You had gone through a rehearsal the night before, something Eligres was not permitted to attend since he was holding vigil the entire night, which was customary. The ceremony began at noon. The royal couple entered the great hall, as expected, and ascended the dais arm in arm, draped in their fineries. They stood in front of their thrones and addressed the hall. You took your place on the queen's side of the dais, hoping Eligres would make good on his promise.

"Good people," The king began. "Today we are gathered to honor a great hero of the kingdom. A man who went to great lengths to protect the queen and heir, putting himself in mortal peril. Further, he went beyond the call of duty to bring a villain to justice and rid the kingdom of their ongoing evils. For these reasons, he has earned the right to stand with the most honorable individuals this country has to offer, the order of the knighthood." He gestured toward the door, which was closed after their entry. "We call Eligres, the Duke of Tritis, to stand before us."

The doors opened, and there he stood, a huge black dragon with large leathery wings folded against his back and glittering scales. He almost didn't fit through the double doors, but after carefully maneuvering his wings through the frame, he managed to get all of himself inside the great hall. There was plenty of room for him to move around in the great hall itself, save for the load-bearing support columns, but as long as he steered clear of those, he was able to move around relatively freely. He walked on all fours lumbering toward the dais, his sharp claws clacking against the stone of the floor. His long neck slithered to and fro as he moved, and his even longer tail snaked out behind him. He reached the foot of the dais and stopped, holding his head up high, towering over the royal couple even on the raised platform.

There were loud whispers like hissing serpents in every corner of the room, full of shock and astonishment. The king and queen even seemed quite startled, but they said nothing about it. You smiled and released a breath.

"Duke Eligres of Tritis," The king said, pulling out a sword from a sheath on his hip. "Do you swear to uphold the virtues of the station of a knight?"

"I do," He replied, his cavernously deep voice reverberating around the room.

"Do you swear to defend the crown and kingdom from any threat, assault, or attack?"

"I do."

"Do you vow to be a weapon of the crown in times of war, a protector of the people in times of peace, and a provider to the suffering in times of need?"

"I do."

"By the king's will, by will of the queen, and under the watchful gaze of the nation, I name you Sir Eligres, knight of the realm," The king said, using the sword to tap both of Eligres' wide shoulders. He then sheathed the sword, removed it from his belt, and handed it to Eligres. In Eligres' large paw, it looked more like a toothpick. "Let it be known that my kingdom is now the Kingdom of the Dragon. May all who turn their eyes to us see a the virtues of a dragon, those of strength, bounty, and longevity."

Eligres turned and sat on his haunches, holding the sword up in his paw. Behind him, a large flag was unfurled, showing a black dragon holding a sword in his right paw, just as Eligres was doing. Whether this had been choreographed or not, it certainly had an affect on the crowd: there were oohs and ahhs and rousing applause.

The banquet came next, during which Eligres stayed a dragon. He was given his own table by himself which was piled high with delicacies, none of which he touched. Toast after toast were made in his and the crown's name, and while he couldn't exactly lift a goblet, he was given an entire bottle of wine with which to toast. He was expected to give a speech during the dinner, and it was clear he was not accustomed to public speaking, but you thought he did well considering how discomfited he was.

"There has been much talk and speculation about my origins in the recent weeks," Eligres began. "It is true that my father, a unscrupulous dragon, came and threatened to attack the kingdom and its people if it was not given a virginal sacrifice. It is true my mother was that sacrifice, offered against her will with no recourse or means of protecting herself. It is true that my uncle betrayed the crown, the kingdom, and his own family in countless terrible ways. I, however, am not covetous like my father. I am not defenseless like my mother. I am not scheming like my uncle. We are not always the product of our blood or environment, but instead the product of our choices. I choose to be a defender of my homeland. I choose to be a shield for its people. I choose to give my service to its king. I hereby vow with all of you as my witnesses that I give myself, all that I am, elf and dragon, to you, to the kingdom, and to the crown. Let us all walk together toward a future of courage, abundance, and prosperity."

There was much cheering and applause, and Eligres bowed his large head, his neck arching. You watched him with pride in your heart.

