a/n: howdy babes, last night i was reading through @toothpastekissy masterlist, basically gobbling up everything and came upon Leaked Feelings! I loved the concept of it so I decided to write my own version :) lmk if y’all want a part two!
ALSO, i recorded myself singing both songs i wrote for harry,,,, if ya want to know the tunes i was thinking for them, comment if you want them and ill post em.
my masterlist
There they were.
The leaked files.
When you got a call at 4 am this morning, you did not expect your publicist to be telling you some of your exes songs were leaked.
“What’s that got to do with me?” You asked, still half asleep.
“They’re about you, Y/N.” Well now you’re awake.
“What?” You shot up out of bed, padding over to your white desk, fuzzy pink socks on your feet. You opened your laptop and jumped onto twitter, scrolling through with one hand while the other held your phone. #StylesLeak was trending worldwide, as was #Y/N.
HarryUpdates tweeted:
OMG OMG RED ALERT WE GOT LEAK SONGS Y’ALL
FineFuckinLine tweeted:
OOF, what the fucccccck did harry do to Y/N? These are all apology songs!!! No wonder the break up was hush hush
E!News tweeted :
Hey everyone! We know Harry Styles and Y/N L/N stans are up early this morning! Leaked songs from Harry sales have been put out on the web for everyone to see. The two singers had called it quits 3 years ago, but now they’re the trending topic again! #shipname is now trending #1 worldwide, I didn’t ever think we’d see that one again! Go to our website for more!
You heard you publicist let out a big sigh, you put your phone on speaker and set it down on the desk next to you so you could keep looking.
“There are 7 songs, and each one has your name in it or as the title.”
It was a bit of shock, to say the least.
You had hung up with your publicist a while ago and were now debating on whether to listen to the songs or not, you had found a fan account that had the leaked files all ready to go for your entertainment, but something made you hesitate clicking the url.
“You Bastard!” You screamed, shoving him back into the wall.
Mascara was streaming down your face, the satin red cocktail dress you wore now crumpled as your crouched to grab your suitcase from underneath the bed.
“Please listen, it’s not what you think—“ Harry started, you whipped around to the man before you, fire burning in your eyes.
“Oh, really Harry? How is me hearing you say ‘yeah Y/N is alright, but gotta keep the media happy ya know’ on a voicemail I probably wasn’t supposed to get not what I think?”
Quickly, you zipped the bag closed, kicking your heels off and shoving your feet into your beat up converse. He let out an exasperated breath, tears starting to shine in his eyes.
“I—I was drunk Y/N! I was with some friends just joking around and—“
“Drunk words are sober thoughts Harry.”
You snapped back, slipping your tench coat on and racing for the stairs, luggage in hand. You rubbed away the endless tears running down your face as you made it to the living room, collecting your keys.
H raced down after you, mumbling over words—
‘Excuses’, You thought.
Right before you opened the front door, he grabbed your hand that was wrapped around the handle of your suitcase.
“Please Y/N, can’t we just sit down and talk this out—“
“There’s nothing to talk about Harry, you made that perfectly clear when I had to listen to you compare me some ‘other models’ while at a very important record dinner! I had to fucking sit there, eyes on me, and act like you weren’t ripping my heart out one word at a time!”
You snatched your hand out of his and moved out the door,
“Don’t call me,” was the last thing you said before slamming the door shut.
Bringing back those memories was something you didn’t want to do, it had been 3 years since the break up. Harry didn’t come after you, even though a part of you wished he had. Wished he had tried harder to get you back. But alas, shortly after, he started dating a model, Camile or something, and your relationship was tossed aside like yesterdays newspaper.
You moved back and forth with your mouse on the link, eventually you closed the page. Instead of fully chickening out, you decided to go to your favorite platform for celebrity gossip, tumblr.
“At least one of his die-heart fans must have the lyrics written down already.”
You mumbled to yourself, logging into your secret side blog about cats, Captain America, and cute outfits.
