Here's a series I love that's pretty obscure to English speakers: Kuromajo-san ga Tooru!! — or translated, Here Comes a Black Witch!! It's a silly Magical Girl series, yet it doesn't bother to adhere to typical tropes for its genre. Choco has basically no friends and is essentially a side character trying to live quietly in a classroom of main characters when she gets forced into becoming a black witch. The good thing: she loves occult; the bad thing: she would rather engage with occult at a distance and not have to slather gross concoctions of boiled lizard guts or whatever else over her skin. And she would really, really rather not have to wear gothic lolita and stay in her comfy overalls forever, but her brash, androgynous instructor insists on it as her uniform anyway. Choco is constantly retorting in her head to the ridiculous antics of the figures around her as she's dragged into all sorts of situations she'd rather not be in, but she somehow manages to save basically every single one of her classmates from supernatural death. And through all of this, she develops a bond with her instructor, Gyubid, that she values more than her own biological family even as she side-eyes her constantly. The relationship between Choco and Gyubid (who is downright hilarious) is why I keep coming back to this series. The writing strikes a great balance between Gyubid's pranks and her care for Choco. Gyubid will try to loop a 10-year-old into a scheme to obtain expensive Gyubie (aka Barbie) dolls, call that 10-year-old a dumbass for not understanding magic, get chased around the block when this 10-year-old raises hell, and then work her ass off to defend this kid over and over again. I never get the sense that Gyubid ever wants to set Choco up for anything besides success despite all her heckling, and she's always got Choco's back no matter what. And she's just so funny.
So I figured reading the novel series (41 books!) would be a good way to practice my Japanese. I thought I'd just log some of the differences with the anime like how I did with the Heartcatch Precure novel. But I didn't quite account for how much got shaved in the low budget 7-minute episode format, so enough of it ended up being different that I just gave up and summarized the scenes in detail instead. These aren't full translations as I don't have time for that, but you can always go watch the anime if you're new to this series. The voice acting is really great, especially for Choco and Gyubid. (I fully expect no one but me and my friend to read these posts, though).
Differences, more context, etc., are in the footnotes. Which won't function correctly on Tumblr, but oh well. Many thanks to my friend @magical-pun-girl, who helped me figure out how best to translate terminology and spells.
This are character profiles, each consisting of 2 sentences. Nothing new here.
(A True Scary Story)
The Girl Possessed by a Black Witch
This prologue follows the format of recounting Choco's attempt to summon cupid and ending up with Gyubid. Nothing new here, either.
Story One: A Black Witch vs. A Flight of School Ghost Stories
This story is adapted in Ep 1 of the anime.
1. A Black Witch's Early Morning Training!
Rather than showing their very first encounter like in the anime, the book just leads right into Gyubid waking Choco up for her 5AM training by moving stuff around in the air and pulling her sheets out so that she tumbles onto the floor. Choco initially thinks that it's evening, but it's 5:30 AM and Gyubid is mad at her for sleeping in.
Morning Training Menu:
- Tidying your bed (Repellent for Contagious Magic)
- Cleaning (Repellent for Contagious Magic)
- Magic Circle Transcription (Level 1 Necromancer Magic)
Choco starts protesting while changing into her day clothes (her overalls), asking why she has to bother with this. Gyubid says it's because Choco wanted to be a black witch. Choco protests that she never said that, her nose was just stuffy when she was trying to summon Cupid. Gyubid says that it doesn't matter what the circumstances were, she has to train Choco into becoming a black witch. Choco digs in her heels and says, what if I don't want to, no matter what? Gyubid takes a hairband from around her wrist and puts it around the pajamas Choco just took off.
"Luciuge ⬥ luciuge ⬥ titetoms." [1]
Choco's overalls constrict around her. Gyubid chants the spell again. Choco tells Gyubid to cut it out since it hurts, but Gyubid says she has to add "-sama" when she says Gyubid. Choco uses -sama and says she'll study properly. The spell goes slack, and Gyubid explains that she wasn't actually serious with that spell; Choco can think of it as tough love to make her want to become a full-fledged black witch. Choco mutters that it's more like Gyubid can't return to the Magic World unless she makes Choco a witch. Gyubid casts the spell again, and Choco scrambles to say that she didn't say anything, stacking polite verbs to the point where it's ungrammatical (ありませんでございますです). Gyubid laughs releases the spell. She then explains that the spell just used was a type of Contagious Magic. Choco's pajamas weren't put away and still had the impression of Choco's shape in them, so a rubber band could transmit the magic to Choco's body. To protect yourself from Contagious Magic, you have to make sure that you don't even leave behind a single strand of hair.
Gyubid says that she's never seen such a dirty room. Choco doesn't know how true that is, since she doesn't have any other kid's room to compare to as she is friendless.[2] Choco is going through the grueling cleaning process — making sure there's not a single wrinkle in the sheets, etc. — when her mom calls her name and suddenly opens the door. Gyubid immediately clings to the ceiling like a bat. Her mom is shocked as Choco has never woken up at 5am to clean her room before. Choco says that she's already a 5th grader, so she can at least take charge of her own room. Choco asks for a vacuum cleaner so she can clean the floor. Her mom nods and then goes running down the stairs, crying out of joy and calling for Choco's father to tell him the news. Choco thinks this reaction is totally overblown.
Gyubid comments that her mom is rude for not knocking before opening the door as she comes down from the ceiling. Choco says that her mom is bound to see Gyubid if she looks just slightly upwards. Gyubid says she won't see anything, because she's only visible to Choco. Choco is confused at why Gyubid even bothered to cling to the ceiling; Gyubid says because that's what the demons and vampires do in the movies, and it looks cool. Gyubid then says that Choco can't use a vacuum cleaner. Witches have to use brooms.
2. Megu's Spirit Photography
Choco has unearthed her floor for the first time in five years when Megu suddenly calls her name from the front door. She says she wants to walk to school with Choco, and Choco's mom starts crying again. Choco again is annoyed by this overblown reaction, but her mom says that this is the first time this has happened since Choco entered elementary school. Choco mentally notes that this is true, but she also doesn't care because she thinks having to deal with girl talk (fashion, etc.) is annoying. Gyubid says Choco has a bad personality. Choco thinks she doesn't want to be told that by a black witch.
Choco invites Megu up to Choco's room. Gyubid goes to hide in the corner of the ceiling again for the fun of it.
Choco hears Megu counting the steps as she comes up the stairs, but she falls silent right before Choco's room. She starts going down the stairs and the count starts over. Then Megu dashes up the stairs and cheerily bursts in with a, "Good morning!" Her outfit is loud as always in Onee-kei style (likely Gal-adjacent, given Choco's reaction). Megu has been into fashion since kindergarten. Choco asks what she was doing on the stairs, and Megu talks about how there's a story about their school's stairs where something bad happens to you when the number of the stairs going up vs. down aren't the same. Choco thinks this is ridiculous and doesn't appreciate that Megu's playing around with her home staircase. Though the formatting of the text indicates that it's a thought,[3] Megu catches on and insists that she's not playing around; it's real, and that's why she's come to talk to Choco. Choco mentally notes that this checks out since there's no way Megu would hang out with her unless it had to do with occult stuff.
Megu brings out her fashionable tote bag (of which she's the only student to be using as a school bag) and shows Choco a picture. Unlike the class photo in the anime, it's a pic of Megu, Mai, Yuri, and Shou. There's a figure behind Megu's peace sign but only their hair is visible. Megu says that they took the photo after making up after fighting over Shou (to which Choco is internally annoyed about because she was the one who solved that for Megu with the attempt to call Cupid), but weird stuff has been happening to her since.
The hair apparently belongs to their teacher, who snuck in the photo because he was so touched his students were making up and getting along or whatever.
Megu insists that there's a face in the wall and that other creepy things have been happening to her. She lists off things that all sound normal to Choco. Megu wants Choco to be her bodyguard, and Choco wants to say no, but Gyubid telepathically tells her to say yes because the photo really is haunted.
3. When It Comes to the Self-Proclaimed "Hearty Hunk of a Teacher"...[4]
The two walk to school and Megu imagines all sorts of paranormal phenomena, but Choco points out that it's all regular stuff. Megu doesn't listen to this and, at school, tells the other kids that all this bad stuff happened to her but Choco guarded her. Mai asks Choco to be the president of the Paranormal Investigation Committee because other stuff has been happening to the students in this class. Yuri is worried about the stairs thing.