After the banquet, the ball was held in the great hall with music and dancing and nobles mingling. Still, he kept his dragon form, though you could tell he was becoming more and more wildly uncomfortable. Other nobles with shinier backbones dared to approach Eligres and engage him in conversation, and while he indulged them out of courtesy, you could tell he would rather be anywhere else by this point.

It was appropriate that Eligres receive acclaim for what he had done for the kingdom, of course; he deserved all honors for his contribution, but everything left a sour taste in your mouth. Just a month ago, these people were vilifying him and calling for his execution, and now they were making toasts to him and celebrating him as a hero while calling him a monster behind their hands. He clearly didn't want to be there, among all these people who didn't care about him. It was only his promise to you that kept him in place, suffering these fools in silence. He had earned acknowledgement.

After some time, you approached him.

"I was beginning to worry you wouldn't speak to me at all tonight," He said as you came close.

"Congratulations, Duke Tritis," You said, curtsying.

Even in his dragon form, you could tell from his face he disliked that immensely; you could have sworn you heard a groan of discomfort under his breath.

"We're in public, and you're a higher rank than I," You reminded him. "It would be impertinent of me not to acknowledge that, especially with so many eyes on us."

"I suppose that's true," He said begrudgingly. "I still don't like it."

"Even so," You said. "You're doing well. I'm proud of you for sticking it out this long; I expected you to change back by now, at least for the banquet. Aren't you hungry? You didn't eat anything."

"Forget that. Am I forgiven?" He asked plaintively. "That's all I care about. I can think of food later."

You smiled a little. "Yes. You've granted my request and gone beyond it. I think we can call this punishment enough."

He breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you. And for what it's worth… I truly am sorry. For everything."

"I know," You said to him. "You're forgiven. But that doesn't mean I trust you."

"No, I know," He conceded. "And you're right not to. It wasn't enough that I didn't believe you, but I was also a bastard to you. If it takes the rest of my life, I'll make it up to you."

"You don't have that long," You reminded him.

"Right," He said softly. "If I might suggest… I've discovered the location of Leina's grave. I was planning to take you there myself once your time as lady-in-waiting has expired, since Dunmountain is several weeks away and I don't know if the queen will give you leave for that long. Could… could I possibly have until then? I won't ask for more than that."

"You're not in a position to make requests," You told him sardonically.

"I know. But this was a promise I made to you before… well, before. It's important to me to see it through, and I want to do right by you. You deserve that."

"I understand," You said. "Very well. This is the only compromise you'll get, you understand?"

"Yes, of course, I hear you loud and clear." He glanced out at the people spinning on the dance floor and sighed. "I'd invite you to dance, but I fear I may take out half of the nobility with my tail if I were to go out there."

You laughed. "Perhaps another time."

"Would there ever be another time?" He asked morosely, still looking out over the crowd. You sobered and followed his gaze. You didn't answer the question.

"I must return to my post," You told him.

"Ah, yes," He replied, sounding sad. "Of course. Be well."

"And you," You said, and went back to the queen.

A week and a half passed, and you went about your duties as normal. The queen was still having early pregnancy symptoms, and you and the other ladies took turns taking care of her. The king visited just as often as he did when he believed her ill, bringing gifts and encouraging her to eat, doting and affectionate and far removed from the stoic, stern image you'd had of him as a king. Every other moment, he was a righteous, powerful leader who commanded the respect and adoration of his people, but when he was with his wife, he was just a happy man in love. Watching them together made you wistful and full of regret.

Would you ever know that kind of love? You'd had a single, momentary taste of it and it made you ravenous for more, even if you couldn't allow yourself to touch it. You knew you had to be strict and stick to your convictions: Eligres wouldn't learn anything from this if you didn't. Neither would you, you knew that… but… you felt crushed under the promise of what could have been had this misunderstanding never happened. You and Eligres might have been planning your wedding by now. You could both have been happy.

You were shocked to learn that Eligres had agreed to give an interview to the very same news outlet that had exposed him just months before and had caused the misunderstanding that had divided the two of you. They, of course, had no idea that you were not the one who leaked the information, as the person that did was someone from the duchy the former duke had hired to go to the press using your name. The publication had checked with the castle and confirmed that there was a lady-in-waiting with your name close to both the queen and the current duke, and that was confirmation enough for them that the information was credible.

