#hatesec

Merry web pranksters

Sparked a series of movements

Till it turned toxic

Internet Chronicle enters incredible “Stage III” of spectacular human development study

Lebal Drocer Laboratories boldly guides us into a Brave New World Raleigh T. Hatesec, chairman of the Workers’ Party of Democratic People’s Republic of United States of America, chairman of the DPRUSA State Board of Ethics in Human Experimentation and supreme commander of the American People’s Army, gave field guidance to a Washington, D.C. Orphanage and Primary School where children are grown in…

Neoliberal partnerships advance chronicle.su agenda ‘one step close to peaceful annihilation’

hatesec is a cat on the internet The Internet Chronicle has combined forces with Hate Security by Hatesec Enterprises, a Lebal Drocer affiliate. The new partnership’s dual purpose is to simultaneously hack your iPhone using powerful, state-of-the-art decryption techniques, and provide a propaganda mouthpiece for the ruling elite, who got that way because they have earned it. You’re reading it…

Black holes look just like the sun

Agents of entropy, black holes are real and they are all around you You say cheese and the camera steals your soul. What a smile! How many pictures of you are out there, capturing that magical moment when you pretended to be happy on command? What a smile. Such a warm memory. Relive it, exactly as it happened, alongside 999 photographs – all of them magical – from the same evening. With a swipe…

BREAKING NEWS UPDATE: http://chronicle.su/2014/10/ebola-confirmed-in-small-georgia-town/

Ebola confirmed in small Georgia town

Georgia authorities are trying to determine how many people a news editor exposed to Ebola.

Cuthbert, Ga. - The CDC ordered chronicle.su staff members to stay home Thursday and asked them not to enter their Cuthbert, Ga. office until it can be determined their squat of a newsroom is clear of the dreaded #Ebola virus.

“He tippy-tap-typed on that keyboard all god damn day, I guess I better disinfect it,” Kilgoar said, “as if he’s actually going to publish anything that might make us some money. And now the motherfucker’s got Ebola. Now he is Worthless.”

Beloved editor and author of several incomplete manifestos, Hatesec never made any money for the hatenest website on the internet, chronicle.su, Kilgoar said. “And now he won’t, because he’s dying from the #Ebola.”

When hatesec began hashtagging Ebola, fellow journalists thought it was a pitiful grab for retweets – and it was certainly that – but it also became a self-fulfilling prophecy.

While volunteering with Doctors Without Borders in West Africa, as he was known to do in his limited free time, @hatesec said he contracted Ebola after moving a pile of fresh bodies.

“I was helping this Chinese lady move bodies and because Obama cut our aide, we didn’t have anymore protected gear, so we just moved the bodies by hand,” #hatesec said. “And that Chinese lady, I don’t think even knew what Ebola was. I think she was unfit to work at the iPhone factory so they had her moving corpses.”

Hatesec blamed the Chinese woman for his ailment. “That bitch kept unfolding the blankets we were using as a stretcher and she had me touching blood. Now I’m fucked. I hope she is, too.”

The Chinese woman’s name, condition and existence have not been independently confirmed, but hatesec assured doctors that regardless of her condition, she is an ignorant asshole.

Hatesec is probably going to die because he could not afford his ObamaCare but even if he could, he maintains that ObamaCare is a form of socialism and roundly rejects its validity. So he will be stored in a plastic box where he can no longer contaminate society with his filthy body, and filthy ideals.

“Think about how handy FEMA coffins when the virus breaks out though,” Kilgoar said. “You’re going to want those plastic sealed containers. You don’t wanna burn up, that just lets it out. You want to lock it away in a plastic container.”

Murdoch Sets Sights on Internet Chronicle

As chronicle.su strikes up lucrative new advertising deals, rumors suggesting Australian media mogul Rupert Murdoch is closing a deal of his own with Lebal Drocer, Inc.

Business analysts predict the transaction could transfer majority control of The Internet Chronicle to News Corp, Murdoch’s multi-national, benevolent corporation.

Longtime Chronicle editors Kilgoar Trout and Hatesec reportedly…