Their teacher, Matsuoka, comes in and looks around for attendance and points out that there's someone crying: Yokozuna, to Choco's diagonal left. Choco apparently didn't notice this because Yokozuna cries often, like whenever people say that he's fat or his legs are short or that he cries a lot. (leave this kid alone)
Matsuoka's mean nickname for Yokozuna (Iwata Daigorou) is "Kuishinbou Banzai" in the novel (the "Banzai" part didn't make it to anime, just "Kuishinbou," which was translated to "Piggy"). When Matsuoka says it, the other boys in their class put their hands up and repeat the name, or just the "Banzai" part.
Matsuoka tells him to speak up about what's wrong, but Yokozuna just weeps, so Mai stands up and says that the boys were bullying him with no-rules dodgeball. Choco notices marks on his face and the back of his T-shirt. In no-rules dodgeball, there's no court, so people who are hit with the ball can keep playing instead of standing on the side and waiting. Choco thinks this way of playing dodgeball makes no sense. Since balls can fly out from anywhere, it often hits people in the face. Being bigger and someone who's quick to cry, Yokozuna ends up getting targeted more. Choco thinks the other boys are stupid. Mai goes on about how no-rules dodgeball is supposed to be forbidden, and it's unforgivable that the boys were using that game to bully Yokozuna. The boys grow flustered and say they weren't bullying him. They demand proof. Mai swiftly replies that the proof is the marks on Yokozuna's face and his nosebleed. Choco mentally cheers Mai on.
Matsuoka asks "Piggy Banzai" if that's true. Yokozuna nods. The boys protest and tell Yokozuna to say that it isn't true. The teacher gets mad at them.... for calling him Yokozuna instead of Piggy Banzai. He then tells him to just wear thicker clothes. Mai insists that the problem is the no-rules dodgeball and the boys are in the wrong. Matsuoka just laughs and says that humans hate following rules. Mai protests, but he says that there's no point in banning the game. Then he turns to Yokozuna and tells him that hard experiences make you stronger, and that's what youth's about. The girls are aghast.
Matsuoka then changes the subject to a surprise kanji quiz. Everyone groans, and he gleefully says wanting to hear that sound is why he became a teacher. Choco thinks something is deeply wrong with him. Choco barely has time to do her homework due to all her witch training, so she does poorly. Matsuoka makes them read their scores out loud. Mai says "full points" egotistically. Yokozuna also got full points, at which point Matsuoka bullies him by saying he's full both on the test and on food. The boys all join in on the "Banzai" joke again. Choco is forced to read out that she got 3 points, but Matsuoka pretends not to hear her and asks if she said full points ("santen" sounds close to "manten"). She repeats 3, aggravated that he's pretending not to hear her when she sits right in front of him. Matsuoka joke asks if she's had a curse put on her. Choco mentally thinks, yes, by the freeloader black witch in her house. Megu scores 0 points. After making an annoying joke about if she's speaking Kansai, Matsuoka looks at her paper and reads aloud her first kanji mistake with its unintentional warped meaning. He starts laughing and the boys laugh with him, and ask him to read out more. He does, and Megu stands there biting her lips and staring at the floor. Choco thinks she must be really hurt, since normally she expresses her feelings loud and clear.
4. Black Witch Debut!
Choco is home recounting what happened to Gyubid. Yokozuna cried all day; Megu got so mad she screamed and kept talking about how she was going to make Matsuoka pay. Mai and Yuri agreed to help her. Choco likewise can't forgive Matsuoka's behavior. Gyubid interrupts her and asks what she's going to do about the Paranormal Investigation Committee. Choco doesn't get the connection, but Gyubid says that Matsuoka is probably dealing with something supernatural. Choco says she checked out the area where they took the photo, but the face that Megu saw was just a trick of the eye or some kind of prank. Gyubid says that the problem isn't with the location of the photo, but who took the photo. Ghosts don't exist. Humans just disappear after being cremated, so all psychic phenomena are created by the feelings of living humans. [5]
Choco takes out the photo and Gyubid sniffs it. Then she tells Choco to head to the school at night with Megu. Taking out another black coat from inside her coat, Gyubid tells Choco to wear it since it raises magic power and also wards off evil. Naturally, she also tells Choco that she'll be in trouble if she loses it or gets it dirty.
Choco meets up with Megu at the children's park behind the school. She's really embarrassed to be wearing Gyubid's spare coat. Megu freezes in place when she sees Choco, so Choco starts saying something about how she should change, but Megu interrupts her with excited praise about how she knew Choco wasn't just your average occult maniac; she even looks like a black witch, how wonderful! Megu says she couldnt help but feel scared about checking out the staircase together, but she feels full of courage now since she knows that Choco can resolve the issue.
They go to the school and Megu worries about opening the gates, which are locked shut and will sound an alarm if forced open without a card-key. Choco calmly states that the gate isn't locked and alarm system is out of order tonight, and pushes the gates open. No alarm. Megu is amazed. Choco thinks to herself that it's not like she did anything particularly amazing — it was all Gyubid. Choco says that since the card-key system is broken tonight, Matsuoka will be patrolling instead. They head to the staircase.
They climb up and count the steps from the second floor to the third (where their classroom is). Going up is 14, but going down is... Megu starts counting, but when Choco turns around, she sees a new shadow on the floor from the window that wasn't there before. It looks human-shaped.
Megu finishes counting: 13. There's one step missing. The shadow disappears, and Choco and Megu head to the next place paranormal phenomena have been occurring: the girl's bathroom on the third floor. All the single use stalls are closed even though there should be no one around to use them. Megu says they're also closed during the day and there's no response when you knock on them. Choco spots the shadow from earlier sitting on the floor in front of the stall furthest in. The shadow is big and its shoulders seem to be trembling, like it's crying.
Choco asks Megu who took the photo she showed her earlier. Megu says Yokozuna. Matsuoka saw Yokozuna passing by and made him take the photo for them. Choco asks how Yokozuna was acting when he took the photo. Megu says he was crying while doing so because their teacher had taunted him by asking if his fat finger could even press the shutter and saying that the camera might get lost in his fat cheeks. Choco confirms mentally that the problem with the spirit photograph isn't the location but who took the photo. Yokozuna's resentment turned into a vengeful astral body [6] and was causing paranormal phenomena throughout school. To dispel this spirit, they have to solve its grudge, or rather, take revenge on Matsuoka.
Choco asks Megu to go ahead to the next location, the music room. Megu is afraid to go alone, but Choco tells her that she's going to perform exorcism now and Megu could get caught up in it if she sticks around. Megu agrees to leave Choco, shaking all the while. Choco gets to work — not on exorcism, but on using a spell to give shape to Yokozuna's resentment. After all, the specialty of black magic is to cast curses.
Choco chants "Luciuge ⬥ luciuge ⬥ liberare" [7] three times, and the shadow stands up and charges at her. She reflexively steps back, but the shadow darts to her side and then off to the music room, where Megu is.
5. An Astral Body's Vengeance
Choco finds Megu in the brightly lit music classroom: she's fine. They hear Matsuoka humming and talking to himself, coming down the hallway. He's annoyed about being on patrol duty and talks to himself about how he wanted to dance in a club all night long instead.
Choco and Megu hide themselves between a window and a desk. Matsuoka assumes that the light was left on by mistake and turns it off. Then the piano suddenly starts to play slow, sad sounding notes. Megu is clinging to Choco, who has a hand against Megu's mouth to keep her from screaming. Choco's legs are shaking. Matsuoka directs his flashlight to the piano. There's a figure there — Beethoven.
Choco looks to the wall. Of the pictures of the composers, Beethoven's is missing from his. Beethoven starts speaking (in Japanese, which even Choco comments on) about how sad the sounds of the trampled are, then yells at Matsuoka for failing to grasp his meaning. Matsuoka fails to form any words, but when Beethoven comes closer (without feet, Japanese ghost style), Matsuoka throws his flashlight and runs out the room. Beethoven's picture reappears in its frame, smirking.