Eligres decided to set the record straight, since the publication was available to every person who could afford a copy—and could read—so there were many, many people who were not privy to the gossip of the nobility and therefore still unaware of the truth. Some people still believed you had outed the duke's lineage publicly to hurt him and maliciously implicated him in the treasonous plot to kill the queen and heir, and called for your immediate imprisonment. Eligres felt it important to strike such misapprehensions from the public record.

He was, at one point, asked about the relationship between the two of you by his interviewer. His answer was rather candid:

"I love her dearly." He responded. "She's my intended. She was, I mean. I was a fool to ever have doubted her, and ever more the fool to leave her behind. Though I once unwisely questioned her intentions, I now know her heart well enough to say with the utmost certainty that she would never have done anything so cruel. She is the one person on this earth I trust with my entire being and I shall never betray her trust again, for as long as I live. I say this in the belief that this record will serve as my promise, and that I shall be held to account for my transgressions. My hope is that I have not yet squandered the precious second chance that was afforded to me, and I shall endeavor to earn back the trust I have broken. That is all I want."

You blushed to read such words. You knew he valued you quite highly, but it was always strange and a little exhilarating to hear how much. You also understood that this interview was a lot for him. He'd spent his entire existence dodging notoriety and making himself as inconspicuous as possible, keeping his life and doings secret, so you realized this was a huge sacrifice for him. He was giving up his privacy and personal peace to clear your name. That did count for something and you were grateful. It wasn't enough to completely mend the bond between you, but it was a solid foundation upon which to build. You decided to stop shutting him out and gave him permission to see you in a casual way, provided he maintained decorum.

After giving him the go-ahead, Eligres made more of an effort to spend time with you the way he had always done before. He visited you at mealtimes when you weren't with the queen and spoke to you of this and that, keeping you appraised of his doings and asking you about yours and your opinions on things. He escorted you when you went to and fro on errands for Her Majesty as if he was your personal hired man. He seemed to know exactly when you left the queen's presence, almost as if he was hovering anxiously nearby. You asked him several times if he didn't have better things to do, and he replied with a laugh and said, "nothing as important."

He was careful, though: he didn't touch you or ask you to touch him, even though you were sure he was starving for contact. He was more formal in his manner, more distant in his speech, careful not to cross any boundaries. It reminded you of the months after he had confessed his feelings and it made you feel both nostalgic and sad. You often caught him looking at you with a mournful, wistful gaze, though he quickly shifted his face to a more neutral expression when you caught him staring. You didn't acknowledge it outwardly, but you understood the feeling.

Time passed. Before you knew it, Duchess Dawson notified the queen that she was ready to step back into her role as lady-in-waiting, and it was time for you to step down. The news made you sad, and Eligres anxious. Plans were made to travel to Dunmountain to visit Leina's grave and perhaps meet with her family, if they were agreeable.

Every thought in your head was bittersweet. You were leaving the service of the queen, who had become an ally, if not a friend, in the year you'd known her. You'd likely miss the birth of her child, since you'd no doubt be back in the marquisate when it happened. Your relationship with Eligres was on unsteady ground, and you weren't sure if it could ever be repaired, though Eligres was making every effort to do so. Leina, the only mother you'd ever known, was gone and you were going to pay your respects, hoping she knew how much you loved her wherever her spirit resided. Even the knowledge that you had your own marquisate was dampened by the fact that your own parents' deaths was the catalyst for obtaining it. The money, the power, the prestige—all of it was built on the foundation of your own personal tragedy. It seemed no direction held a single happy thought for you.

The day before you were due to depart with Eligres, you had your last audience with the queen. It was held in her bedroom as she was still taken with morning sickness, and she was surrounded by her ladies, including Duchess Dawson, who smiled warmly at you.

"So you're leaving tomorrow," The queen said as you approached.

"I'm afraid so," You said, curtsying.

"I'll be sad to see you go," She replied. "Life in the castle has been… interesting since you arrived."

"Perhaps it's for the better that I leave, then," You joked. Queen Malia smiled.

