#hazrie

I’m taking off the RP hat here for a few moments to discuss a problem we have on our server.

The problem is quite simply RP trolls, griefers, harassers.  They’re all the same sort of people, intent on ruining your time for whatever reason.  

Sometimes they simply dislike RP entirely; some of them are a part of our community of RPers and are specifically targeting singular people, cliques, or guilds; and sometimes they are especially malicious individuals targeting people who LGBTQ RPers or RP.

Regardless of what their reasoning is, they are wrong.  What they’re doing is morally wrong and they are pieces of living human filth for doing so.  On top of all of that, it is entirely against Blizzard’s TOS.

Today a short but pleasant (other than the trolls) event was ran by some of the more active people in Wyrmrest Accord’s community.  A few small sets of trolls tried their best to grief the event into the ground and indeed ruined the experience for a number of people.

So I want to take a moment to highlight some of these terrible people who I saw today, along with their entire guilds who eagerly joined in on the griefing.  If these people affected your experience during the event, I strongly encourage you to report them.  At the end of the post I will leave a detailed guide on the ways in which I find Blizzard is most responsive to reports.

The first and possibly largest interruption to the event was a Pandaren named Nohara.  A lot of you may know her from her spamming Savage Snowballs at human-form Worgen characters to put them into combat, forcing them to shapeshift.

She spent the majority of the event spamming disruptive toys(Including Piccolo of Flaming Fire and the Moonfeather Statue) and yelling as well as using large mounts to obscure the screen of the people watching the event.

Secondly, Auradein.  He participated in the toy spam and did his best to place his character in the way of the event.

I feel it is important to point out that the guild he is in, The Thirteenth Crusade is a notorious trolling guild, specifically targeting LGBT RPers and characters.  These are possibly some of the most vile people on the Alliance.  They use RP mods like TRP3 and MRP to create toxic, terrible, racist, sexist and violent descriptions and tooltips.  Basically the WoW RP of edgy 14-year-olds making obnoxious forum signatures.

Auradein’s TRP was somewhat tame compared to the usually racist/islamophobic trash his guild usually displays.

Finally, Jade and some members of her guild Concordance contributed to the griefing with OOC chatter and abuse of the Dazzling Rod toy.

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All of these people made an effort to ruin the times of other people attending this event and they all should be reported for griefing.  I want you all to know that ignoring them isn’t the way to handle this.  We can defend our server from  these people.  The tools Blizzard gives us to do so with are clunky but usable.  However, they will do nothing if we do not stand together in this.  Just one or two people reporting them is not enough.

Firstly, when reporting a griefer, you should whisper them politely, asking them to stop.  This whisper has a dual purpose.  It shows creates a timestamp for Blizzard to look into as well as helps them determine who is being reported(especially for people with special characters).  If they do stop, I leave it up to you as a judgement call to determine whether you should continue on with the report.  Them stopping doesn’t excuse their earlier actions.

Secondly, you should always right-click report the person.

Report them for cheating via right-clicking the portrait.  Explain in as much detail as you can what they did in the pop-up box.

If the person is spamming chat or using racist OOC language, right-click their name in the chat box to get the dropdown for that.

Now that you’ve done this, you can get to the meat of the report.

Hit escape and go to help.

Now hit Open a Ticket.  

Now hit Gameplay.

Scroll down and hit Report a player.

Hit Ongoing harassment.

Then this thing.

Now this.

It may prompt you to log in again.  Please don’t be deterred.

Finally you’re here.  There will be a large section at the top telling you to place the people on ignore.  Please do so.

Now just fill in the boxes.  Be as specific as you can.  Tell Blizzard who did what, how it affected you and how it affects the RP community.

This is the way we need to stand up against these bullies.  Stand together and we can cast them down.

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By Hazrie of Dalaran

Illidan Stormrage sulks in a corner, refusing to give up on his dreams of one day being with Tyrande Whisperwind despite the debauchery he’s filled his life with.

One of the most controversial individuals on Azeroth, Illidan Stormrage is either a hero or villain to those who know his name.

We at the Dalaran Daily have taken it upon ourselves to do some research into the lesser-known aspects of the first Demon Hunter’s life.  Specifically his numerous perversions and the disturbing daily routines he put his students through during their training to become Demon Hunters.

Illidan has only extended the knowledge of how to become Demon Hunters to other elves.  Of the numerous rumors as to why this could be, we at the Dalaran Daily feel that it is plainly obvious that Illidan sought out only individuals who fit his specific tastes.  Right from this we can begin to form the profile of those Illidan targeted for his disturbing training.

The vast majority of Demon Hunters were those who had lost their families in the wars against the Legion.  They were alone.  Few would care if they disappeared.  They were emotionally vulnerable and more likely to take the plunge into embracing Fel, something that they all know they could never turn back from.  These desperate elves were promised vengeance upon the Legion but they got far more than they had thought.