Choco tells Megu that they gotta get going since they don't want to be in this room anymore. Outside in the hallway, Matsuoka keeps running two or three steps before falling on his hands and knees, crashing into the walls or hallway windows. He reaches the girl's bathroom and darts into it. Choco looks in and he's desperately knocking on the closed stall, screaming about how it won't open. He's crying buckets. None of the doors will open, and there's no response to his knocks. He screams for some reason unknown to Choco and tries to open the stall furthest in.
A response comes: "This stall is occupied by the student you've nicknamed so cruelly." The voice comes out in small starts, interrupted by weeping in between.
The voice says that it will be out shortly to clear away its resentment towards Matsuoka. Just as Matsuoka takes a step back, the door slams open. Yokozuna's dark shadow comes out and asks Matsuoka to flush himself away along with all of the bad things he's said. All the toilets suddenly flush. Yokozuna's shadow reaches out a hand to Matsuoka. Matsuoka squeaks out a "Help me," and then bolts from the bathroom. Yokozuna's shadow chases him.
Megu's knees give out, and her eyes are hollow. Choco is worried about her, but she's more worried that Matsuoka is going to be killed, which she'll then feel guilty about because it was her spell that gave Yokozuna's astral body a form. Choco tells Megu, who looks like she's half-fainted, to wait there, and runs after Matsuoka and the shadow.
Matsuoka pleads "Help me," and starts running down the cursed stairs, but stops halfway when Yokozuna's shadow teleports to the bottom of it when it had been behind Matsuoka just seconds ago. It calls out to Matsuoka; he recognizes the voice as Yokozuna's. Yokozuna's shadow says that the Matsuoka only ever says mean things to him and never helps him. He resents Matsuoka. And it's not just him; many others in the class also resent Matsuoka. Matsuoka says he'll apologize. The shadow says that if apologies were good enough, we wouldn't need the police. It gets closer to Matsuoka. Matsuoka begs for forgiveness, saying he won't call him any more weird names, and he'll reprimand the other boys.
Matsuoka suddenly turns around in Choco's direction, frantically trying to run up the stairs instead. He collides into Choco and screams out another "Help me!" while trying to cling to her. But Choco's coat is slick, and his attempts at grabbing her slide right off. Matsuoka's foot slips, and he goes tumbling down the staircase.
"Luciuge ⬥ luciuge ⬥ retractale." [8]
Gyubid stands at the bottom of the stairs. She chants the spell again. Yokozuna's shadow fades away.
Choco asks Gyubid why she's here and steps over Matsuoka to descend the stairs. Gyubid says that she came to check on Choco since the astral body's grudge was stronger than expected and might have been too much for her. Choco asks if everything's all right now. Gyubid says yes, because she chanted the spell to withdraw the astral body. Gyubid says she also wiped the memory of Choco's flashy friend (Megu), since she looked so scared that Gyubid figured she might not come to school again if she remembers what happened. Gyubid says that Yokozuna's spirit [9] is also satisfied now, though that might not last if the teacher pulls the same stunts.
Gyubid says that Choco did good on her debut, since usually people freeze up when they see astral bodies. She's in the middle of saying that Choco passed when she lets out a yelp and points at the jacket Choco is wearing. She asks accusatorily what Choco did to her precious spare coat. There's a bunch of tiny scratches all over the bottom part of it. Choco says that Matsuoka did that when he was trying to run away from Yokozuna's astral body. Gyubid fires off a stream of her typical insults: "Idiot! Moron! Blockhead! Numskull! Dipstick! Utter imbecile!" (The book describes this as like a machine gun.)
Gyubid yell-asks what Choco's gonna do about this. Choco says she's going to do nothing since this is just what happens when you use black magic. Gyubid yells not to give her attitude when Choco's nothing but a low-level witch and demands compensation. Choco protests that she has no way of doing so, but Gyubid is shouting, "Compensation! Compensation!" as she runs down the stairs. What a childish tantrum, Choco thinks, but there's no way she can actually replace the coat, so it doesn't matter. All in all, Yokozuna's resentment has been satisfied, Matsuoka is reflecting on his actions, and the school hauntings have been solved, so things turned out pretty well. Matsuoka starts to get up, so Choco quickly gathers Megu and returns home.
The next day at school, the classroom's air is tense. When Matsuoka hobbles in, Mai immediately stands up and says that she became the leader of the "Denouncing Mr. Matsuoka Trampling All Over His Students' Feelings Committee", and she wants to have a word with him during this morning session to...
Mai trails off and the whole class gasps in shock. Matsuoka apologizes and says he was in the wrong. His face is covered with injuries. He apologizes to Iwata for giving him the Piggy Banzai nickname and for saying it was his own fault for being bullied. Matsuoka also says he won't make fun of people's tests anymore and he'll be watching for people breaking the rules. He apologizes again. Mai starts to say something, but Matsuoka cuts in, saying he understands: If apologies were good enough they wouldn't need the police. He asks her what he should do and says he'll do anything. Mai says that wasn't what she was going to say — she's curious about what happened to his face. The whole class nods. Matsuoka rubs his swollen face with his fingers, and says, "I hurt myself ghosting down— I mean, going down the stairs at school." [10] Choco thinks to herself that he's hopeless for making a pun in this situation.
(The text says, "Just kidding...")
Bat: And then? And then??
— End of Volume 1, Story One —
Personal Comment Section
I don't think they clarified the Beethoven thing in the novel, but that definitely has to be Gyubid's doing.
Choco is so real for also being like... "Man, I just don't want to feel responsible for someone dying on me."
Interestingly, we don't get any dialogue here of Yokozuna saying that he prefers the nickname Yokozuna rather than his name Iwata. I guess they added that in the anime? It's weird to not have it here, since nicknaming a fat kid "Yokozuna" (top rank in Sumo) can also be offensive if the kid doesn't like it.
I'm not into how the book describes Yokozuna's body. Uses a lot of imagery tied to food (like he looks like a steamed bun) and SFX that emphasizes the plump feeling. I don't feel like other characters' bodies get this type of treatment; it reads as fatphobic.
In general, I prefer the anime's take on this first story since the crimes fit the punishment there (one bad nickname, not enabling bullying nor bullying all the students = one big scare by Yokozuna's astral body) rather than what happened here. I'm guessing since it was a 3-pronged "ghost" scare (music room, bathroom, staircase), it was meant to stand in for each of these bad things he did in the novel (calling Yokozuna "Piggy Banzai", excusing the dodgeball bullying, shaming Megu's kanji test), but it still doesn't feel equal. The section with the girl's bathroom also didn't make sense to me. It feels like the more logical thing to do is to just try to exit the building entirely rather than bang on the stalls of the bathroom, asking to be let in. Let in to do what? Take a nervous poop? Hiding in the bathroom doesn't seem any safer than hiding in another open room. Maybe if they had gone into the horror element more rather than the kiddy ghost story vibe, it would've been better.
I do think the counting stairs thing is pretty funny, though. I definitely remember having this discussion in elementary school on step counting and whether it was the same going up or down.
Footnotes
1: The general format of the spells is Luciuge ⬥ luciuge ⬥ __re (ルキウゲ・ルキウゲ・~ーレ), which derives from the demon Lucifuge Rofocale in the Grand Grimoire. As a result, "Rofocale" is the most common spell in the series. (Note: the dots in the Japanese just emphasize the split in words for katakana, but me and my friend think they look cool and opted to use diamonds instead of just commas or spaces.)
"ルキウゲ is referring to Lucifuge, but they changed the フ to a ウ in the name, so I dropped the F as well. "Lucifuge" is a combination of two Latin words, "Lux" (light) and "Fugio" (flee), which makes the term "one who flees from the light". I suppose that's pretty black witch-y.
The ーレ ending is likely a reference to the れ command form in Japanese.
All of this is to say that this spell (ルキウゲ・ルキウゲ・タイトゥムス), which only ever shows up in book 1, doesn't follow the format of the typical spells. The last word, "タイトゥムス" doesn't end in ーレ, and doesn't seem Latin, either. My guess is that it's a portmanteau of the English words "tight" and "bottoms" (as in referring to lower garments), タイト and ボトムス. This would fit the effects of making Choco's overalls constrict around her. "Titetoms" is my way of combining these words. I used "ite" instead of "ight" to not seem so obviously English in a sea of Latin-like spells.
