Hakami – “How That Feels”

New single by Copenhagen-based Hip Hop artist Hakami titled “How That Feels“.

Ultra Pets AU: Kartana

YOU RUDE FUCK MAKIN ME WRITE ANGST

well FINE HERE YOU GO SOME PIPING HOT HAKAMI PAIN COMIN RIGHT UP

the way you said ‘i love you’, number 26: broken, as you clutch the sleeve of my jacket and beg me not to leave

It shouldn’t be sunny outside. Bright light slants in through the stained glass window, building a coloured kaleidoscope over the rumpled bedsheets. Halen watches as Okami bustles around the room, throwing a couple of clean shirts into her pack. Her undershirt is in place, but the leather vest is hanging open, and her armour is draped over the chair by her desk. Her staff is leaning on the wall by the door, and he can almost sense the magic crackling in the air around them. Okami’s movements are sharp, yet still smooth. A shard of green light catches the top of her cheekbone, and her eyes almost change colour. It strikes Halen hard in the chest, even as the light vanishes a second later. 

The words are building in his chest, desperately clamouring at his sternum. He wants to speak. Needs to speak. Sitting up, Halen pulls the covers with him. It isn’t cold out, but he needs the buffer. Can’t speak to the Inquisitor and attempt to be serious if he’s naked. Not with the cowlick on the side of her hair just barely visible still. The words erupt out of him before he can stop them. ‘Don’t go,’ he pleads, resisting the urge to clap a hand over his own mouth. 

Okami stops, turns her eyes to him. They are like warm honeyed amber in the sunlight, and liquid emotion swirls around in his chest. Halen takes a deep breath, swallows. ‘Please, don’t go,’ he says again. It’s much quieter this time. He can tell she’s not going to listen to him. It forces something into motion inside of him, some vicious beast clawing at his intestines. ‘You don’t have to go. You can send Cullen to deal with the Red Templars. Please, Okami -’

‘Halen,’ she interrupts, tone hard. ‘I have to go - I’m the Inquisitor, after all. What kind of a leader does nothing but hide behind others? Halen, I’m not like that and you know it. I have to do this.’ As she says it, she straightens, holding her chin a little higher. 

Halen doesn’t stand, just watches Okami’s journey through their quarters, until she picks up the jacket. It flaps long and heavy on the floor as she pulls it on, freeing it when it tangles around her legs. The brown fur brushes against her neck, contrasting sharply with her dark hair. 

Halen’s legs carry him to her just before she grabs her staff. Magic is already crackling around them, making the hair on his arms stand on end. He lets go of the sheet, even as the air around him sends shivers down his spine. Okami’s skin is cold to the touch. ‘Okami, please, don’t go. Stay here.’ She looks up at him, eyes glazed and frown marring her brow. Halen swallows, clutches tighter to the sleeve of her jacket. ‘Okami, I love you. Please don’t go.’

The smile that graces her face is like the eye of the storm. Her cheeks bunch a little, and the corner of her eyes crinkle. Halen’s own frown clears, and he comes a little closer to her, slides his hand over the small of her back. ‘I love you too,’ she says, then takes her staff with her left hand. ‘But I have to do this.’ With that, she gives his wrist a squeeze and breaks away from his grasp. 

‘Please,’ Halen whispers. But she’s already gone. He can’t bring himself to care about the crack in his voice. 

The door hangs open, light beams dappling the floor. The sight makes Halen’s gut ache so hard his pelvis tingles. Acid pools at the back of his throat. He doesn’t bother going back to the bed, just leans his shoulder into the stone and feels it scrape at his flesh. The pain doesn’t make him feel better.