sometimes she couldn't even go to bed. She no longer went to sleep to the accompaniment of screams alternating with apologies and false promises of a better tomorrow. She knew the present was normal but she still couldn't fully accept it. It was impossible to suddenly erase years of violence, alcohol and pain. But she was going to try.