Sep 29, 2022
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' who said you weren't allowed to love and be loved ? '
nour's words settle somewhere deep in OR-10N's chest, disquieting and heavy where a heart would lurch underneath that uncomfortable press. had anybody said it to him directly? carved it into the glass that spans his optic sensors to prevent him from ever forgetting that knowledge? it was not done so deliberately, so obviously - but OR-10N could not escape that truth with even his greatest effort. he is not meant to love, was not created to fill the hole in someone's heart or comfort them with the gentle brush of his hand. he is not meant to be loved, to feel warmth spread in him when his eyes meet theirs and careful fingers probe at his hurts.
“ i did, ” he responds, quiet and careful and slow. it may have not been programmed in him to experience love, nor was he saddled with the ability to give his heart to another. but if he really wanted to know, if the yawning desire to sate his hunger swallowed him up, he could engineer it himself. change the map of his brain to allow it to hum brightly at positive emotion brushing the cortex. however - he hadn’t. had not even done the necessary research to figure out where to start.
the answer to nour's question becomes clear, crystalline and stained with the neon blue ooze of OR-10N's blood. he has been over this scenario many times, fingertips crossed with scars. “ the less i am involved with emotional input and output, the better. less complications. ” he thinks if he were human, he would bare his teeth in a smile, sharp-edged and pained. as it is, his expression does not change. “ i prefer it this way. ”
"Do you even love me?" ebcnylead
@ebcnylead
not much, if anything, could ever, ever catch white diamond off-guard. really, ‘off-guard’ was a word in her vocabulary she detested. she did everything in her power to stay on her guard and aware at all times.
those five words do more to stop her in her tracks than any other gem, organic, or cosmic being ever could do.
another heated argument between the two left black in a state of distress, and as white turns to storm away she hears those words, those painful words, thrown at her through the other’s tears. do you even love me?
“i…” it feels like a stab straight through the chest, an odd ache she hadn’t felt since… since pink’s shattering. her whole body stiffening, fists clenching at her sides, white diamond is at a loss for words.
“…i don’t know.”
“Say,Tidus, what was your hometown like? You know, where you grew up.” ( ffx verse bay bee )
* kingdom hearts // accepting
❝ It was… Nice. ❞ Hesitance laces his tone, and while Squall might be the only one who believes him outside of Auron, he doesn’t know how liberal he could be in his description. ❝ The buildings were super tall, massive really. It was more of a city, if anything. The lights were always on, even during the night. The best part of it was the sunsets though. I wish you could have seen it. ❞