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Imagine all the people living life in peace

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Big fan of the idea that centaurs Shane and Ilya are a devastating duo when it comes to chirping players they don’t like. Some homophobe from Toronto says their marriage isn’t real, so Shane gives a scathing review of faults the player didn’t even know he had, while Ilya is like this is why your wife left you and you can only see your kids every other weekend and some holidays. Bet last Christmas was lonely, huh? The rest of the centaurs are like ???? how tf do you even know that??? Troy Barrett sheds a single tear of joy knowing that he never has to play against them again. Next time they play Toronto that player won’t look them in the eye.
ilya is definitely anya’s favorite, no doubt, if he’s at home she’s glued to his side, following him everywhere like his little shadow, but when it comes to walks? she wants shane, cus shane is always running and she loves to run. sometimes he even takes her on hikes and she goes absolutely crazy for it. she’s an adventurous girl for sure. and ilya walks is really just walk and he thinks anya likes to stop and smell everything around. so one day ilya’s going to take her for a walk. he puts her leash on and anya just takes it right out of his hand with her mouth, walks over to shane’s feet, drops it and lets out a little bark and ilya just stands there with his hands on his chest “i can’t believe this betrayal” and shane is cackling so hard he can barely breathe as he picks up the leash and goes “well i guess i’m the official walker now, let’s go girl” and just walks out the door with anya wagging her tail while ilya stands there questioning all his life choices
Walnut shells cut in half.

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💪 💦
ilya version
I think stiles aggresion towards derek in the first season is him being stressed out by everything. Suddenly being in the world of werewolves, having to deal with Scott being a dick. Attacking stiles (like in his room when hes trying to tell scott what he is. In the locker rooms when scott tried to kill him, scott raising his voice to him and getting irritated when stiles tries to help. Scott choosing allison over everything even common sense.) Leaving stiles to take care of everything even trying to find the alpha on his own.
Plus his sudden attraction to derek. When he was so use to being in love with lydia but suddenly hes infactuated with derek becoming obsessive, consumed by the mans whole being and he doesnt know how to process all of it at once so he lashes out at derek becuase hes confused romantically/sexually and stressed out by the current situation so lashing out at derek and trying to convince himself hes scared of him is easy for him and helps to relieve some of the tension of the whole situation
Harris has the idea to make the centaurs try Pilates for a video. Everyone is immediately humbled and going through hell apart from Shane who is having the time of his life.
what if shane started doing yoga to increase his flexibility because after his first time with ilya his hip flexors hurt more than anything else. but he loooooved getting folded in half like that so much (and the look that ilya always gets when they’re pressed that much closer to each other) that he decided he just needed to get better at being bendy and yoga seemed like a good way to do that. so he asked both the goalie AND the physical therapist for the metros on ways to improve flexibility, especially in his hips, but then he had to come up with a reason why he was asking on the spot bc he obviously couldn’t just tell them it was so he could be better at bottoming for his arch fucking rival and it’s not like he was going to change positions on the ice and start playing goalie, so he panicked and made up something about bad hips running in his dad’s family and he didn’t want to have to get a hip replaced in his late 30s so he was trying to get ahead of it.
so the pt gives him some specific stretches to do (some of which will also improve his already impressive back arch) but also recommends he take up yoga, and shane rolls his eyes about it later in his car (because doing it in front of the pt would be rude) but then he figures “what the hell, can’t hurt to try” and finds that he actually really likes it. it makes his brain calm down a bit, it’s not totally quiet up there but it feels more like a manageable trickle of thoughts instead of the uncontrollable tsunami that his brain usually feels like. it’s nice, he can focus on the stretch of his muscles and the way that the constant vice-like pressure in his chest loosens a bit. plus, if it will make his hookups with ilya even better, it’s gotta be worth it.
of course, ilya has no idea that shane took up yoga essentially for him, and shane’s never going to tell him because he knows ilya will tease him about it for the rest of their lives. but every time that ilya pushes his knees up to his chest when they’re getting down and dirty he gets a little spark of satisfaction and accomplishment in his chest knowing that he did this for them, he put in the work to make these moments even better. he’ll put up with ilya’s chirps about how boring he is when he does his yoga because he knows it’s so worth it.
After the foundation is established and before they're outed, Shane and Ilya go viral on hockey twitter.
It's All Stars and a camera catches them sitting together on the bench during the skills competition, leaning in and whispering to each other, clearly trying to be sneaky. They're both kind of smiling, looking like they're trying not to laugh. Then Ilya says something that makes Shane crack up and have to hide his face while he's trying to pull himself together. This moment gets giffed and everyone is dying to know what made the famously cool and collected Shane Hollander laugh like that.
Shane and Ilya don't comment on this incident despite being asked repeatedly and after they're outed, everyone assumes they were just flirting. They readily let that be the story, because they're not about to admit they were actually talking major shit about the other players.