The anime doesn't use "Titetoms" (タイトゥムス) but "Contages" (my best transcription guess: コンティギネス), which the Anxious-He sub group rendered as "Contagiarsi." I don't actually know why they did that over "Contages." But also, I don't really know Latin that well anyway so I don't know if my spelling is the most correct either, but it actually gets a result on internet searching while "Contagiarsi" does not.
The anime also differs from the book in that "Contages" uses a strand of Choco's hair to control her like a puppet.
Still, neither the "Titetoms" nor "Contages" follow the typical spell format, and they also never show up again (at least according to a Japanese blog post I'm using as reference for the spells in the books. Limited-edition redacted spell?
2: Choco in this book regularly says she doesn't have any friends (友だち), yet during the ritual to call out Gyubid in the prologue the narration said "friends from school" (クラスの友だち). I guess she means she doesn't really have people she's close with. I'm not really sure why this inconsistency exists; Choco could just call them classmates if she really wanted to. Choco also later does use the word "friend" for Megu in her head when she's reacting to her mom's tears, like "There's no need to get so emotional just because a friend came to pick me up!" (友だちがむかえにきたからって、そんなに感動するなぁ!) but I guess you could say this is more rhetorical.
3: Sometimes people respond to Choco's internal thoughts, so I guess her face just displays what she's thinking really clearly or she somehow says parts of it out loud without quotation marks. This kind of confused me when reading at times. In the anime, she does sometimes make small side comments to herself, but she also has times where she quips without voicing anything.
4: Fansubs seem to use something like "Schoolgirls' Heartthrob Teacher," but this doesn't actually make sense with the Japanese. For one thing, "schoolgirls" is nowhere to be found. The Japanese is 熱血イケメン教師, which basically means "hot-blooded handsome teacher." The point of this isn't that he wants young girls to fall in love with him but that he sees himself as one of those inspirational young teachers you see in Japanese Dramas. In fact, this self-proclaimed name is rooted in the term 熱血教師, which is just "passionate/enthusiastic teacher." The イケメン (good-looking guy) being inserted here is just for his ego. As such, we're going with "Hearty Hunk of a Teacher," as it rolls off the tongue and captures all 3 parts of this self-given title.
5: The word Gyubid uses here is 霊 (rei), which is "soul; spirit; departed soul; ghost." The sense I get here is that souls of dead people don't haunt the living, so there are no "ghosts." More on this to come in future chapters.
6: The term used for this is 生き霊 (ikiryou), which is a "vengeful spirit (spawned from a person's hate)." The kanji that make up this word are literally "alive" and "spirit".
7: ルキウゲ・ルキウゲ・リヴェラーレ
"Liberare" is a Latin word meaning "to set free." This spell only appears in book 1. It is also used in the anime, though.
8: ルキウゲ・ルキウゲ・リトラッターレ
"リトラッタ" from the English word "retractable" (リトラクタブル). The ッ could be standing in for the omitted ク. The ending of the word is replaced by the typical spell format. This spell only appears in book 1. Not used in the anime.
9: Uses the word 気 here (spirit; mind; heart).
10: Both 怪談 (ghost story) and 階段 (stairs) are read as "kaidan." Given that this is the punchline of the story, I also tried to preserve this wordplay in the story title: "A Black Witch vs. A Flight of School Ghost Stories." (学校の怪談 VS. 黒魔女)
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Volume 1, Story Three: A Black Witch's First Love!
This story is covered in ep 4 of the anime.
1. The Mysterious Transfer Student
Choco is so sleepy from having to clean at 5AM, studying a grimoire (The Sworn Book of Honorius), and then practicing "gazing," which is a Black Witch's technique to see through to the true form of things in a glance. Which basically comes down to a staring contest, so Choco had to stare at Gyubid's eyes for an hour — while wearing gothic lolita because Gyubid has made that her uniform. Naturally, she changed out of the outfit before class.
Megu is still walking around in classic lolita at school. The book introduces Perv Ace here, or Naoki Kojima. He apparently has an overbite like a squirrel (this detail didn't really make it into the anime). He talks about Megu's skirt with Yokozuna, who is uncomfortable and denying that he ever takes peeks at Megu's miniskirt. Choco internally notes that Yokozuna does, but Perv Ace doesn't have any right to poke fun at him for it (considering that he's way worse). Perv Ace badgers Yokozuna to switch seats with him, threatening him with bullying if he doesn't go along with the plan.
When Matsuoka comes in, Perv Ace immediately claims that his eyes and ears have gotten worse and he needs to sit closer. Matsuoka asks if there are any students that want to switch with him. Yokozuna stays quiet, but Matsuoka ends up picking him anyway to switch seats because he said his eyes were good before. Yokozuna starts crying. Choco remarks in her head that there's truly no God or Buddha out there, only black witches.
Matsuoka introduces the new transfer student, Lulu Ramon. She's so cute that she has everyone's full attention.
She speaks in a very soft voice. Matsuoka says that she's here because of her dad's job and will only be staying for a month. The seat assigned to her is next to Perv Ace. Perv Ace is immediately taken with her, so he says his eyes and ears are better to keep his seat. Later, the students crowd Lulu to ask her a bunch of questions about herself, but Lulu doesn't answer and just keeps her eyes down. Perv Ace tells them to back off and to funnel questions through him. Mai asks why they have to do that, and he actually stands up to her for once and says that it's because, as Lulu's seatmate, he can sense how lost Lulu is. Perv Ace tries to tell poop jokes to loosen Lulu up.
During the break after second period, Mai and Yuri lead their girl factions to block out Perv Ace and ask Lulu questions. Lulu doesn't answer until Yuri asks about Lulu's dad's job. Suddenly, Lulu snaps that it's none of their business. Mai and Yuri leave in a huff. Once they're gone, all the boys surround Lulu, taking her side. Lulu says nothing to them. Mai is talking seriously with the girls in her group and eyeing Lulu.
2. Gentleman Perv Ace
Choco reports to Gyubid what happened at school, but Gyubid is staring at a book, Encyclopedia of Demons & Witches, without even flipping a page. Choco wonders what's up and sneaks behind her. Gyubid is staring at a section that lists the demon [1] Eurinome, who is said to be the King of Death. [2] He has two sons, Ecranome and Exonome. Under the blurb is a drawing of what looks to be some sort of monster with horns and long, curved nose.
Choco says it's creepy. Gyubid jumps up and snaps her book shut, saying that it's improper to peek at her stuff. Choco says it was because Gyubid wasn't listening to her at all. Gyubid says that she was listening and can listen to even 10 people at once — she won't lose to Prince Shotoku in this regard. Choco realizes that reference is from one of her books and that Gyubid's been reading her stuff. Choco sarcastically says that she's more than happy to have Gyubid read her books if it's helpful for her. Gyubid protests that she would never read such baby stuff, and even mentions the magazines Nakayoshi and Bessatsu Friend (which Choco notes is typically shortened to BetsuFure; the fact that Gyubid doesn't know this means that she's really just reading the magazine rather than hearing of it from someone else).
Gyubid says they should go take a look at what Lulu's up to, but Choco doesn't know where she lives. Gyubid is mad to hear this, and tells her to use the gaze on Lulu tomorrow.
The next day, Choco walks into the classroom to find Mai and Yuri surrounding Lulu with all of their posse. The two of them are making fun of Lulu in an indirect way by implying that she's wearing the same clothing as the day before. (This is a funny thing to say, considering that the anime really only gave everyone like one set of clothing.) They put on a whole skit about how there's some kind of smell of perfume coming from Lulu. Choco observes Lulu trembling ever so slightly, even though her eyes are still cast downwards. Mai and Yuri say it's Amour de Patou, but no elementary schooler would be wearing that to school. As they look each other and grin and then eye Lulu.
Just then, Perv Ace cuts in, saying to stop treating Lulu badly. Mai and Yuri feign ignorance and ask if he's implying they did anything wrong when they were just curious about the scent that was coming from Lulu. (And bullying her, Choco internally notes.)