"It's hard not to think of you as my good luck charm," She continued. "It was only after you came here that I finally conceived, and then you thwarted an attempt on my life, one that likely would have been successful otherwise. I'm almost loathe to release you."

You smiled at her. "Soon you won't have any time to think of me, Your Majesty. The little one will keep you so busy that you'll hardly notice me gone."

"I don't think that's true," She said, still smiling, though it had become somber. "I hope that you will return to the castle some day. As my friend."

Your smile widened. "You need only call, Your Majesty."

She reached out a hand for yours and you took it. Her smile faded.

"Listen," She said. "I know Eligres has transgressed against you. I agree that he deserves punishment for that… but… you must understand. He has been betrayed by almost every person who's ever known who he truly is. He's been raised to be suspicious of everyone, to question their intentions, to hold no one close for fear of potential treachery. I'm certain that his feelings for you are deep and sincere, but I'm just as certain he was always asking himself what you really wanted from him. If your affection for him was real or if you had some ulterior motives. Then suddenly he is confronted with evidence that the first person in whom he had placed his trust had turned on him as soon as it suited her to do so. Can you imagine how devastated he would have been? He had no choice but to accept it as truth at that moment, even if it didn't make rational sense. Once he had confirmation you were using him, when his worst suspicions were confirmed, he snapped and lashed out."

You nodded soberly. "I do understand that, and I've taken it into account."

"It doesn't absolve him from all his sins… he did say some unforgivable things to you… but imagine yourself in his shoes. Imagine he saved you from that terrible family and gained your trust only to sell you into slavery and steal your lands for himself. Would you not harbor animosity toward him?"

"I expect so," You conceded.

The queen sighed. "I know I'm biased in his favor. He's my nephew and the only son of my beloved sister, and it's natural for me to want to defend him, so I cannot advise you of what to do with any objectivity. The only thing I can tell you is that, in all the time I've known him, he has never made the same mistake twice. And that he loves you."

After a moment, you nodded. "I understand, Your Majesty."

The journey to Dunmountain was long and mostly pleasant. Eligres had given you your own horse—a gift for your appointment ceremony—and horse riding had been part of your inheritor lessons, but you were unaccustomed to riding and could only do so for a couple hours at a time, even at a leisurely pace. Eligres rode next to you, subtly instructing you about how to hold the reins and how to lead the horse without commands. When not riding on the horse, however, you spent your time in the carriage, surrounded by guards.

Eligres often joined you, talking pleasantly and sharing meals with you. At night when you couldn't find lodging, the soldiers camped under the stars while you slept in the carriage. Eligres stationed himself outside the door of the carriage and was seemingly capable of sleeping while sitting, as you often opened the doors to get fresh air in the night and found him resting against the carriage wheels. He'd snort awake when he felt the movement and asking if you needed anything. Sometimes when you weren't feeling sleepy, you'd sit up with him in the dark and quiet, and talk. It felt like anything you told him under the light of the moon was safe and sacred. Perhaps he felt that way, too, because he was vastly more candid than he'd ever been in the past.

He opened up about his childhood, something he hadn't done before: he'd mentioned it in passing a few times when asked but had always steered the conversation away from it when the questions became too probing. He told you how isolated he was, how he grew up terrified of himself, his mother's overpowering protectiveness, horrible stories about the former duke's abuses, and how unprepared he felt when he took control of the duchy, since he had never been given inheritor lessons and had to learn on the job. He seemed embarrassed by most of what he told you and avoided your eye, looking mostly at the ground, as if he were ashamed of his experiences. He told you he felt like a coward for hiding in the capital to avoid his uncle, but he had grown up afraid of him and couldn't shake the impulse to defer to him, even though he was no longer in power. You listened, not attempting to contradict him when he called himself names. You didn't assuage his self-esteem or suggest advice, as it seemed that wasn't what he wanted, but being what for him what he wanted the most: someone in which he could confide.

In turn, he asked you about your experiences at the manor. He asked about Leina and if you had any happy memories from your childhood to draw from. You could only think of one or two, and you told him about them. He wondered why you weren't angrier or more suspicious of people like he was, how you managed to grow up kind and empathetic, and you just shrugged and said you weren't sure.

