Things I’ve said over the past week that most people don’t normally hear outside of my family (since I moved into dorms) :
“Well if they didn’t want to be lonely turn off the lights and put on a horror movie; that will do the trick.”
“Listen, I’m not very good at most things in life, but the one thing I have is making chaos.”
Me with a shit memory: *has same conversation with my dorm mate 7 times each time she got more aggressive*
“I don’t know man, I was always told that common sense is like deodorant: the people who need it most don’t use it.”
“What do you mean good night??? It’s not even midnight.”
“Whelp if you need me I’ll be up for another 4 hours.”
Me: “you know how sometimes you dissociate so hard your 1 hour walk turns into 4 or 5 hours?”
Dormmate: “No????”
“Look instead of running lets just do sword fighting for cardio.”
“I one time almost gave someone a concussion once because they didn’t listen to me.”