Perv Ace pushes his way through the crowd and sits down in his seat. He says that it's only natural that Lulu is wearing perfume, because her place is a — Lulu quietly says to stop, but he doesn't hear her — beauty salon. Beauty salon? Did this city have something like that? Mai and Yuri remember that there's one near Daienji. Lulu again asks softly for Perv Ace to stop talking, but he keeps going and says the shop is right next to a cemetery. Lulu shouts his name, and the whole class goes quiet. Perv Ace apologizes. Lulu goes back to staring downwards. Mai and Yuri say that he has nothing to apologize for — or is where she lives also a private matter? Choco mentally notes that people generally figure out the area you live in even when you don't say anything. Though no one knows there's a black witch living in her house.
Mai and Yuri continue their bullying tactics and start wondering aloud if the reason why Lulu's family store is near the graveyard is because they do funeral makeup for dead bodies. That would explain why Lulu's always coming in that white dress: to mimic the white kimono Buddha would wear. Then they start implying that Lulu is actually a ghost if she's really going to disappear in a month.
This bullying continues every time Matsuoka leaves the room. Though he's now devoted to stopping bullying, he's completely unaware of what's going on. Perv Ace continues sitting like a guard next to Lulu through all of this even though he doesn't say anything, perhaps because of her scolding him before. Choco thinks that he's being rather gentleman-like and that this must have made Lulu soften towards him because she flipped over his lunch sandwich even though Mai and Yuri would've given her trouble for it if they saw her do it.
3. The Top and Bottom of French Bread
Choco reports what happened at school and says that she thinks Perv Ace is in love with Lulu. Gyubid asks her how she knows that. Choco says it's obvious, but then Gyubid gets her to admit that she has no love experience. Choco, annoyed, asks if Gyubid does, to which Gyubid immediately says yes.
Her first love was with the second son of the King of Death Eurinome: Exonome. He was a teacher while she was at the Witch Academy and was strong and fair in all his matters. She gave him a fox pelt she skinned via magic, and he was so happy with the gift that he invited her to go hiking. So they went gravedigging at a place where bodies had just been buried the previous night.
And then Gyubid made him a sandwich with dried toad and lizard, dressed with blood from a live pig. But she accidentally put the sandwich upside-down. Apparently, the bread in the Demon World is like French bread, where one side has the diagonal slashes. Except in the Demon Realm, the slashes indicate the bottom rather than the top like in the Human Realm. In both realms, though, putting the French bread upside-down is a bad omen and indicates death row convict treatment. Choco thinks about how this is just like how you're not supposed to stick your chopsticks straight up in your rice since you only do that when you're offering it to the deceased. After Gyubid gave Exonome the wrong-side-up sandwich, he didn't show anger, but he stopped talking to her.
Choco mentions that Lulu did the same flip thing to Perv Ace recently. Gyubid jumps into action and says they have to go to Lulu's house that night. She goes to make preparations and leaves Choco's room by climbing out of the window (so much for witches flying, Choco thinks), and hurts herself on the way down. Sloppy.
Gyubid comes back at 9PM with a concoction of toad, lizard, snake, and belladonna that was pulverized and simmered for four hours. She says that once it's finished cooling, Choco needs to put some on her face, arms, and legs or else she can't get close to Lulu since Lulu is a witch. Lulu is probably planning on having Perv Ace participate in the esbat, which is what they call mini versions of Witches' Sabbats (a large assembly of witches). If Choco doesn't put that mixture on places her bare skin shows, they'll think she's a human spy and eat her. Choco just says she won't go then, but Gyubid threatens to cast a curse that will make her allowance zero. Then she won't be able to buy Betsufure, Nakayoshi, or Sugar Sugar Rune. Choco says that's fine, she can just borrow it from her friends. Gyubid points out that she doesn't have friends. Choco internally agrees, but figures she can borrow from Megu. Gyubid says Megu doesn't read Betsufure, she only reads Vivi and VOCE (fashion magazines). Choco gives in. The smell of the concoction makes her think of puking.
4. The Guest of the Esbat
Choco and Gyubid make their way over in the night. Choco has gotten used to the smell, but the feeling of the sticky liquid is still gross. She asks if people they pass by will realize she's a human. Gyubid says that she cast a spell to stop their sense of smell.
They enter a dark forest with no streetlights. Gyubid has Choco walk in front into the cemetary. Choco gets scared and clings to her, but only a cat pops out. Gyubid tells her not to stick to her with her dirty arms. They look for Lulu, and Gyubid spots a dark figure standing in front of a huge grave. The figure is wearing a baseball cap. From the side, Choco can make out the overbite — it's Perv Ace. They follow him. He's walking around like he knows the place. Then his figure disappears. They hear Lulu greet him and see their shadowy figures on the path. Gyubid and Choco watch from behind a gravestone. Lulu is wearing the same dress as always, but it's glowing here.
Perv Ace isn't scared at all, and asks her what she needs from him. Lulu asks him to open up a grave. This rattles Perv Ace. He asks why, but she says not to ask her. She wants him to open up this grave. Didn't he say he'd do anything for her? She directs him to take a pole and stick it into a gap and then push the top off. Perv Ace reluctantly takes the pole from her and follows directions. Lulu giddily thanks him, and they see her figure rushing up to him. Perv Ace suddenly staggers and his face glows bright red even in the dark. He deliriously says he can't believe she kissed him on the cheek. Choco is confused because Lulu did no such thing. Gyubid explains that it's a spell that makes someone think that they were kissed. Gyubid's laughing and holding her sides now (she was snickering throughout this whole thing).
Lulu descends into the grave. Perv Ace is scared and asks what she's doing. Lulu says she's searching for bones to make an inverted cross. This grave belongs to a 20-year-old who was placed here the day before yesterday; that means their bones aren't brittle like old people's. Perv Ace asks what she needs a pendant like that for. Lulu says she's giving it to her teacher. Matsuoka? Perv Ace asks. Lulu snickers and says of course not, it's for her black magic instructor, who will arrive very soon.
Choco is speechless. Even Gyubid has nothing to say to this and is gripping her cloak tightly and staring at Lulu with her golden eyes ablaze. Perv Ace tries to duck out and run, but Lulu casts "Wacium ⬥ wacium ⬥ corire." [3] This makes the pole fly out in front of him. Perv Ace freezes. Lulu says that he can't leave yet and takes his hand and leads him back to the grave. He follows obediently, so Choco assumes he had some kind of spell cast on him. [4] Lulu leaves him standing in front of the grave and kneels before him, offering him as a monthly sacrifice to her instructor. Gyubid deduces that Lulu is trying to become a black witch without training by offering human sacrifices every month. Lulu is a poltergeist, just like the ones Choco encountered in Harajuku. Gyubid says that poltergeists can become black witches if they train, but they hate training.
Choco starts to rush in to save Perv Ace, but Gyubid pulls her back and tells her to wait until the last moment. Gyubid wants to see who this instructor is. Accepting sacrifices makes them a worthless maggot of a mage. [5]
5. The End of a Heartbreaking First Love
The instructor appears and asks Lulu if the sacrifice is ready. He's a bit confused on who the sacrifice is, since he senses other people around. Gyubid tells Choco not to move; they have the potion on them, so he shouldn't be able to sense them.
Lulu walks straight at Gyubid and Choco but passes by them. A scream comes out from behind Choco and Gyubid: It's Yuri and Mai. Lulu forces them to follow her with a spell. Her instructor scolds her for not noticing them earlier, and Lulu prostrates herself on the ground in apology. Her instructor excuses her and then asks which of these three she wants to make the sacrifice. Lulu spins around and looks Mai and Yuri over, saying that she initially wanted to make Kojima her sacrifice, but since they bullied her, that changes her calculations. She can only choose one sacrifice, though, and she wonders aloud who she should pick. Mai and Yuri stumble over excuses for why they each shouldn't be picked: Mai says that she's the class idol, mediator between the girls, and the class representative, so everyone will be sad if she disappears; Yuri says that she's not a frigid beauty like Mai, and the boys will be sad without a sweet girl like her around. Choco mentally notes that both of their reasons are equally bad. Lulu scoffs at the fact that they're fine with bullying but become so pathetic when it's their turn. Choco mentally agrees, but it's still not okay to turn them into sacrifices.
