i wish i took screenshots of phoebeâs dialogue during the rinascita holiday quest because i think i would really enjoy writing an analysis because i really love her themes and her ongoing character arc of questioning her loyalty to the order and questioning her faith
i love that shes finding individuality and learning to make her own interpretations of the meaning behind her religion, and no longer blindly following what the order tells her is true. i think what i love most about this, is that unlike a lot of other characters with religious themes behind their stories, she doesnât lose faith upon beginning to see the order for what it really is, but instead she questions the authority of the order and their use of religion to control people.
obviously this is all, like, in its beginning stages because sheâs still loyal to the order, and shes only just beginning to find herself, but im pretty confident that this is where itâs going.. if im wrong, oh well, thatâs embarrassing but its ok. im just excited to see how it develops.
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weâre baaaaack! sorry for the wait on this seventh instalment of my (to me) thoroughly enjoyable walls analysis <3 iâve been on a nice long break and have missed writing like crazy, so this one felt like taking a hit. like louis has a habit he canât break, so do i. though mine is less romantic, ig. but it is very fulfilling and life-affirming, just like louis is telling us his addiction is. love that for him. iâm not jealous in any way. alright enough bullshit
walls, track 7
I always said that Iâd mess up eventually
whatâs this low self-esteem? - in terms of the relationship, of filling expectations, not letting the one who he loves down
there was so much pressure on him ď˝Â too young
I told you that, so what did youâ expectâ from me?
he warned âyouâ off - guarded despite seeming open
It shouldnâtâ come as no surprise anymore
double negative: just louisâs colloquial english shining through - makes his music more personal, more like heâs actually speaking to us
itâs no surprise to him that he disappointed âyouâ, while âyouâ might have been keeping their hopes up, ignoring his warnings
I knowâ you said that youâd give me another chance
given a chance - tattoo on louâs arm in some beautiful handwriting ď˝ tpwk âgiven/giving second chancesâ
But you and I knew the truth of it in advance
That mentally, you were already out the door
so much hurt and waiting, âyouâ needed to protect themselves in the end
physically âyouâ might have still been there, but mentally they were losing faith, getting distant
Never thought that giving up would be so hard
God Iâm missing you and your addictive heart
theme of love as a drug, better than any high they could try to chase, theyâll give into it at any cost
ď˝Â back to you, âyou got me so addictedâ âyou can be the pill to ease the painâ,Â ď˝ mmith âgive me some morphineâ,Â ď˝ medicine âgot drunk on youâ,Â ď˝ kmm âjust a little taste, babeâ,Â ď˝ always you âi was chasing the habitâ,Â ď˝ wmi âyou were still high, never coming down with your hand in mineâ,Â ď˝ defenceless âi come running to you like a moth into a flameâ
âmissingâ
ď˝Â right now âi wish you were here with meâ,Â ď˝ change your ticket âitâs not the same when youâre goneâ,Â ď˝ home âwanna wake up and see your faceâ,Â ď˝ miss you,Â ď˝ canyon moon âiâve been gone too long from youâ
Youâre the habit that I canât break
Youâre the feeling I canât put down
Youâre the shiver that I canât shake
Youâre the habit that I canât break
Youâre the high that I need right now
Youâre the habit that I canât break
allusion to a comedown - L is addicted to âyouâ and canât function without - all he wants to do is give in to the feeling
I took some time cos I ran out of energy
Of playing someone I heard Iâm supposed to be
he took a break from everything for a moment: career, relationship
âplayingâ a part ď˝Â defenceless ârunning all my linesâ
âi heardâ: âthis is not my opinion, not my storyâ (iâm proud of who i am and donât think i should be anyone else) - following instructions, believing what others are saying
closeting, management forcing him into a role, controlling him - went along with it, but couldnât anymore - story consistent along the entire album
But honestly, I donât have to choose anymore
couldnât combine it all anymore âśÂ now heâll do anything to keep âyouâ in his life, no matter the context // heâs not in that situation anymore where he has to play that partÂ
And itâs been ages, different stages
verb tense: present perfect: something that started in the past and continues to this day - been ages that theyâve been together
âagesâ -Â âtoo youngâ - they were kids when they fell in love
âstagesâ: great play on words: different phases in their lives + places where they performed - performing together, all around the world, and solo (+ stage can hint at playing a role again)
Come so far from Princess Park
first residence they had after x-factor - apartment louis and harry publicly shared. thereâs no way around it
theyâve come far: conquered the world with the band, grown immensely personally and in their relationship - very positive connotation