From the information we collected, joining the Illidari was much like joining a cult.  You were forced to distance yourself from what little friends and family you had left and forced to depend on Illidan for the Fel you need to sustain yourself.  Death was absolutely a risk for those whose loyalties questionable.  The indoctrination was intense, enough so that even to this day the majority of Illidari will not talk about their experiences in the Black Temple.

We have promised the few who did that their identities would remain secret and despite their openness about the things that happened to them in Outland, they continue to serve the Illidari, either out of fear or continued dedication to Illidan.

In many ways, the Illidari have a dress code.  It encourages the Demon Hunters to wear as little clothing as possible.  The vast majority of Illidari we spoke with haven’t worn a shirt in over ten years.  If it hasn’t been obvious to you, there simply aren’t unattactive Demon Hunters.  This is a very clear example of Illidan’s attempts to surround himself with as many scantily clad, beautiful elves as possible.  Illidan himself rarely wears more than a pair of pants.

A large number of Demon Hunters have been taught to see Illidan as a father figure of sorts.  At least half of the Illidari I spoke with consider him more of a father than their birthparent, some even going as far to call him Dad, Illidad, or Daddy Stormrage.  Others referring to him as shan’daddy, rather than shan’do, the traditional title for an honored teacher in Darnassian.

One of the Illidari I spoke with was eager to show me the tattoo on his lower back in Darnassian, translated into common it roughly read “Daddy’s Little Demon”.  I had thought this would be something that might reveal their identity to other Illidari readers, but such tattoos are apparently extremely common.

There is a strange sexual aspect to this son/daughter-father relationship.  Several Night Elves who I spoke with implied that it makes more sense in the context of Night Elf tradition while the Blood Elves I spoke with were very open about this being their fetish.

At this point in our investigation both me and my photographer were quite disgusted, so our investigations slowed drastically.  We did hear numerous stories of the slave-filled pleasure rooms inside of Black Temple and the excessive number of Succubi kept close to Illidan’s personal chambers, which might be just a roof.

By Hazrie of Dalaran

This sight may seem very much familiar to you.  An overly aggressive ten foot tall human male with no shirt, showing off the largest weapon he can carry in the middle of the city.  When most normal citizens see this they often will either ignore the stranger aspects of the person or ignore the person entirely.  This has gone so far that there is simply no support structure to help these poor souls in Stormwind

Today we would like to shed some light on the grim truth of addiction to growth potions, the most easily accessible and cheap drug available in any market or auction house.

The growth potions in question are usually one of three different types. Elixir of Giant Growth: An Elixir made from transformative compounds found in Deviate Fish and Earthroot.  Mass-produced by the Steamwheedle Cartel, this is the most available and widespread of the growth potions. Winterfall Firewater: A rare concoction made by tribes of furbolgs in Winterspring, formerly popular until the furbolgs were slain to near-extinction in the effort to obtain more of the potion for sale in auction houses. Darkmoon Firewater: A Darkmoon recreation of Winterfall Firewater.  The Darkmoon Faire refused to share any information on the ingredients or process used to make the stuff.  It seems more effective at actually increasing the strength of the user than the other two.

All three of these drugs share important attributes, allowing them to be used interchangeably by addicts.  Firstly, imbibers will of course grow several feet taller, their physical strength does not grow in proportion to their size.  Secondly, the imbiber is significantly more likely to have randomly aggressive outbursts and childlike tantrums.  Thirdly, long term use will result in the wasting away of their sanity, usually resulting in the adoption of a secondary persona to explain their size as genuine; humans claiming to be Vrykul is very popular.

Over the last few weeks of research, we’ve discovered a strange phenomenon.  Those who abuse these elixirs and potions most seriously are already quite tall.  Routinely well over six feet tall in the case of humans.

If you or one of your loved ones are suffering through addiction to these terrible substances, remember that there are places out there that can help.

By Hazrie of Dalaran

The party as we arrived, please do not report the large umbrella fire to the guards.

Held upon one of the most busy bridges in Stormwind, the party was already in full swing when we arrived.  Gronn, booze, gnomes, ogres and umbrella littered the area.

As I worked myself into the fray, I met up with Impsy the Clown, who at the time was hosing off a vomit and beer-soaked partygoer.

When Impsy and his friend were finished cleaning off my fellow gnome I requested a quick interview with him.

At this point, Impsy and the other people at the party began transforming into female elves.

When we asked what brought Impsy to Stormwind he let us know he’s, “Just here to clown around!”

I asked if he had anything he’s truly like to say, he  asked us to print his friend Minty’s statement “We got perky booblettes!”

He followed that up by saying, “You can just quote who I am!  I’m Impsy!  The Gnome Clown!  And I like to party!”

Before long the party really started to heat up.

There was even a piñata.

We asked Impsy how he got into clowning.  We weren’t expecting such a sorrowful tale.

"I was in school to become an Engineer! But I didn't have the grades... So I dropped out and became a clown to pay back my student loans! And it just kind of Stuck! But... I love it!"

Luckily it wasn’t all that bad for Impsy.

