#hc.marcus

Akari: kind and sweet, the domestic type, definitely seeks the ready to commit ones lol mans got no time to waste

Audrey: artists lol a bit indie, the soft and nice ones, also kind of the broken ones oop anyone that gives him a nice vibe uwu

Ethan: quiet and strong type or the manly, masculine type or both, both is honestly the best lol

Valentin: ambitious and playful, the dreamers with a heart of gold, just make him believe you are everything lol 

Roger: the possessive ones for some reason lol a bit stubborn, smart, passionate, if they're the jealous type that's probably a plus lol 

Reese: energetic, charming, a tad dramatic, basically any idol or like actor might fit the bill lol

Ryker: outcast type lol the bad boy, the weird one, the quiet one lol they all gotta be kind and soft deep inside tho lol and piercings you know what just have piercings lol

Freyr: anyone he feels he wants to absolutely dominate lol no that's not a joke lol he likes his masc bottoms oop

Steve: soft things lol literally, that is Steve's type, anything that he thinks looks soft or acts soft or has softness to it - attracted to those he feels a need to protect or look after lol

Jaume: he likes a challenge, someone who can keep up with him, someone wild and that enjoys thrill as much as him, independent; if they’re nasty that’s a plus lol

Lemme blush like a fool and laugh like a crackhead at ALL your jokes and oops did I get handsy just then haha: ADRIAN, Charmaine, Roger, Dorian

Gets sad and cries and probably horny: Audrey, Sebastian, Davide, Valentin

Still maintains composure but lets things slip and says things they wouldn’t normally: Desiree, Akari

Gets a bit fucking wild honestly: Ethan, Adele

Lavishes you with poetry and galaxy brain thoughts to try and impress you: Valentin, Dorian, Audrey

Time to lend you my coat, buy you expensive dinner and gifts: Akari, Adele

I will support you through everything and cook/bake for you: Desiree, Adrian

Soft and daring touches and long, intense, can’t take my eyes off you gazes: Davide, Ethan

Let’s share everything about ourselves and then laugh until we die pls while you hold me/I hold you: Reese, Maria

We can be kinda wild together why not (also compliments galore): Charmaine, Sebastian 

Imma act all charming to impress you while also being the biggest hopeless romantic: Roger 

Here’s a question: can Marcus actually feel love? 

The short answer is no. He doesn’t have the tools to develop that kind of intimacy with someone. However, that doesn’t mean he can’t build relationships. He doesn’t have the empathy necessary to feel that sort of affection towards people, but that doesn’t mean he can’t feel attachment. He can feel devotion, he can like people and enjoy people’s presence. He has the capacity to commit to people and he obviously can feel attracted to people. He’s not like... Cement lol He’s still human. Can he show affection and love? Yeah, he’s actually good at social cues and can read people to filth, honestly. He will display all you want from a partner because he knows what’s needed of him. Either to keep you with him or just because he doesn’t open up to people about his lack of empathy. 

Okay lemme talk about Marcus for a second, because he’s my devil child but arguably one of my more interesting muses, psychologically speaking. What scares me when I write him is that, hard to explain but... I won’t get feelings from him, I will get THOUGHTS about how he should feel or act like lol  He’ll be hugging someone and instead of the warm feeling I get with like Roger or Sebastian, I’ll get something like: “this hug should show this person I care for them, right?” The only intense feeling I ever got from him was anger and like... Maybe just excitement. But twisted excitement. Joy at having things go HIS way. 

There is a reason I put people off from interacting with him and that is, honestly... I am afraid people will try to ‘fix’ him and there’s nothing to fix there, honestly. That’s who he is. People showing him love or affection or people making him feel guilty will not work. He does not care. He has no remorse, either. The closest thing to like... Affection I get from him is when he thinks about painting. And that is a very controlling, weird view on painting. He likes to think he morphs reality and is able to control the narrative. 