Iâll always need you
In front of me, in front of me
iâll always follow you - you pull me forwardÂ
You give me the time and the space
ď˝Â mmith âjust let me know, iâll be at the doorâ
I was out of control and Iâm sorry I let you down
lost the plot for a hot sec
another apology! ď˝Â too young
I guess that I know what I already knew
I was better with you
And I miss you now
ď˝Â too young ânow i realize...â
open, honest: heâs found the words to say that he was still looking for in too young
âbetter with youâ - âyou make me feel like being someone good to youâ - perfect now
SYNTHESIS
So ObViOuSly Louis tried to make this song seem like a story about his fans or his job, as he tells us in his track by track, nicely adding that it âalludes to a girlâ uhuh thanks for that mate, you really think highly of us donât ya. Since thereâs no female pronoun to be sniffed out, the word âalludeâ is a nice choice: itâs Louis hiding in plain sight once again, knowing the song will be interpreted that good olâ heteronormative way even though he hasnât exactly written that. Itâs also the clever, age-old trick of steering public opinion, pointing and waving to get people to LOOK THERE LOOK OVER THERE THATâS WHAT ITâS ABOUT instead of actually listening to the lyrics and coming to the single possible conclusion if you do that. Which he knows. Which he has done on purpose. He just knows who will hear the song for what itâs really saying and who wonât, as is his aim.Â
The song continues the story already established on the album, consistently building this narrative involving his life and his relationship, every song fitting in a new puzzle piece. Habit feels like a continuation of Too Young: heâs found the words he wants to say, at last. Heâs made it clear now that he feels like heâs the one that made mistakes and hurt his loved one. Heâs saying sorry, owning up to them, but also giving an explanation and context. He was under a lot of stress, told things he started to believe, made to play a role to the extent that he lost sight of what he truly was and felt.Â
I wonât pretend that this is not about Harry and only Harry, we know and accept that truth. It would be ridiculous not to. I hear a bunch of parallels in the stories they tell, especially with Meet Me in the Hallway with this one. Harry was the one who gave the space, who was faced with his loved one seemingly far away from him, unreachable in a mental maze. Who had to also take a step back in order to not get too hurt. (Which ig they all did not succeed in but they worked it out yk.) Also, the loud parallel of love as a drug, âgive me some more / give me some morphineâ should not be ignored. âWe donât talk about itâ with now Louis finding what he wants to say. maybe i should just go ahead and make a post about more of these parallels cause i just love the pain
Yes, the story involves Louisâs career, as he states, but it obviously centres around how he got lost and hurt the love of his life in the process. Something that others predicted that would happen. Itâs that weird fucking manipulation where, despite it not being in your nature, you start to become what others tell you you are. Louis was simply under a lot of pressure, a lot of emotional stress. And then they were in this relationship together, through it all.Â
Because it was the only thing they ever knew, it became hard to figure out at one point if it really was the best for them, along with all of the shit around them. Especially since it brought along so much extra shit from outsiders. The relationship was never easy because of that: external pressure, people lying to them, underestimating their love, making Louis believe at some point that it was simply all too much to keep up. That life would be easier if they were apart. âyou shouldnât be together: youâre too young, youâre in a band together, youâll put your careers at risk especially if the world finds out youâre gay, youâll sacrifice the careers of your friends and crew, youâll hurt yourself and each other, the band will never be as big as it can be if it gets out that you're taken, and gay, if you break up you wonât be able to work with each other and thatâll fuck up the band, so why not make it easier on everyone and put a stop to itâ i can just hear simon saying it yk
Weâre in for more of this as the album goes on, reaching its peak in Defenceless.Â
Luckily, his crash and burn, and time spent alone, made Louis realise that their relationship was the thing that was actually keeping him going, giving him strength, making him the best version of him, amongst the chaos in his life - instead of making his life even more chaotic, as he was led to believe. He knows that now. Itâs completely understandable that they needed to go through something like this, after being together from such a young age and being put through extremely stressful situations, many of them directly âcausedâ by them being together. Iâm just fucking ecstatic that they made it and know the anchor needs his rope and vice versa, and so on and so forth.Â
