Getting there..
Hey there Tay! Itās been an insane few months and iāve really missed being online. Iām super excited about tour and I canāt believe how close we are to the start. Iām READY for it. Where to begin on what chaotic mess my life has been the last few months. When I last left I was due to meet my new specialist and try make some sense of what was happening to my insides. He was really great, but he took one look at me and told me I was clearlyĀ āsuffering miserablyā. Nobody wants to hear that. The six weeks that followed were exhausting. I had test after test, that made me feel miserable and worse. We found that my stomach empties too quickly, canāt digest the food or absorb it properly and canāt move it along because the muscles are totally unresponsive. Iāve been having pain around my heart also, which warranted a stay in hospital and an emergency referral to a cardiologist. It feels like I havenāt had much chance to just stop, breathe... itās been intense. Around the end of February, it kind of felt like too much to deal with. I felt like the constant pain wasnāt worth the trade of living. I got to a point where I couldnāt get out of bed, my boyfriend had to put me in the shower, wash my hair, feed me like a baby, all things that I used to take for granted. I asked for help and slowly, weāre making progress. Iām learning to appreciate the small achievements now, going out in my wheelchair, enjoying the beautiful sunny weather weāve got at the moment (albeit from my bed). I have a hundred hurdles to tackle, before I see you in june, but itās giving me a goal to get there. Iām not quiteĀ ābetter than I ever wasā but iām trying. Iām trying. Iāve been cheering you on still, just from the sidelines, and lovingĀ āBABEā. Iām hoping to start on costumes for my boyfriend and I to wear,Ā weāre both super excited, and definitely going to go all out!Ā Love from Becky xĀ @taylorswift