"Engineering is a very lucrative career... But being a clown gets me all the hot chicks!"

By Hazrie of Dalaran

Leading his followers to the promised land the Cow God makes it’s way through Stormwind City.

Today marks a momentous day in history.  A lone Cow has made its way through the city of Stormwind.

One may ask how this is remarkable.  This Cow in particular moved through the city with a strange determination.  Citizens of the city began to follow the Cow, praising it, petting it and kneeling before it.

Some twisted individuals sought to attack it, but once near the Cow any desire to cause it harm was washed away, leaving them unable to begin their assault.

The Cow lead its followers through the city to the new area, that which was formerly the park: Lion’s Rest.

The Cow made it’s way through the area quickly and without hesitance, leading a silent group of followers, united from all races.

Once the Cow had found a clearing in Lion’s Rest it levitated into the air, staring out towards the sea.  Those who were in the area claim to have felt strange and overwhelming emotions and feelings of static on their skin.

The followers of the Cow did everything they could to rise to it’s height to continue their worship.  The gathering grew loud with praise and fantastical cries.

Before long the strange energy from the Cow lept out from it in incredible beams of rainbow-colored light.

As quickly as the Cow’s quest began it ended.  In a flash of light the Cow was gone.  This has happened multiple times throughout the day.

Talking to some individuals who have witnessed the miraculous event we have heard several possibilities.

A true bovine deity seeking to open a portal to the ‘Cow Level’.

A lost and forgotten Wild God who once resided over Stormwind’s Park, having returned.

A grand illusion casted by the Horde in an attempt to distract the Alliance.

By Hazrie of Dalaran

A young warlock discovers that kneeling for his succubus does not usually end where most wish it would.

In the last few years warlocks have made themselves very useful to the Alliance, their use of Fel magic and command of demons filling what some would say was a necessary niche in the military's needs.

Recently, however, many warlocks have found that their demonic minions have become progressively more sexy and swole as well as interested in their warlock’s affection.

The Kirin Tor continues to advise against responding to any demon's sexual or emotional advances and suggests strongly against forming relationships with any individual afflicted under the influence of the Burning Legion.

Furthermore it should be stated twice over not to engage demons in interactions with a focus on sado-masochism or themes of dominance and submission, especially where the warlock themselves is the submissive component.

Archmage Khadgar took a moment from his busy schedule to make a statement on the subject. "Do.  Not.  Fuck.  Demons."  He very clearly requested that each word be printed as it's own sentence.

By Hazrie of Dalaran

A Warden brutally beats one of the costumed fans at the festival to death with his own rubber Warglaive.

Once a year on the anniversary of the death of Illidan Stormrage a gathering of individuals known as the “Illidan Fandom” gather from all across the world to express their enthusiasm for the controversial historical figure or Demon Hunters in general.

The gatherings have always been relatively small but have grown larger over time, requiring larger spaces to conduct their festival.  This year marks the first where the festival's attendance warranted outdoor accommodations.  Over two hundred attendees flooded the little forest town of Astranaar.

The hosts who conducted the festival received numerous notices and warnings from a mysterious sender, threatening to kill everyone who attended the event.

The festival-goers were left uninformed as the warnings were ignored, not even reported to the local authorities.

The attack, committed by an unnamed Warden resulted in the four casualties and ten others wounded, the vast majority of the assaults committed with a stolen rubber Warglaive replica.

Each of the victims of her rampage was wearing a homemade Demon Hunter costume, taking part in a festival tradition known as “cosplay”.  Some of Astranaar’s residents claimed that the victims deserved what they got.  We spoke with  Haljan Oakheart who made a statement, “They shouldn’t be idolizing that monster.”

We at the Dalaran Daily disagree.

Please take a moment to mourn the loss of Karnyl Snowtoe 46, Tylbia Puddlefuse 34, Hailee Sutton 26, and Darrius Graeme 81.

Upon contacting the Watchers for information on the Warden they refused to speak common, pretending to not know the language.

By Hazrie of Dalaran 

The now-inert Portal continues to be an ever-present reminder that apparently at any time strange new versions of Draenor can unleash madness and destruction upon Azeroth.

In a bid to curry public favor with the people of Stormwind as well as strengthen his waning image as a competent leader, leader of the Alliance and King of Stormwind Varian Wrynn has proposed building a wall around the Dark Portal as an attempt to stop the frequent orcish invasions.

With the third attempt at an Orcish Invasion, through the same giant magical doorway that was used for every other catastrophic invasion of our world, finally having passed the King of the nearest kingdom has apparently decided enough is enough.

Rumor has it the plans are already being set into motion and word is being spread among the people of Stormwind.

We took a moment to ask one of the supporters why they feel so strongly about the construction project.  Sir Athius Noralis, a Stormwind-born Half-Elf commented, "The wall is just the first step to making Azeroth great once more.  First the wall comes up to prevent more orcs from entering the world, then we can move on to removing the orcs who continue to ravage the world from previous invasions."