#halp lmao

September 12th, 2019

Okay, now on a more serious note, I want to talk about the very last ‘dream’ i had last night. I put dream in quotes because to be honest i’m doubting it was a real dream, or like… an astral experience that happened through a dream? I’ll try to be specific- though admittedly the first part of the dream issss embarrassing. Don’t blame me for being super brief on that.

So it starts with. Uh. Well. The dream had me and there was this- person. I don’t know who they are exactly but I knew they weren’t human. I never got a look at them though. Well, to put in a way a mutual described it. We banged.

(An extra note, this is like the second time? And I feel like it’s the same? If it happens a third I’m hella suspect for real.)

But what’s new that happened totally threw me for a loop, and admittedly I got scared. It was like the scene changed? Or became more focused. It was my room. My bed. Everything looked literally normal. I was resting on my stomach, and then I roll. Suddenly it feels like I’ve flung around, and I’m standing in my room- but everything is in a deep tint of red and immediately I’m just feeling this fear, and on instinct almost I jump back to get out of there.

When I do I’m laying on my back, and while I didn’t realize I was dreaming, it would have been almost impossible too for the simple fact that everything looked the same as if I was just laying in my bed in real time.

But what happens is that I go to raise my left hand and it’s not- right. Literally the four fingers are just missing, and the palm fades into nothing, I can see through my thumb into the bone. But it looks like these blue almost lightening energy is flowing through it? I’m still scared from going to the red place, and seeing that didn’t help. I try calling for help but no one comes. It’s actually hard sometimes to keep my eyes open and stare at my hand.

The only thing that snapped me out of it was hearing the familiar sounds of my mom footsteps upstairs (her room is directly above mine so hearing her feet is normal) and it’s like I’ve been snapped back into my real body. But like? Everything is still the same? The sound even transitioned perfectly from ‘dream’ to real world, my blanket is in the same exact position over my body. The only thing that’s different is that both of my arms are tucked against my sides. I pull them up and literally the same hand, the left one? It’s HEAVY, buzzing and had this crinkling feeling like static, when I initially rubbed it, it felt like a burn was spreading almost.

I don’t know what the heck is going on. I don’t know if something is trying to help or hurt me. Or if it’s just my brain doing it’s ‘info sifting’ thing in a dream since I’m getting back into occult practice. Or, even if hell, my astral body is attempting its own thing without me fully conscious of it.

1. SAW escape room

2. Far Cry 5 tattoo

3. Family Portrait Commission from one of my favorite artists

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