Dunmountain appeared on the horizon on the fifth day of the third week, much to your relief. You were hoping that you could take some time to recover from the trip before heading back, as the carriage had played havoc on your backside. Still, you didn't complain: at least you hadn't spent the entire trip on the back of a horse, like the men had. Entrance to the city was easy, as if they were expecting your party beforehand. Eligres had a manor in the city, upkept by a skeleton crew, where you would be staying.

Seraina, who had traveled most of the way on the driver's box, helped you into the manor and get settled in a guestroom. After some time, Eligres came to find you.

"Lunch will be ready soon," He said. "I thought we might take today to rest and go out to the cemetery tomorrow. I've been told that Leina's family plot is somewhere in the center of the field, so it may take time to find it."

"I understand," You said. "Did you send the letter I wrote to Leina's family?"

"Yes," He replied. "I sent a messenger the moment we entered the city. With any luck, we should receive a response soon."

"They may not want to see me," You said morosely. "Maybe they blame me for her death."

He tilted his head and frowned in confusion. "It was hardly your fault. Why would they blame you?"

You shrugged. "I don't know. Allia always found ways to blame me when bad things happened, so I guess I just expect it from everyone."

Eligres's eyes fell and he scowled at himself. "I seem to have perpetuated that unfortunate disposition. I…" He stopped and cleared his throat. "No, perhaps now is not the time for another superficial apology, though I would say it a million times if that's what it takes. Instead, could I interest you in a tour of the grounds? Though this is not my main residence, it is my home while in the city, so it would be negligent of me if I didn't welcome you properly."

You smiled. "Certainly."

The manor itself was much smaller than the count's had been, as it wasn't on a sprawling estate, but it was lovely. It had only a large main building four floors high with an additional attic and cellar, and was surrounded by a beautiful garden. It was charming and inviting and the exact opposite of where you'd grown up, which had always felt cold and suffocating. This had been a summer estate that Eligres and his mother escaped to on the rare occasion the former duke gave them permission to leave the main estate, and it was one of the few places where Eligres had good memories.

He showed you the places where he would hide after swiping sweets from the kitchen and his childhood bedroom. He took you to an office where his grandfather had worked, a place he often explored when he was bored. He showed you a painting of his mother, painted shortly before her death. Perhaps it was because of her years with a dragon, but she had an intensely foreboding expression, haughty and severe. He assured you that, while she was often overbearing and strict, she was a loving mother in her own way. He knew she was slightly delusional and that her fixation on him was unhealthy for them both, but he never had a reason to doubt that she loved him.

"Do you remember much about her?" You asked him.

"Some," He replied sadly, staring at the painting. "She died when I was so young that most of my memories are fading. I find myself dreading the day when I may not remember her at all. I've already lost the memory of what her voice sounded like."

"That must pain you," You remarked.

His eyes fell from the painting and looked at the floor. "Even more… I worry about it happening again. That after tomorrow, I'll never see you again and forget the sound of your voice."

You felt cold and sad. "You'll likely still see me every once in a while," You said. "I'm sure I'll be invited to any number of events at the castle, now that I'm head of a marquisate."

"Of course," He conceded. "But never again will I hear you calling my name. I don't want to forget what that sounds like. It's the sweetest sound in the world."

You took a breath and released it slowly. "Eligres."

He looked up, his expression raw.

"I can't say for certain what will happen tomorrow," You said. "You've done your best to make up for your wrongdoings, and I recognize that. I… I still don't know my feelings. I don't know if my trust in you can ever be repaired."

He sighed heavily. "Is there no chance for us, then? Not even to be friends?"

"I don't know," You told him. "But I promise. I'll give you a definitive answer tomorrow, one way or the other. I won't keep stringing you along with false hope."

"I almost wish you would," He said. "At least that way, I could still lie to myself that we have some sort of relationship. The prospect of being strangers again…" He shook his head and didn't continue.

