my name is mal and i am tall

okay

i got a summer job as a youth camp counselor. only it’s not camping at all because. well this is coruscant. basically they just lock the kids in a rented warehouse for a week and everyone larps that it’s camping

you’d think i hate kids and. well i do. but when i was a kid i hated myself, and i guess i just wonder if i can help someone not hate themselves

also i need somethin to get me out of the house. i got so many projects goin on it feels less like a home and more like a construction site

the hor—

never mind

they’re called montrals. they’re sensory organs

well i think ben just wrote a fifteen-billion-word story about it like he always does but i can tell you a lot shorter

we have a brand new member in the woke-up-in-the-psych-ward club.

never thought i’d see the day. her?

me. i’m dying. because every time i think they can’t get me any more concerned they have a new stroke of genius. they’re gonna send me into early pigmentation loss i swear

in all seriousness tho nobody. i think the situation’s mostly under control now

just woke up to a message from the republic city medcenter on hosnian prime saying i’ve been listed as an emergency contact

do they know i live on CORUSCANT

wait why would i be getting a

…oh you’ve gotta be kidding me.

been talking to him yeah. got him to go to bed finally

he’s a little better now. i told him he could at least trust that i love him. because every time i have ever not loved him. i have certainly made it no secret

but i know how it goes with him he gets better and worse. up and down. it’s not over yet he’s gonna have a rough day tomorrow

luckily all i was planning to do tomorrow is repaint the kitchen.

it’s gonna be bantha milk blue.

beautiful.

i feel bad for him though he has work tomorrow i’ve never worked a nine-to-five. i had off-days when i was helping out the old lady and it didn’t really matter. but he has to. like. take holocalls

oh for cryin’ out lou—

you had me at ben is wrong. didn’t even need to finish the sentence. he’s wrong about most things

but especially kitchen appliances

oh dude chef’s kiss. i don’t eat animal products so i don’t eat ice cream (before you get on my case for fawning over yogurt that other time it was a synthetic plant-based yogurt with cultures added—i eat a lot of plant-based stuff made to resemble other non-plant-based stuff and most of it sucks booty but every now and then there’s a winner) anyway. i can make my own fake ice cream now and put what i want in it and know there’s not anything weird and you know what? so far, all winners

house feels a little empty now though with solo gone.

thank you thank you thank you i think i’ve grown another inch

i’m not even joking. it’s the dang montrals. there are some doorframes around here i’ve had to modify. banging your montrals HURTS bro it’s like getting kicked in the balls. which i would not actually know about, but assume is similar

i should give solo a good kick just to verify

i mean he told me his girlyboo’s not gonna use birth control so

dude fr HA

i am looking forward to this tho. i don’t think we’ve actually all of us hung out for. for non-funeral-related purposes since we were kids. i think i called them like once. two years ago. when she spent the summer with him. and then cuz they kept breaking up i could never get them in the same place at the same time

it’ll be interesting. i will in fact be micro-analyzing their every interaction. watching like a probe droid. someone’s gotta get the tea around here

ugh force i just KNOW ben is gonna roast my repulsortruck on sight. i should insult his wife. see how he likes it

no jk actually i really wanna get fannie alone at some point this weekend to just be like. hey. hey girl. what’s. what’s goin on

gonna make a grain bowl tonight. with fermented cabbage. i am living the dream

life can be everything you want and more when you appreciate simplicity. i was taught that as a jedi but don’t think i really ever got it till a few years ago

i should send a holo of my grain bowl to master luke he’d like that

yeah it’d be. a little weird but his only other options are a) continuing to live with his parents which i think is more weird or b) living in like a bad bad neighborhood which i don’t think would be good for her

dude i saw her in the background the other day when i was talkin to ben. she looks…bad

anyway i have three extra bedrooms. it’s a big house. so if their marriage falls apart i can. just. move them waaay apart from each other. and then i can rent out two rooms!

lmao

wait no i’m one of the best men i shouldn’t talk like that. i mean…uh…go bannie! i love my besties. they make great choices always. separately and especially together

…with KINDNESS

well i just got off the most insane call of my life, for one thing. that’ll for sure take five years off my lifespan. bro’s wild for this

anyway. thanks for asking. i’m okay. got most of the house cleaned up finally. i have a lot of people who care about me, which is somethin to be grateful for

been tryna figure out what i want to do next. i did enjoy caregiving but i don’t know if i want to do that again so soon

still keep thinking about luke skywalker and that feeling i had that i was supposed to go back to the jedi school and…do what. do what? idk man the force never told me that part.

thank you that means a lot

unfortunately your hope is incorrect at this particular moment in time

i mean on the bright side i am suddenly a homeowner and also pretty much set for life financially

the only downside is. well.

everything else

i wish it wasn’t “ben and fannie’s” corner.