Hanson Fans: I hope Hanson releases the info for Hanson Day soon!

Me: Yeah, but then those things cost money and I still haven’t bought my plane ticket.

fansons: WHAT! Girl, you better get on that, I booked last May…

Me: I know and I will. I am just waiting for one—

Hanson Fans: I hope Hanson releases the BTTI info soon!

Me: —ONE PAYCHECK!

Everyone: This time last year they release the dates. I WONDER WHATS TAKING SO LONG!!!

Me: It’s been less than a month. PLEASE HANSON! Just wait a minute, I got to figure-

Hanson Fans: Don’t worry, Hanson takes: Mastercard, American Express, debit, and all other major credit cards!

Me: Would they take my soul?

Fansons: Hmmm, good question, we’ll have to ask Zac but maybe that’s where Ike got the inspiration for “I got Soul”!

Hanson Fans: I’m pretty sure we sold them back in 1997. Did you miss the small print on the back of MON CD?

Me: *sighs*

HNET Newsletter: Hi, guys we’re REALLY excited to share all these upcoming projects we’ve been working on...XMAS ALBUM, NEW ALBUM, THE 20TH YEAR OF MON, NOT TO MENTION HANSON DAY, BTTI AND OTHER THINGS THAT COST A LOT OF MONEY—-

Hanson: no for real we're touring this year

2017: but you haven't called

Hanson: we'll announce dates--

mod: *creates a satire hanson blog*

fansons: *actually refrain from starting shit*

mod: *is shocked*

followers: YA CUZ U NEVER UPDATE BITCH

mod: soon, ok! Soon.