"A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on." -Winston Churchill

I’m aware that I am a bit late to the party but better late than never, yeah?

And since I’ve been away from blogging for a bit, I thought, hell, why not come back fighting?

Well, not an actual fight, mind you. Internet fights are usually the favorite modus operandi of anonymous bullies who like to pick on people without the consequences they would face in ‘real life.’

Brace yourselves nerds, I’m extremely verbose and shit is about to get real.

My mother has long told me that from a very young age I had an overdeveloped sense of justice. I loathe bullies. Nothing incites me to physical violence more quickly than a bully. Then you can well imagine my level of not cool when I heard out about the brouhaha that has been swirling about the Indiegogo campaign to fund the 2014 Nerd HQ at SD Comic-Con (for those of you unfamiliar with the awesomeness that is The Nerd Machine and Nerd HQ, head over to www.thenerdmachine.com and iwantmynerdhq.com).

Disclaimer: Yes, I have donated to ‘I Want My Nerd HQ’. Yes, I am huge supporter of The Nerd Machine, Zachary Levi, Nerd HQ, and nerds in general. I do not, however, work for, get money from, nor am I in any way being compensated for my opinions on this matter. It is simply that: My opinion. If you disagree with my opinion, well, tough noogies, kiddo AND you might not want to read this unless you have severe masochistic tendencies. Now that general housekeeping is over and done with, let’s get back to our regularly scheduled ass chewing program.

Internet swill doesn’t usually faze me because it’s just that: a bunch of crap that is only suitable for feeding pigs. But I do take exception when good people are being hurt and maligned by said swill. Among the garbage that is being spread around is that Zach and TNM are raising a million dollars so they can throw a big party for all of their ‘celebrity’ friends. Another fun one? ‘How on earth can it take a million dollars to operate Nerd HQ for four days?’ But what I really love is the shade being thrown at Zach and Nerd HQ for not giving the fans ‘more’ perks, or that none of the money being raised for ‘I Want My Nerd HQ’ is being given directly to charity. I’m not going to dignify the main source of these questions with a link, but let’s just say this person even makes fun of the charity in their quest to shame Zach and Nerd HQ.

My main issue here is not the stupid asinine unintelligent questions. Questions, by the by, that Zach himself has answered ad nauseam. It is the way in which the questions were posed. The fact is that this person, or persons, didn’t even have the balls guts to reach out to Zach or TNM before they hit publish. Since then, Zach has stated that he personally reached out and has heard not a word back from said person(s). The lack of journalistic integrity, honor, and even simple, human decency is astounding.

Hey, I know what you’re thinking: “Why the big deal, B? Zachary Levi is a rich celebrity with the world at his feet. Who cares if he takes some heat over it?”

I do.

The reason?

In our world, selfish, narcissistic, I’m-gonna-get-mine-and-damn-the-rest-of-you ‘celebrities’ are a dime a dozen. Nice, decent, giving celebrities? Not so much.

I get it, though. You think I’m some fan-girl sticking up for my current celebrity crush and that I’m probably wearing some heavy-duty rose-colored glasses. Maybe. But your theory would have more weight if it wasn’t for a few salient facts:

1) I’m an actor. And a good one, I might add. Actors come in various shapes, sizes, and neurosis. The egos, the drama, the pandering, the need to be liked, adored, and applauded. Being around these things is one of my least favorite parts of my job. Thus, I’ve never asked for an autograph because it feels disingenuous. Like I need an actor/performer to give me a piece of themselves even after they’ve already done that on stage or on screen. No, thank you.

2) I’ve worked in customer service and retail since I was a preteen. To wit, I have seen it all. All aspects of the human condition come out when you serve someone. You get real good, real fast, at being able to separate the liars, hypocrites, and freeloaders from everyone else.

Combine the above two facts with a hefty dose of good ole intuition and I’m very, very good at reading people.

