#h.rose

Documenting H. Rose Company or Rose Integration Ltd

I like this boy, He makes my poetry shit. He’s so simple & straight forward, That everything I have to say about him is just that: Simple. Straight forward. That might sound like a bad thing, But I don’t think it is. There’s no drama, no complexity. Just him & me. Boy & girl. Simple as can be. Happy. So who am I to complain if my poetry is shit? I love it.

He's the kind of boy I can see myself building a life with; Adopting 5 dogs with; Buying a house with; Raising kids with; Camping under the stars with; Laughing until age wrinkles my face with; holding hands forever with. He's the kind of boy I hope never becomes someone I simply share a handful of memories with.

He said to me “You aren’t the ‘sick girl’ in my head, you’re the 'everything else girl’ so why would I talk about sickness when I can talk about everything else?” And in that moment my soul relaxed & for the first time in what felt like a lifetime I believed I was more than my illness.

I first met him at a music festival, one of the best weekends of my life. Two years later I got to know you at the same festival, a weekend that was only brightened by your smile. So maybe I'll stay away now, from boys at music festivals who'll steal my heart and make me fall. Maybe I'll stay away from music festivals.

Is it so bad that some days I hope you see pictures of me & wonder why you chose her instead?

All the guys who have fallen for me in the past fell because I was quirky & confident. I knew who I was & I loved me, that's what made me attractive. But now that I'm sick & all of my confidence has gone, my quirkiness has subsided into me. I don't know how to be attractive anymore. If I don't who I am or how to love me, how will they?

It's crazy to think that so many people still have an image of who I used to be in their minds. They do not know who this illness has made me become, nor will they ever. It's such a strange and saddening concept.