#heafl

This is my American Shame.

Screen capture from “Fro Zen” music video - click the picture to see it on YouTube.

take my bow

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Some days you wake up changed

others, you are much the same

without love there isn’t anything worth waking up to

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The sun will rise and it will set

and I will crawl into bed with my regrets

but without you

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Every day I woke up next to you

was like waking up young and seeing everything new

now when I wake up and you’re not there

I have only what I saw the day before, and the day before that

-

If memories are all I have to live for

if the future seems bleak and uncertain

perhaps it’s time to take my bow

drop the curtain

fear formula

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Joy you get from causing displeasure

agony and misery in equal measure

no one escapes your disdain

everyone gets their fifteen minutes of pain

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Equal parts torture and terror

no equation for fright can compare

E = mc scared

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Joy you receive from causing distress

grief and sorrow in excess

no one escapes your ridicule

you don’t have to be kind to be cruel

-

Equal parts dread and dismay

memories of the hate you created

in the bad old days

-

The most sadistic individual

this world has ever seen

the few, the proud, the mean

-

Joy you get from blood curdling screams

the few

the proud

the mean

these scars

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Disgrace is pressing down

crushing me into the ground

humiliation has left me

marked and stained

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Pride helps me rise above

face the time that is to come

weakness takes the best

of what remains

-

These scars will never mend

they never do

this pain will not end

until I do

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I can’t take one more defeat and

I’m so tired of being beaten

cutting me into pieces

-

Now I’m holding my last breath in

strange and uncomfortable silences

slowly learning life’s lessons

-

Hard for you to understand

I have done all that I can

taken all the abuse

that I could handle

-

Put up one hell of a fight

when tomorrow comes I still might

be bleeding from the wounds

of my last battle

-

These scars will never mend

they never do

this pain will not end

until I do

crazy glue

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I kept the best parts of me hidden away

I kept my baby girl from getting away

I kept you in the dark, unable to see

it was the darkness that was enabling

-

I kept an eye on you from far away

it was me that towed your car away

I stole three years of your life and your innocence too

and that’s just the tip of the iceberg

-

Because now I’m out and I’m coming to see you

I’m going to take back what you took from me

you’ve got a rough road ahead

I wouldn’t want to be you

if you want to know where the fault lies

take a look at me

-

I am your nemesis, your constant adversary

I will destroy your life by any means necessary

every time you fall look up and you will see me standing there

-

now I am your enemy

you’d do well to stay away from me

every time you fail look up and you will see me standing there

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I made a comforter of all of my sins

I made a foolproof plan to do you in

I cultivated my hatred for you

and filled the locks in your car doors with crazy glue

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I made a doll in your image and stuck it with pins

my animosity stops where my anger begins

I spent two years of my life plotting your doom

and that’s just the tip of the iceberg

-

Because now I’m out and I’m coming to see you

I’m going to take back what you took from me

you’ve got a rough road ahead

I wouldn’t want to be you

if you want to know where the fault lies

take a look at me

-

I am your nemesis, your constant adversary

I will destroy your life by any means necessary

every time something goes wrong, look around and you will see my face

-

now I am your enemy

you’d do well to stay away from me

every time something goes bad, look around and you will see my face

I.A.M.

-

do you love darkness more than light?

have a healthy distrust in mankind?

full of hatred, with no hope?

misanthrope

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secrets are poison, secrets are walls

one sliver of truth uncovered

the whole facade falls

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A man’s character is his fate

you are broken, it’s too late

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Is your heart made of flesh or stone?

feel more comfortable standing alone?

used up and tired of being hurt?

introvert

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secrets are whispers, lies are black

one more falsehood discovered

the whole foundation cracks

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A man’s character dictates his demise

alone and forgotten, the heart dies

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A misfit, stand-offish

unapproachable

antisocial