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~ the prettiest star 💫~
inspired by this beautiful frame from the good omens s2 opening title sequence
That 'making a deal with an elf and giving up your first born' thing with the human going 'Okay. When do we start?' but it's Sterek.
Alpha Derek who protects the woods and makes deals with the townspeople to protect them in exchange for their firstborn joining his pack and thus joining the protection of the town. It's how he got Boyd, Erica and Isaac (loophole of the firstborn already being dead) to be his Betas.
When Stiles comes to him, Derek is a little confused because Stiles is definitely too young to have a kid old enough to join the pack. But it's okay. Derek can be patient. He can tell Stiles is genuinely concerned for the town. But when the deal is truck...
Stiles: Okay, when do we start
Derek, confused: Start with what?
Stiles: I just promised you my firstborn. I don't have one yet. These take like nine months to be done. So we should start
Derek, even more confused: We should start
Derek, appalled: I would never force myself onto anyone--
Stiles, very deliberately looking Derek up and down: No force needed. Well, wouldn't mind a little manhandling
Derek, flustered for the first time in his life: ...
David Hollander is definitely the type of man to randomly put on a song and pull his wife up to dance with him, especially if she’s stressing about something, or worrying, or upset, or just because. She will usually lightly protest, honey, I need to finish this email, but she’ll happily go along nonetheless.
David does it for the first time in front of Ilya when the boys are visiting and Shane and Yuna are planning (arguing) about something new brand deal.
He puts a song on the record player (Yuna has given up teaching him the Alexa), and he takes Yuna’s hand without a word. She protests that they need to plan out these contract terms and how his son is being difficult about it.
Shane starts to protest at that, but doesn’t get far until Ilya pulls him up to dance, too. A very embarrassed Shane goes willingly. He’s watched his father do this for years but never thought he would be pulled up to dance one day. From the fond looks from his parents, they probably didn’t either.
Shane meets Ilya’s smile with a half-hearted glare, but can’t deny swaying to the music in his boyfriend’s arms feels much better than stressing about a brand deal. Ilya makes a note to ask David for anymore tips and tricks.
They met up at Concerts! Museums! Galleries!
(Royal Albert Hall…)
not today...

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Yuna is on set with Shane and Ilya when the photographer’s assistant tells her they’re ready to begin. She turns to tell Shane and Ilya, but they’re not there. She goes to the dressing room, and the two are not there either. She runs around the set, trying to find them, but they’re no where to be found. She tries calling them but gets no answer. She decides to go outside because they’re definitely not in the building. She walks outside to the back of the building, and the sight makes her heart leap. Ilya has his back against the building,mand Shane is standing in front of him. Ilya’s arms are wrapped around Shane while Shane gestures to the ‘No Smoking’ sign above Ilya’s head. They’re both laughing. Ilya leans in to press his face in Shane’s neck as the two giggle. Yuna snaps a quick photo of them before going back to momager mode and telling them they have work to do. After the shoot, she sends the picture to them. Ilya posts the photo with the caption ‘This isn’t the first time Shane has cornered me in No Smoking areas’ and Shane comments ‘You liked it both times’ and the internet is abuzz with new Hollanov lore.
idk why people photoshopped the crying cat meme on this pic when the unedited version is so powerful