#harshwords

Hello there! My name is Jodi and I'm 54 years old. I am disabled and live alone with my furry friends - a dog and a cat. They are my constant companions and help me stay grounded. Unfortunately, my car was wrecked in March 2019 while my neighbor was driving it to work. I let her borrow it before and I was just grateful that she wasn't hurt. I later found out, however, that she did not have her license nor did she have insurance. I only had liability insurance, and the loss of my car has made it hard for me to get to my medical appointments. I have to rely on insurance transportation, but sometimes they are late or don't show up, which causes me to miss my appointments. I also have to ask others for rides to the grocery store, church, family functions, or any other activity I would like to do. I feel isolated and restricted because of my lack of transportation.

6 seconds

to save

my soul

And time's running out

And with a chisel she will carve,

Slicing away her face,

Removing her beauty,

And her grace,

Will you love her still,

In all the manners you promised too?

I’m afraid of being alone with my own thoughts

         Of the ominous black silence that seeps through the cracks in my mind                         when I’m alone

Of the voices that don’t belong to me, scattered across my bemused brain.                              Conspiring against me

Of the rabbit hole I’m lead down when idle pondering tempts me woozily across a twisted path and I find myself lost. Trapped.

Of my own creations seducing me. Torturing me.

Of the un imaginable depths of my own consciousness.

        A void I scream into, and it screams back.

The beating stopped. He grabbed the keys out the ignition. He started to walk back to his brother's house. I followed him. What choice did I have. He had the keys to my house and my car. He told me to stop following him. And I said when you give me my keys back I will. That's it but you're not just going to take off of my keys to my car in my house and expect me not to follow you. I don't care how bad you beat me.