3) I’ve met Zach. Watched him with fans for over an hour (in a non-stalker-ly way, I assure you). This was after he had already performed a Broadway musical, non-stop for 90 minutes, AND took pictures with patrons because it was Broadway Cares night. In other words, people paid money to get up on stage and take pictures with Zach, Krysta Rodriguez and the cast of ‘First Date.’ This also took another hour + and I thought there was a pretty good chance they would not come out and do stage door that night.

Background: Zach became well-known and lauded for how he did ‘stage door.’ On Broadway, the talent enters and exits at the stage door to the theatre, not the main lobby. Thus, fans gather outside the stage door hoping to get a picture and/or get their program signed. Some actors will do stage door and meet with the fans. Quite a lot of ‘big name’ talent does not. It is not something actors are required to do, they do it if they want to.

Did Zach just come out, sign a few autographs, and book it out of there? Nope, not our boy. Zach turns it into a dance party. Yes, you read me right, a dance party (!) complete with iPod and music system. People were tweeting all over the place that they’d never seen anything like it. I know I haven’t.

Zach and Krysta proceed to sign programs and talk to everyone who waited. EVERYONE. We’re talking a minimum of 200 people. Zach explained that they’d sign autographs first and then do pictures so things would flow more easily. They signed all the autographs, looked people in the eyes, talked to them, and were generally pretty freakin’ fantastic. I was exhausted just watching them. Then Zach took pictures with everyone else who wanted to. I hung back toward the end of the line with my friend MK, and let everyone else go in front of me, because I’m an introvert and, surprisingly for me, it seems I’m also a bit of a coward. MK and I made friends with bouncer that was there for crowd control (he was quite nice and thought we were hilarious, mostly due to MK) and we complemented him on how efficient and awesome this all was. He told us they were getting pretty good at it and this was a fairly typical night. For a little more perspective: They do eight shows a week. Zach and Krysta did this almost every single performance, from what I’ve been able to gather, and this particular night was their 100th performance (First Date bowed after 208 shows). 100 y’all. That, my friends, is not something you see much.

I know, I know, you want me to get to the point, yeah?

We are almost there, nerds (and I did warn you that I’m long-winded ;).

What happened when I finally met Zach? He was lovely, hella tall (I was in boots which boosted me an inch to 6’ and he was still a head taller than me. It was a nice change), and very observant. I had on my giving key necklace (check out www.thegivingkeys.com while you’re at it. You can thank me later) and even though I had a scarf and a coat on over it, Zach still managed to spy it and ask me about it. Observant, making personal connections- that reflects someone who genuinely cares, not someone who is just putting on a show. Zach thanked us multiple times for coming to see the show. He thanked us. Not once, not twice, but three times.

You picking up what I’m putting down yet? No?

Then let me break it down:

A good, kind, and decent person does what Zach was doing. I really don’t even need to address or refute the shade being thrown at Zach and Nerd HQ because I know the content of his character.

I could go on for another eight paragraphs about how I have personally been able to enjoy over 50 hours of panels with some of my favorite actors, directors, and writers, FOR FREE. Or how if Nerd HQ didn’t happen, not only would we miss out on the wonderful panels, the dance parties, and the general nerd awesomeness, but a lot less children would have their lives changed by the money that Nerd HQ raises for Operation Smile. Or how about the fact that it takes humbling yourself to ask for help, and to keep asking for help, even after you’ve been attacked for, wait for it, ASKING FOR HELP.

*Deep breath*

I could also point out that if you think you can do better, why don’t you?

Because those who don’t even attempt to do, desperately try to tear down those who actually do.

And while I’m at it, if you don’t like or support Zach or Nerd HQ, DON’T DONATE, don’t buy merch, don’t watch the panels, etc. But for the love of all that is good and holy in this world, go find someone who deserves your overblown scorn, sarcasm, and derision. Stop tearing down the people that are actually trying to do good and want to make a difference.

*Steps off of soapbox*

If you want to support Zach, and all that The Nerd Machine and Nerd HQ stand for, go donate and/or buy some merchandise. Let’s kick the doubters and the naysayers where it hurts, shall we?