After not that much digging you found a blog, harrysmygod, (you definitely rolled your eyes at the name) had a whole posting written out about it already.
“They’re sure on top of everything, I’ll give them that.”
You started to read.
Hello my harries!
So if you’ve been up these past few hours, something big has happened! HARRY STYLES HAD SOME FUCKING SONGS LEAKED!!! And no, I don’t mean songs that could have been on the FineLine album, I mean OLD songs!
And they’re about, you know my fav girl, Y/N! Now, we know their break up 3 years ago was very quick and hush-hush, not much details ya know?
BUT WE GOT THE JUICE NOW LADIES!!
The boy wrote 7 songs that got leaked, and you wonder why I know they’re about her? Y/N is a lyric or title word used in all of them! Thats right, all 7 songs. I’ve done the best thing for everyone and written out the lyrics for you to look through, I’ve only kept one chorus and each new verse, if you listen to the song and its repeated I only wrote it down one for you, blah blah you get it?
Great! Heres the first one, it’s called Voicemail.
You took a deep breath and scrolled down.
The look on your face,
The hurt in your eyes,
Made me realize, my lover was gone,
I never got to say goodbye.
Oh, Oh, Ah, Oh.
The words I had said, not true,
I’m so sorry you heard them too.
When you came home in that dress,
Mascara dripping onto your chest.
I knew I had fucked up,
One voicemail turning us to dust.
If you ever hear this song,
Know that I was wrong,
You were the best thing in my life,
Now those flames have turned to ice.
Oh, Oh, Ah, Oh.
Y/N, please remember the love we once had together,
So I know I am real
And then maybe, we could try to heal.
Heaaaaaaaaaal.
Wow you guys, this SONG! Totally sucks that harry didn’t mean to release them cause totally invasion of privacy (sorry harry), but lucky for us we’ve got some info on what happened between Y/N and him!
I’m thinking maybe a voicemail gone wrong? They could have been in a fight and he said something that cut too deep? Lmk what you guys think, heres the next on called Gone.
You scrolled through them, you read all the songs. Lover’s Funeral, Drunk Thoughts, Empty Seat, Your Sock Drawer, and then finally, Y/N.
Alright, we’ve made it to the last song my dudes. And personally it’s my favorite!!!! This was the last song leaked, but I feel the most important. Here’s Y/N.
Oh, Y/N, Y/N, Y/N,
You make my heart fly,
I feel as though I could touch the sky,
I only need your love to try.
My love, love, love
You shine brighter than any star above.
Make me count everyday,
I should have tried to make you stay.
Oh, Y/N, Y/N, Y/N
I know we can agree
That I’m a bastard
Im a flake,
You made the right choice
Walking out on me
But could I have
A second chance,
I know it would be worth it
In the end
Because I’d get,
On one knee,
And promise myself to you
For all eternity.
Oh, Y/N Y/N Y/N
My love, love, love
Oh, Y/N Y/N Y/N
My love, love, love
You gasped, basically jumping away from the computer like it was on fire. Thoughts raced through your mind, you grabbed your head, trying to keep it all together.
He wanted to marry you? Impossible. 3 Years ago this man was thinking about proposing, then how could he say all those horrible things about you?
“He’s not worth another heartbreak, stop it, stop it!” You chanted to yourself.
While you paced back and forth making a dint in your soft white carpet, you had tuned out the notifications for instagram, twitter, and calls coming through to you.
But then a certain dial tone popped up that you had only set for one person.
