#hand fixation

I know I need to explain myself, I can't, I feel like any defense will only make me look worse in the public eye. On the other hand if don't, it WILL be taken out of context, which also would not be incorrect but yk, lemme yap.

I've always been a physical touch kind of person, it's the result of both nature and nurture. Like, naturally if I enjoy being around someone(friendship and/or family-wise), I feel like I'm bursting at the seams with so much love and affection that I have to release it in a big fat hug. I will hug anyone and everyone, obviously there's nuance, I'll ask first and will only do it if somene's comfortable with it(consent is key babes). And that's my nature, nurture-wise, I'm latina and in my culture we're very touchy. We greet each other with hugs and kisses on the cheek, the latter is the most common if you don't know someone that well. I don't know why but out of all the physical affections, hand-holding is literally what gets me to fold. I can hug you and fall asleep in your arms and it can still be bestie vibes, we're platonic. But if you grab my hand we are literally in love.

I don't know if it's the security of it but hand-holding makes my stomach do backflips and make me scream "MARRY ME".

Don't even get me started on handshakes(formal greeting version), that is literally soooo hoooooot. T-T

I literally had a crush on a guy I never talked to for 3 months because when he introduced himself to my group he gave us all a handshake and his hands were so big and solid and ugh. I was ascending into another dimension and had zero thoughts for the next 5 minutes. WHY ME?!?!?!? I wish I had a normal fixation like maybe abs, but if you pull me by the hand in a farmers market, you're coming home with me.