You sort of understood what he meant. "You have to promise me, in turn," You said to him. "I remember what you said before you left to retrieve your uncle, about never coming back. You have to promise you won't leave or do something foolish. You have duties that you cannot abandon, and I will not have you lay your absence, either by abdication or death, at my feet. I don't want to see you ridiculed and derided as a deserter, nor would I be pleased with your taking matters into your own hands. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

He nodded. "I do."

"It may well be my last request of you," You said. "Will you promise me?"

"Indeed. I am powerless to refuse you," He replied with a small smile. "I promise."

The next morning, the two of you set off alone for the cemetery. It took some time—most of the morning, in fact—as the cemetery ground were large, but eventually you found the communal plot for Leina's family. You stood before it and bowed your head, praying.

"Was she religious?" Eligres asked you.

"Not as such," You said, your eyes still closed. "She did observe holy days and had a patron god, but I wouldn't say she was devout."

"What was she like?"

"Stern but kind. She looked after me like her own child, but she never called herself my mother. She didn't want me to see her as a replacement for my own mother, who she said was a gentle, stoic woman who loved me more than life. Despite that, if you were to ask me to imagine a mother, I can only see Leina. I don't want to disrespect my birth mother, but I can't help it. I don't even remember her. From the first moment of my recall, it was Leina who was there."

"You were but ten years old when she was sent away, correct?" He asked.

"Yes," You replied. "She was sent away with no cause given other than I was too old for a personal nanny, but I suspect it was Allia's doing. She couldn't stand the fact that there was someone who afforded me comfort. She was only happy when I was squirming and upset."

"How did you cope with her loss?"

"I didn't at first," You said. "I was inconsolable for the first month. It earned me several beatings, but I couldn't help it. Eventually I just went numb and worked like a machine, not thinking about anything. Honestly, I don't think I've ever really been given the chance to grieve."

"You have a chance now," He said. "There's no one to admonish you for crying here."

"That's true," You agreed. Tears gathered in your eyes.

"Why don't you try talking to her?" Eligres suggested gently, laying a hand softly on your back. "I'll take a step back and give you some privacy."

You nodded, and he retreated several paces back and turned around, clasping his hands behind his back. You stepped forward and tried your best to greet Leina through your tears.

"Hello, Leina," You began shakily. "I… I came all this way to find you. I wanted to know if you were happy and that you were living well, but I was too late. I hope you're not angry that I waited so long." You sniffed and wiped your face, though that did little to dry your eyes. "You'll never believe it, but I'm a marchioness. I have my own territory. I became a lady-in-waiting and I'll never want for money ever again. I could have given you a wonderful life, if I had made it in time. I'm sorry I'm so late. Please forgive me."

You knelt down in front of the memorial stone with the family name on it and began clearing away the vines that covered it.

"I'm doing well now," You told her. "I will be taking over my territory soon and begin acting as head. I'm nervous, but I think I can do it. I hope you'll be proud of me, when the time comes." You traced your fingers absently over the letters of the names, and then paused, perplexed. "Huh… that's strange."

"What is?" Eligres asked. He was still turned away from you, but you assumed his sharp elf-and-dragon ears had heard everything you'd said.

"Leina's name isn't here."

Eligres turned and came to kneel next to you, frowning.

"You're right," He said. "How odd. Did we get it wrong?"

"No, this is her family's name," You said. "Perhaps there's a second memorial stone?"

"I thought I was losing my mind when I read the letter, but it is you, isn't it?" You heard a creaky voice say from beyond where you knelt. "How far you've come, little one."

You turned and saw a stout woman standing where the row crossed into another row, several feet away. She had sandy hair, a similar colored beard, and was half your height. Her hair was more grey than you remembered, but you would have recognized that face anywhere.

You stood slowly and your jaw dropped in shock.

"…Leina?"

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My Masterlist

i realized i never posted this; my half-dragon for a dragons of the stormwreck isle game. i am a coward and did not go full reptile with her but wanted to have something a bit dragon-y considering the subject matter.

in my mind, although to others she is obviously more man than dragon, and certainly more so than the average half-dragon, she herself sees herself as indistinguishable from her mother, who is a white dragon. she has spent her entire life in the northern part of faerun, in the frozen Regheld Glacier, mostly without contact with anyone except her mom.