Let it out. go ahead. you don't deserve what's happening to you, but that doesn't mean you should stop being nice. you can find joy in spreading it to others, and while some may find it fun to bring you down, it's slowly destroying their soul. talk with the Devil. He might not give you the best options to stop this but surely he'll give the best advice. Take a shower. Listen to music, not sad music. Jam out. Read a book, take a break from your phone. Write a to-do list. doodle. Write in your bullet journal if you have one. Cry. You got this. you're going to be okay, and in a year, it won't matter as long as you learn to get yourself back together. You have a lot of people in your life who deserve you and who don't. If you started by asking the Devil for an advice you probably already know who doesn't deserve you and why. Take care.