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Yo te culpo, por las veces que lloré mientras dormías, por las peleas que generabas sin razón y yo terminaba pidiendo perdón por algo que ni siquiera entendía, por el día que me agarraste del brazo tan fuerte que rompiste mi corazón, por la mirada de ira al decirme que si esa noche salía no me ibas a volver a ver, por la noche en el auto cuando te dije que pares de agredirme verbalmente y me amenazaste con lastimarnos a los dos, por la ducha solo, por verme mal y no abrazarme; te culpo de haberme hecho quererte cuando vos no me querías, te culpo por mentirme, usarme y maltratarme. Yo te culpo por culparme, por hacerme creer que lo que me dabas era amor y que elegir que ponerle, que comer o cuando salir era sano. Yo te culpo y me culpo mil veces más por haber permitido que seas la experiencia mas tóxica y basura de mi vida. Yo te culpo de haberme dejado el miedo amar a otra persona.
Momanon here! How did it go? Remember no matter what this was just one interaction of many you’ve had and will have with others, so don’t put too much pressure on yourself either way! This was NOT a litmus test of if you’re a good person. If you said one thing awkward, all that means is you said one thing awkward. It isn’t a metaphor for your whole personality! But if it went great, amazing! One of many great interactions in your life because you are great!
mom you’re back!! unlike my real mother
thanks for checking on me! it went all right. ben’s dad picked us up in his junk ship. but i was polite and i mentioned the kessel run and i think i saw han solo visibly swell with pride so thanks anon for that suggestion
for the first half hour we all just made fun of ben and his inability to wear clothes that aren’t sweaters. so that was fun. put me at ease. han and leia are surprisingly nice people. i tried to call them captain solo and senator organa at first, but they told me no, and then i went for mr. and mrs. but han was like “i’m not fancy enough to be a mister” and leia was like “please don’t do that it makes me feel old.”
so i was like “han and leia it is, then”
and i’m actually really proud of myself because i didn’t say anything offensive while i was there. granted i didn’t say much of anything while i was there, but. i’m still proud. i usually say at least five offensive things per day
leia said she remembered me. she said luke brought me to kashyyyk once for life day, before we had any other students. i don’t really remember...but i guess i kind of remember clinging to luke the whole time, and ben being an ugly whiny baby who vaguely resembled a potato and tried to yank my head-tails
we played truth or dare and i learned that ben solo used to eat live bugs as a child. i can’t believe i ever wanted to kiss that mouth
fannie covered me for most of the times we had to talk. the foster kid was asking a ton of questions and it was overwhelming so i let fannie answer most of them. and when we were talking to leia i let fannie do most of the talking too. but leia did nab me alone at one point and let me tell you i was anxious beyond all belief but i guess it was okay; she was trying to ask me about myself and about luke and how i’m doing and stuff but i was scared she was just trying to interrogate me to figure out what kind of hooligan her son is associating with...i didn’t dare believe she was invested at all in my well-being
leia bought some food for dinner but it wasn’t vegan because ben forgot to tell her. so ben made me a plum-tomato sandwich. and then he made fun of me for taking protein supplement pills; he was like “oh amalia you’re finally on meds thank goodness!” and i know he was joking but it made me wonder if he thinks i’m crazy or mentally wrong. but i didn’t think about it for too long because i knew he wasn’t thinking about it anymore and i didn’t want to be awkward
han solo isn’t as cool as i thought he would be. he’s kind of a nerd. he’s like totally obsessed with his ship. and i guess once you’re not a handsome young rogue anymore, and you have a teenage son, you fully embrace your new role as embarrassing dad. so half the time he was just making fun of ben and it was kind of amazing
speaking of embarrassing ben, at one point i went to the refresher to get some alone time because i was anxious. i really didn’t want to cry because of my makeup. but luckily i looked up and saw that over the bathtub the organa-solos have this holo of ben as a toddler in the bath. you can’t see anything of course because his parents aren’t that cruel but. it was delightfully humiliating. i nearly died it cheered me up instantaneously
anyway i guess i felt a little insecure at ben’s house. like i didn’t belong there. but not to the degree that i was afraid i might. i didn’t exactly feel like family the way ben promised, but that is all right; i wasn’t expecting to. maybe when you are a person who has never actually had a family, feeling like you’re part of one is not something that comes easily to you. maybe it takes time
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