#hetflexk

This is my American Shame.

Screen capture from “Fro Zen” music video - click the picture to see it on YouTube.

a sad ending

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Forgiveness liberates the soul

that is why it is such a powerful weapon

one that nobody has pointed in my direction

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Shame and uncertainty have taken control

and I wasn’t awake to see it happen

now I am crippled with apprehension

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I’ve given everything I had to give

until there was no more to give

apart from giving away, giving in, giving up, giving ground

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I’ve been down for so long

I’ve considered never returning to the surface

so this is what it’s like to drown

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It’s not easy to fight the enemy

when it resides inside your mind

not easy to live in the present

when you can’t leave your past behind

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I want to change but I can’t do it alone

I don’t know how, don’t have a clue

I need some help; need some hope

I need you.

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I need you.

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If I don’t get out from under this melancholy

it will eventually kill me

what an unfortunate way to end my story

Woodburn, OR. 

mad as a March hare

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Disconnected from the world

and all the people in it

standing on a low island

in the middle of a sea of ignorance

fed up, pissed off, ready to surrender

and have been from the beginning

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It is our enemies, not our friends, that define us

always there to remind us

of our failures, fears and uncertainties

ready to use them against us

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Nobody seems to understand

I am doing all that I can

tried every day of my life to gain happiness

but will likely die a lonely man

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It shouldn’t be so hard to find

peace of mind

but it has eluded me all my life

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Am I crazy?  Sometimes I feel that way

ask me what’s wrong; I don’t always know what to say

my sadness is often irrational

moments of bliss, occasional

am I unbalanced, coming unhinged, or just strange?

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What I was younger I was diagnosed

over the years things have gotten worse

never been institutionalized, but they’ve tried

in order to prove you’re sane, you have to lie

and that’s just crazy, isn’t it?

bad habits and harsh truths

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We hold these truths to be undeniable

that all men are created equally unreliable

we hold these truths to be obvious

we’re approaching a police state; the government is robbing us

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“Protect and serve” is a thing of the past

you are under arrest

to help oil the prison-for-profit machine

if you’ve ever been caught in it, you know what I mean

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“Guilty until proven innocent” is now the norm

don’t expect reform

no education or rehabilitation

that might clog the revolving door

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This is not a conspiracy

this day will not live on in infamy

this is not a protest

it is a dose of reality

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Nothing lasts forever

not love, desire; not even friends

if we stop fooling ourselves

the delusion ends, and we begin to mend

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Hurting is the only language

the bullies of the world seem to understand

your misery is a melody to them

your enemies are their closest friends

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Lies are the currency of politicians

and those in positions of authority

welcome to the brotherhood of deceit

get comfortable with their conceit

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The people you need the most won’t be there

they won’t see, they won’t hear

they won’t know, they won’t care

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Don’t ask anyone for help

try to accomplish what you need by yourself

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We hold these truths to be horrendous

our bad habits are growing worse

and they will end us