Gyubid stands up and tells Choco that it's go-time. She yells out to the group to hold it. Lulu jumps and asks who's there. Gyubid says that Lulu's not worth giving her name out to, but in summary, she's a black witch. Lulu tells her to stay out of her training. Gyubid says not to make her laugh, Lulu's just trying to buy levels with sacrifices. Actual training means doing the hard work, like this one here — and she pushes Choco out from behind her. Lulu pales, and Mai and Yuri shout, "Kurotori-san!" Choco sheepishly greets them (unclear if this is just in her head or out loud). Gyubid says that Choco is up from 5 in the morning to 12 at night cleaning and reading grimoires, working both her body and mind. So Gyubid's not about to let someone just buy levels in front of her. Lulu says that it's against the rules to interfere in another black witch's training. Gyubid says that's true, but she can't let someone she knows accept sacrifices. So from now on, she's going to be talking with her instructor.
Gyubid turns to the instructor and starts to tell them to call off the ritual but stops mid-sentence. She recognizes the instructor as Exonome. He gets flustered and turns around, claiming not to be Exonome.
Gyubid stumbles over an apology, confusing the heck out of Choco. This isn't the time to be feeling all sentimental over your first love! Choco thinks. Gyubid starts talking extremely formally and asks him not to select a sacrifice from these three, as they are friends of the black witch she's guiding. Exonome agrees and, with his back still turned, tells Lulu he doesn't need a sacrifice this month and not to meddle with these children again. Lulu asks him about her magic level, and he tells her to work on it without a sacrifice.
Choco feels like something's wrong with this situation — even if Lulu doesn't take a sacrifice this month, there's always next month. She speaks up and asks Exonome to quit taking sacrifices and stop Lulu from coming near this city again. Gyubid tries to quiet her for speaking so rudely, but Choco says she doesn't know and doesn't care who she's talking to; all she knows is that they're trying to take human sacrifices. And Gyubid said it herself: anyone who takes sacrifices is a worthless maggot of a mage. Gyubid again tries to quiet Choco, but Exonome agrees. He tells Lulu that he won't be taking any more sacrifices and that she has to work to raise her level herself. Then he disappears into vapor.
Lulu's face warps in rage, making her look like an old witch as she yells Choco's full name. She warns Choco that one day she'll knock her to the ground. Choco seems confused about this verb (たおす), even though it's a common way to say "defeat," and comments in her head that this isn't kung-fu or combat sports. Cursing all the while, Lulu runs over to the stick in the ground, jumps onto it, and launches into the sky. Choco is surprised as she hasn't seen any black witch fly before. Choco asks Gyubid if she saw that, but Gyubid has a hand on the gravestone and is saying "Prince Exonome..." sadly.
That confirms his identity, but Choco wonders why the two of them didn't exchange names earlier if it was really him. Was it because Gyubid was in a shock at seeing that he'd fallen low enough to take sacrifices from a poltergeist? Was it because he had physically turned away from Gyubid because he didn't want to let her see him like this? It feels like complicated adult stuff to Choco, but she gets that something sad has happened. And wait, Gyubid's crying. Choco is confused on how to comfort her, as she's never experienced a first love of her own.
Mai speaks up, asking if everything's okay now. Choco says probably, but she can't let them go back home yet. Mai gets scared that Choco wants to sacrifice them, which Choco internally retorts against. Choco asks Gyubid to wipe their memories. Gyubid scrubs away her tears like a kid, then turns around and squats in front of Mai and Yuri. Choco mentally apologizes as Gyubid wraps the two of them along with the soulless Perv Ace into her black coat. They yell that it reeks, which Choco notes is from the potion they slathered on themselves earlier. The three emerge from Gyubid's coat, staggering, and head towards the exit. Choco tells them to be careful in her head, noting that there's probably not any ghosts out there, but there might be some very scary cars.
Choco says to Gyubid that they should go home too, figuring that she'll try to comfort Gyubid on the way back, but Gyubid says Choco has to clean up the grave that Lulu left in a mess. So much for worrying about Gyubid. But Choco thinks to herself that it's fine since she got to know that Perv Ace was serious about his crush and she got to see Gyubid cry also. Choco wonders to herself whether she'll ever find a boy that she likes that much. If she does, though, it's going to be a regular old handsome-looking human. She'll make sure of that with the gazing technique. After all, they say that you should choose your partner seriously by looking at them deeply rather than going off of appearances. Choco resolves to try a little harder at her training from tomorrow on.
Bat: See you later!!
Personal Commentary
Don't really like the detail of Yokozuna also taking looks at Megu's miniskirt sometimes. There was no trace of that in the anime, where he only looked bothered that Perv Ace wanted to move him out of his seat. The book feels kind of "boys will be boys" about this, which is annoying.
You can really feel the budget in the anime for condensing all of this. The book mentions other classmates to shore up Mai and Yuri's classroom bossiness, but the anime just keeps it to Mai, Yuri, and Megu (who doesn't even say anything) when confronting Lulu. Which is interesting because the anime does show other classmates even in ep 1, but I guess they're all classmates that have their own eps later and not ones that you'd imagine would be Mai and Yuri's groupies. Though, honestly, with every new quirky classmate introduced in this series, you do start to wonder who those groupies even would be. You can't tell me that karate girl is standing around meekly nodding to Mai and Yuri for instance. And who are all the boys mentioned that do the no-rules dodgeball bullying in story one, and who crowd around Lulu to come to her defense in this story? There's Yokozuna, two boys randomly in love with Choco, a random Detective Conan kid, a tough aloof guy, and Oogata is also currently just in lala land with the puppet on his hand — just off the top of my head. Which or how many of these boys are supposed to be smitten with Lulu besides Perv Ace?
For that matter though, Mai and Yuri aren't really bullies in the anime. Rather, besides the initial questioning about Lulu's background, they just give Mai a few lines about getting on Lulu's case for wearing a ring. This reads more just like Mai is a sticker for rules and finds Lulu annoying rather than she and Yuri have made an active agreement to bully this new girl. I prefer that version of Mai, but I will say that seeing the bullying Mai and Yuri engage in makes Choco's comments about how she can't make enemies of the girls in her class by defying Mai and Yuri make much more sense.
In the anime, Lulu comes off as much more stoic and controlled than her presentation here in the book. Makes sense why they would do that to save on time.
We get more detail here about Gyubid's crush on Exonome, and the sandwich thing is funny, but this really only reflects even more poorly on her romantic taste. Exonome was her teacher and yet he still went on a date with her. According to character bios from Japanese fan blogs, he later apologizes to Gyubid for running off and marrying some princess of another kingdom. The amount of fail on this man. I'm glad they don't end up together. The chapter title for this last section makes it sound like Gyubid's love is over, but I remember in later episodes of the anime she still mentioned him in a crush-y way. Wonder how long it takes for her to drop this dude.
Also, Gyubid?? You're only letting Choco get 5 hours of sleep? I sure hope training to be a black witch also means that you don't need as much sleep 'cause that's evil otherwise.
In the quip about dating a human, Choco mentions the Johnny & Associates agency. I guess, if Choco at least thinks idol boys are cute, Oogata does have a chance. I don't think that goes anywhere, though.
Notes
魔神, which is like a god-like demon. I don't know if this distinction actually matters in this series though, as I don't know if there's any average 魔人 around. While I haven't met Eurinome or Ecranome, Exonome doesn't seem to necessarily have any powers that other demons do not, so I'm just leaving this translation as "demon" for now. ↩︎
This makes it sound like he has extra powers, but I think this might just be referring to the fact that he is the ruler of the Kingdom of Death. Considering that human souls seem to just fizzle out when they die, I'm not sure what "death" he could be ruling over exactly. Maybe future books will explain this. ↩︎
ワキウム・ワキウム・コリエーレ. The first two words start with "wa" and ends with "mu," though the "kiu" in the middle is the same as in Luciuge spells. Japanese fan blogs don't really know what the etymology for this is either, so it's probably just a bootleg version of Luciuge and Lulu's version of a catch-all spell. コリエーレ may be from the Latin word coorior, "to appear; to arise; to spring forth/attack." Corire is an infinitive form of this verb, but don't rely on me to conjugate Latin. Just picked this form because it ends in -re, which fits the spell pattern. ↩︎
The spell isn't the one they just heard, since that was just to make the pole fly. Maybe the kiss illusion Lulu gave him earlier doubled as some kind of enchantment? ↩︎
死霊からいけにえをもらうのは、男だろうが女だろうが、最低の魔法使いさ。 Interestingly, Gyubid specifies that their gender (man or woman) doesn't matter, and she uses the term "mahoutsukai" instead of 魔女 "majo" (witch). Later in the series, Oogata also refers to himself with this term, which me and my friend are going with "mage" for, despite having trained under a black witch. This seems to imply that "mage" is the general term for spellcaster, and "witch" is a subset of this that is gender-locked. Anime fansubs used "warlock" for mahoutsukai as an attempt to make a gender distinction, but that doesn't make sense given this sentence where Gyubid says gender is irrelevant to being a lowlife mage. We're going with "worthless maggot of a mage" for extra flair. As always, thanks to my friend @magical-pun-girl for helping me out with terms and phrasing. ↩︎
Volume 1, Story Two: A Black Witch Heads to Harajuku!