Also, half a rant right here, but some characters really can’t be or don’t need to be ‘saved’. Marcus is one of them, but a lot of my muses deal with mental health issues. Them falling in love or finding friendship won’t cure their PTSD, agoraphobia, depression etc. It just... Don’t work like that. I am just painfully aware of that with Marcus who doesn’t process emotions in a healthy way. 

2. what was the best thing in your character’s life?

Sebastian: His parents. Gymnastics. The feeling of flying. All things he no longer has. Being able to feel truly happy without feeling an echo of emptiness beneath his ribs. He’s so fucking sad and it kills me the best things in his life are gone, forever. 

Marcus: Discovering painting. It helps him put his thoughts in order. Marcus finds pleasure in many things and then abandons them as quickly as he picks them up. But painting stuck with him. There’s a different allure to being able to manipulate the reality around people and present it as it really is (or how he sees it to really be). 

Roger: Best thing that he ever experienced was winning his first race. It’s one of his fondest memories. He’d say he’s had a really good life and he’s glad for many things, but none of them manage to get the reaction that memory gets. 

Valentin: His husband. Without a fucking doubt. No amount of money, glory, adoration, knowledge or power EVER came close to how much happiness his husband brought to him. This man has seen the Earth from space, probably named far away stars and planets, travelled all over the world... And it’s still that one person that was the best thing that happened to him. Which is why he holds onto him so viciously. 

Davide: Moving on with his life. Not giving into the paranoia. Just... Moving away from his past as much as possible. He can actually live with himself on most days nowadays. He still harbours a lot of guilt and fear, but he has never made a better decision in his life than leaving his family and the mafia. 

3. what was the worst thing in your character’s life?

Sebastian: Needless to say, his parents’ death. He still blames himself for their death and his life spiralled way out of control after their death. Even though he looks like he has shit together, Sebastian is a deeply troubled man.  

Marcus: He’s really not had a hard life and he doesn’t take to heart things. But his childhood was lonely and bizarre. He didn’t have any friends and while that might not have bothered Marcus always, it bothered everyone else around him and that makes him hold onto some stigma around the way he processes emotions. That might have actually inadvertently made him reject therapy and all attempts his parents made to help him live a normal life. 

Roger: I would say his heartbreak from when he was young, but deep down he knows his biggest regret and the worst thing he’s ever done was not actually finding someone to settle down with. His life can feel a bit pointless and empty at times, despite the lavish life style and the fact he has no need for anything. And he could have a lot of people, but he wants that person, you know? Poor baby lol  

Valentin: Do I have to say it? Lol The loss of his husband. It broke him. He has never and will never be the same. 

          Marcus headcanons because he’s a fucker but he’s interesting. 

He’s actually a really good painter - a bit abstract at times, but also likes painting people; themes of desperation, falling into abyss/sin, imagery of vines and chains holding onto people. 

When he slips away from his polished, mild mannered demeanour, there’s always swear words. And to people close to him it’s very jarring, because he’s so well spoken and polite usually. So to hear him just say ‘fuck’ is a trip and a half. 

I’ve never put a label on him because I don’t want people to attribute certain things with him that pertain to said label. However, I’d say he’s closer to a psychopath - and like all people with little empathy, he doesn’t feel remorse about leaving people when he gets bored. There’s a lot of studies about romantic/emotional attachments of people with low empathy/emotional intelligence and they all point out there’s a cyclic nature to how they get attached resulting in inevitable departure from romantic interest.

Marcus is very cerebral, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel things - particularly anger and more instinct based emotions. His inability to process emotions properly doesn’t stop him from having feelings. But it’s nothing like... Having his heart full of love lol That doesn’t resonate with him. 

     Mood: Experimental, antipop, chill. 

     Full playlist // Tracks: 

1. Fuck with myself // BANKS

2. I got 5 on it // Luniz, Michael Marshall 

3. Control // Halsey 

4. Broke bitch // Tiny Meat Gang (TMG)

5. IF YOU PRAY RIGHT // BROCKHAMPTON