#hale

bisexual disaster stiles stilinski who’s incredibly sore from getting railed in the shower this morning by derek hale but still manages to fuck his girlfriend into his mattress until she’s screaming his name

bisexual disaster stiles stilinski who frequents both gay and straight bars and often gets the two confused when he’s drunk enough, leading to disgusted lesbians scoffing at him in the former and angry straight guys shoving him to the ground in the latter

bisexual disaster stiles stilinski who refuses to stop flirting with his friends in front of people, no matter how many times it sends mixed signals about his relationship status

bisexual disaster stiles stilinski who is absolutely not out at work, which leads to a few scandalized whispers rippling through the office when a buff dude in a black camaro picked him up one day and kissed him on the cheek when he got into the car

bisexual disaster stiles stilinski who frequently forgets the anatomy of whoever he’s hooking up with, leading to some very confusing moves, like pressing on a guy’s lower stomach when he’s fucking them in missionary (you’re not even remotely near their stomach, dog) or trying to give a straight girl a rim job (straight guys don’t do that, now you’ve scared her, stiles)

bisexual disaster stiles stilinski who gives scott an aneurysm trying to keep track of who he’s fucking and who he’s just friends with once he comes out to him

bisexual disaster stiles stilinski who’s dad secretly wishes he’ll settle down with a nice, stoic man that can calm his son down a bit but would never tell him that

bisexual disaster stiles stilinski who realized he liked girls in preschool but didn’t realize he liked guys until he was sixteen, when he clicked on the wrong porn category and still ended up cumming all over his fist to a video of a guy that looked kind of like him getting pounded in the ass by a dude twice as big as him

bisexual disaster stiles stilinski who’s so much of a switch it gives his partners whiplash; one night he’s whimpering to be touched and saying he’ll be a good boy, the next he’s shoving them against a wall and demanding they suck his cock like a good little slut

bisexual disaster stiles stilinski who got passed around friend groups in college like a venereal disease, because he’d fuck, (or be fucked by), anything with a pulse and enthusiastic consent

bisexual disaster stiles stilinski who’s a huge fan of bubble baths after sex so his bathroom looks like a lush stockroom and he often sends hookups home with bath bomb goodie bags

bisexual disaster stiles stilinski who adjusts his drink of choice to whoever he’s drinking with; he’s equally happy to crush miller lites, shoot tequila, or sip daiquiris

bisexual disaster stiles stilinski who at the peak of his slutty era in his early twenties had seven, count ‘em, (7) different dating apps on his phone, three where he said he was gay, three where he said he was straight and one where he actually said he was bi, that he only used for threesomes

bisexual disaster stiles stilinski who swears he’s done with derek hale every other month but somehow always ends up face down, ass up on derek’s bed, getting pounded until he can’t walk the next day

bisexual disaster stiles stilinski who LOVES to cum on his girlfriend’s tits and has a private folder on his computer full of pictures of her beautiful tits dripping in his cum that he frequently jacks off to when he can’t be near her

bisexual disaster stiles stilinski that’s an ass man no matter the gender and gets mesmerized by it whenever he’s giving backshots

bisexual disaster stiles stilinski whose weakness is lip biting and will get completely rock-hard in his pants if you bite his lip while kissing him, not matter how public of an area you’re in and no matter how old he gets

bisexual disaster stiles stilinski who has participated in every position in an eiffel tower at least twice, but prefers to be in the middle

bisexual disaster stiles stilinski who absolutely has a size kink and went on a summer-long quest one year to find the biggest cock he could and take all of it (it was nine inches and he limped for three days but he swears it was worth it)

bisexual disaster stiles stilinski who’s adhd lets him hyperfocus on eating a girl out, meaning he doesn’t let up until she’s writhing and screaming, with her cum dripping down his chin

bisexual disaster stiles stilinski who would NEVER cheat but would absolutely be over, (or under), someone else within six hours of a breakup

bisexual disaster stiles stilinski who refuses to wear anything but an incredibly tight pair of boxer briefs whenever he’s home with his boyfriend

bisexual disaster stiles stilinski who puts the fear of god into scott everytime he introduces stiles to one of his work friends (chances are, stiles WILL end up sleeping with them)

bisexual disaster stiles stilinski who is the least jealous person on the planet and loves to share his partner with whoever they feel like fucking (and join in most of the time)

bisexual disaster stiles stilinski who has a polaroid picture of derek’s cock that he keeps locked in his gun safe and only brings out on special occasions (when he can’t finish to whatever porn he’s watching)