This story is adapted in Ep 6 of the anime.
1. Gratuitous Fashion [1]
It's Sunday morning and Choco is up cleaning her room again at 5AM because of Gyubid. Gyubid is bothering her about compensation for her coat, but Choco says that she can't pay her back any time soon because she doesn't have enough allowance. Gyubid asks her when she'll get her allowance: tomorrow? The day after tomorrow? Choco makes an X sign with her arms and a wrong buzzer noise.
Gyubid, suddenly feeling threatened, jumps backwards onto Choco's bed and makes an Ultraman fighting pose. Choco is confused and asks what's gotten into her. Gyubid realizes that Choco doesn't know what she's doing and comes over to straighten her arms, explaining that the X shape is known as an "Andrea Cross"[2] and it's used to call poltergeists. To do so, you make the X shape over your chest, walk 5900 steps to a gravesite, and then say, "I seek thy presence. Appear before me."[3] Choco is very interested in this as an occult nerd.
But why would that make Gyubid scared, though? Gyubid insists that she wasn't scared, just shocked. Choco thinks to herself that's the same thing. Gyubid explains that when you face a witch with that sign, you're summoning an enemy. But didn't you say that ghosts don't exist? Choco asks. Gyubid explains that she was only talking about human ghosts. Poltergeists are denizens of the Demon Realm.[4] Poltergeists appear in the Human Realm by possessing corpses; they're low-level monsters. Witches who want to make humans suffer without touching them directly can do things like use witchcraft and cast curses or summon poltergeists from graves to cut apart humans with axes and chainsaws and the like. But that's only about making humans suffer, Choco thinks. Gyubid tells her not to be stupid. Poltergeists only do terrible things and they don't even use magic. They're an embarrassment to the Demon Realm, so witches naturally view them as enemies. Poltergeists also don't like witches, so fights occur between the two of them. Choco jokes that she might try summoning some just to see. Gyubid says just try it, she'll smash them up into bits. Choco notes that she looks quite serious in comparison to her words.
Gyubid asks why Choco made that pose if it wasn't an Andrea Cross. Choco explains that she was signaling that she won't be getting her allowance tomorrow or the day after. Gyubid sighs with relief; Choco thinks Gyubid must've actually been scared. Gyubid asks her when she'll get her allowance, and Choco says probably next week, but it'll only be thousand yen. Gyubid says to give her that thousand yen as compensation. (So like, around 10 USD at the time this was published.) Choco says she can't because next week there's a new chapter of Sugar Sugar Rune, so she has to buy the Nakayoshi magazine. Besides, you can't buy a leather coat with a thousand yen, anyway. Gyubid asks when she can pay her back, then. Choco says a leather coat is probably like 100,000 yen, so it'll take her at least a hundred months. Gyubid gets red in the face and says that means that'll take 8 years and 4 months. Choco notes that she calculated that really fast. Gyubid shouts to stop screwing around. Choco tells her not to get mad; she's willing to study, but she just doesn't have the money, so just wait patiently. Gyubid makes frustrated noises at Choco's calm logic but can't say anything. Choco pretends not to notice and goes back to sweeping.
After Choco finishes cleaning, Gyubid asks her who in the house has the most money. Choco thinks, aha, Gyubid is going to try to get the money from someone else. If it gets rid of her debt, Choco doesn't care if Gyubid casts magic on someone else. Choco says it's probably her mom. Her dad earns the money, but her mom is the one who uses it. Gyubid seems to accept this easily with a nod. Choco realizes it's 7AM and says she's going to go watch her Sunday TV. Gyubid replies without much energy, which Choco thinks is weird, but cares more about her TV since Sunday is the only day Gyubid lets her watch it.
Choco's mom is watching TV with hearts for eyes for the young man in the leading role of a Tokusatsu Hero show. Choco notes that this fad (moms smitten by children's show heroes) has long passed, and her mom is always engaging in things late. She's always consuming milk and yogurt past their expiration dates also.
The bell rings and Megu pipes up loudly from the other side of the door, which makes the bell functionally useless. She's in another gaudy outfit today, with some pieces of Onee-kei style with other super childish pieces (like a big red heart badge). Choco thinks her style is so loud it would wake up anyone.
Choco asks her what's going on. Megu thinks she's asking where she got her outfit, so she starts explaining where she bought her jacket, but Choco interrupts and clarifies that she's asking Megu why she's here this early in the morning. Megu says that she was thinking they'd go shopping together. Megu was planning on shopping with her mom, but her mom suddenly came down with a fever this morning even though she was completely fine yesterday. Choco asks if Megu should be nursing her mom then. Megu says it's fine because her mom said that her being around would only raise her fever. Choco says she doesn't have any interest in fashion. This is her true feeling; even thinking about what to wear is already a pain to her. So she always puts on a T-shirt and overalls. Megu says that's just because Choco isn't familiar with fashion. If she dressed up, even if she wouldn't look as good as Megu, she'd be able to at least get Yokozuna to fall for her. Choco is mentally annoyed about how disrespectful that statement was to Yokozuna.
Choco's mom agrees with Megu that Choco could be really cute if she dresses up and hands Megu ten 10,000 yen bills. Choco is shocked, but her mom says that it's just a bonus because Choco has been working so hard by getting up early and cleaning her room. Choco thinks that this amount of money is way too much, when she realizes... wait... 100,000 yen...
Megu drags Choco out to go shopping. Choco reflexively looks back at her room's window, where she sees two yellow glinting eyes. Mentally, she yells at how this is all Gyubid's fault.
2. An Apprentice Black Witch on Takeshita Street
They arrive at Harajuku and it's jam-packed already at 10AM. Megu tells Choco that this is Takeshita Street and points out all sorts of stores. She asks Choco what style she likes, and Choco says she doesn't know. Megu explains fashion using more sophisticated and unfamiliar terms (in Kanji and Katakana), and Choco marvels at the fact that Megu isn't just locked to elementary (Hiragana) words like she is in school. This is the first time in more than 7 years of knowing each other that Megu has ever taught Choco anything.
Megu takes Choco all over the street and asks her what she thinks of different fashion they see on mannequins. Choco ends up making an X over her chest every time, and every time Megu somehow manages to relate it back to her own ability to pull of fashion. Choco doesn't really care what they get, since everything looks the same to her. It also doesn't matter since this is all a scheme by Gyubid, so Choco's task is actually to compensate her for her leather coat. Choco is getting more and more annoyed and thinking to herself that she hates humans and wants to go home. She wonders if Gyubid is following them.
Just then, a beautiful 30-year-old woman in stylish black clothes taps Choco's shoulder starts a conversation, handing her a business card that indicates that she's an editor of the monthly magazine Ora (オラ). Choco thinks that that's such an unsophisticated title ("ora" is an informal Kansai personal pronoun). The woman explains that she just started this magazine and decided on a Spanish title to compete against magazines that are using Italian (such as "Grazie"; probably a reference to Grazia). So it's actually meant to be read as "Hola."
The editor, Jirudo Rei [5], starts explaining that their magazine is going to have a page that goes over Summer Harajuku fashion, when Megu cuts in and starts explaining what she's wearing, assuming that Rei's looking for an amateur model. Rei tells her to wait her turn, turns back to Choco, and asks her to model for the magazine. Choco says that she thinks Megu is a better fit. Megu, who is pouting, agrees. She's been coming to Harajuku since 2nd grade. Rei says that Megu can help out, but she really wants someone fresh to Harajuku. Rei talks about a store Megu doesn't know about called Yamihara, and Megu gets really excited. Choco senses something is off, but she gives Rei her name. Megu chimes in, and then Rei introduces them to her cameraman, who is also dressed in all black.
3. Choco's First Skirt
Inside the store, Rei tells Choco to pick out an out with the store owner. The owner is a young woman in all white with tons of lace, which really confuses Choco because her only reference of what store owners would wear is people working at grocery stores. She's even confused at the headband that the woman is wearing and mistakes it for a towel before realizing that it's also lace.
The owner asks Choco if this is her first time with lolita. Choco has no idea what that is, so the owner explains that it's a princess-like clothing style. There's also gothic lolita, which uses a black base. She thinks that would suit Choco more. Megu chimes in and says she agrees, since Choco is a magic nerd and would look good in something witch-like. She starts to talk about what clothing would suit herself when Rei tells her to stand back since they're getting material from Choco right now. Megu says that she'll go pick something by herself then. Rei agrees that something with a high contrast with gothic lolita would be good. Choco finds it amazing Megu can't sense that she's being treated like a bother because she's so self-absorbed and even begins to admire her resilience.
Choco is presented with hangers full of white and black clothes and told to choose a dress and a jumper skirt. Choco is shocked at how her only option is a skirt — she's never worn a skirt before, at least since she can remember. She doesn't even own one. Choco decides that since gothic lolita has a black base, she can buy something for Gyubid instead to pay her back for the coat. Since Gyubid is only ever wearing the same coat, maybe it'd be better if she had something frilly and cute for once. Now having made up her mind to dodge this whole matter, Choco asks the shop owner if she has anything that would really make someone think of a black witch. The store owner says, "Of course!" and starts pushing aside hangers furiously. Choco feels like she's being treated like a princess and kind of likes it.
The store owner presents her with a black blouse and a white skirt with a large ribbon. The collar is shaped like bat wings. There's red tape lining the edges. The shop owner explains the fluttery princess sleeves, as well as other elements of lolita fashion like the pannier. Choco is confused but told to change into it with the store owner helping her. This is ultimately Choco's iconic witch outfit.
Choco leaves the dressing room and the camera man immediately starts taking shots. Rei is thrilled by how good Choco looks and starts clapping. Everyone in the store stares at Choco, making her embarrassed. Among the shoppers is a handsome man with long bangs over his eyes. Choco can feel a strong power in his stare.
Megu pops out of the next changing room in a rose pink classical lolita outfit. She explains all the elements of it but is met with a disgusted face from Rei. Megu actually notices this time and glares at Choco.
Choco is told to turn around by the cameraman and more photos are taken of her. The guy in the store keeps staring at her. Choco can't take it anymore and decides to start her exit by asking how much the outfit costs. It's 45,000 yen (something like $450 in the 2000s). That's half of what Choco expected, and she's happy about it.
Choco tells Megu that they should head back after she pays for this outfit, but Rei stops her, saying they have to take shots of her outside as well. Choco doesn't want to, as she finds the whole idea embarrassing, but she's wheedled into it.
4. The Mysterious, Handsome Man on Omotesandou Avenue
Rei says they'll take candid photos in the street. Choco doesn't get what that means, so Megu explains that it's a type of photography where the photographer takes photos from a hidden location. It's to prevent models from getting nervous and acting unnatural.
Rei hands Megu and Choco two separate routes to go on. Choco tries to read her map but it has names of places she doesn't know. Rei says that she'll stay 10 meters behind Choco. Rei also asks that they pose occasionally, when they walk, like they're excited but a little nervous to see Harajuku for the first time. Choco dreads doing this and knows she's going to be bad at it. Rei shows them the pose she wants, and it's of them crossing their arms over their chest.
Megu and Choco split up and Choco starts walking Meijidoori. Choco feels extremely embarrassed walking around in these clothes around all these people. She wishes Gyubid had taught her a disappearing spell. As she thinks that, she starts wondering whether this is all Gyubid's work too. Gyubid must have engineered this situation so that she'd come back begging to learn magic. Choco imagines Gyubid's gloating smirk and gets so frustrated she promises herself she won't give Gyubid what she wants.
Rei shouts her directions from the back. Choco notes that no one is staring at her since everyone is dressed in their own fashions. They come to an open cafe, which has fashionable people sitting under parasols in the garden, facing the street. Rei tells Choco to take a peek inside, like she's a little witch who's landed and admiring the humans. Choco internally thinks that this is nonsense, for Gyubid would never. Choco is instructed to pose in a specific way, and she finds herself following instructions.
Choco notices a stare from someone in the cafe. It's the man from before. Choco feels extremely embarrassed, especially because this guy saw her in overalls before. This man has hair covering one eye, and is laughing in a "giheehee" way... Wait a second. That's just like Gyubid's laugh.
But Gyubid wouldn't wear these clothes, would she? White jacket and pants with a navy-blue collared shirt? But the way she's laughing at Choco only confirms that it is Gyubid. Choco realizes Gyubid has been following her, presumably to confirm that Choco is paying her back. Choco suspects that Gyubid has pulled some magical strings to put Choco in this outfit to embarrass her. Choco is about to march right in there to attack Gyubid, but Rei's directions to start walking again snap her out of her anger. It would be even more embarrassing to just start whaling on someone in the middle of a busy cafe.
Choco continues visiting places and looking in their windows, and every time she sees Gyubid snickering at her. Choco resolves to make her pay when she's back home and thinks about looking into historical witch hunts for ideas. Choco reaches the last location, and all the buildings are now tall rather than small shops, there's somehow a forest in the city, and the sky has gotten all dark with clouds. Choco is still oblivious, though, thinking only about how to make Gyubid cry.
5. After 5,900 steps comes...
Rei says they're in Minami-Aoyama now. Choco gets the feeling that this is a completely different city that shouldn't be that close to Harajuku, but she doesn't know enough to be sure. There's fewer and fewer people the farther they go. Rei keeps giving specific directions, and Choco finds herself in front of Aoyama Cemetary. Choco senses something is off. Rei says that they're here because she's in gothic lolita clothing, and that this cemetary is so important that even famous people have their funerals here. Rei lifts Choco's blouse and checks a step counter attached to her lower back. They're at 5,673.
Choco is nervous. There's no more people or cars, just tall buildings and a single crow. As she turns again, the forest appears before her, with a line of gravestones. Choco's knees are shaking, but her feet keep moving, like someone is leading them.
"Remember the spell."
Suddenly, there's a voice in her ear. Choco thinks it's a ghost, but it's then it's Gyubid calling her dumb: how many times does she have to tell Choco that there's no such thing as ghosts? Choco looks around, but she only sees an old woman about 3 meters ahead. Gyubid's voice says she really is a low-level witch. The old woman lifts her face, and it's Gyubid.
Gyubid tells her again to remember the Luciuge Rofocale spell and to use it when Rei tells her to stop. Choco asks what she means, but Gyubid's voice disappears. Rei tells Choco to go in and walk about 50 steps. Choco pieces together that the device attached to her is a step counter. She adds up numbers Rei mentioned before and realizes Rei wants 5,900, the number of steps needed to summon dead spirits. Choco has been making the Andrea Cross pose this whole time.
There are 10 steps left. Rei starts counting down, excited. 3... 2... 1... In front of Choco is a huge grave stone. Rei clamps down on her shoulder with a smile and asks why she's shaking. She takes out a paper from her bag and tells Choco to read it. It says: "I seek thy presence. Appear before me." Choco asks if she has to read it aloud. If it's just for a picture, she can fake it, right? Rei's face is like an oni. "No!" she says, Choco has to read it with her voice. Rei says Megu should also be reading the slip around this time. Rei continues to order Choco to read it, but she chants "Luciuge ⬥ luciuge ⬥ rofocale!" over and over.
The grip on Choco's shoulder lessens. A boom, and then there's white smoke. Choco keeps chanting over and over until Gyubid tells her she can stop, since Jiruido Rei has already disappeared.
Choco immediately hugs Gyubid (who is now in her usual outfit). She forgets to attach "-sama" when addressing her, but Gyubid doesn't say anything about that. Choco thanks her and then asks why she's here. Gyubid says that Choco's dad got mad when he heard about Choco going to Harajuku without an adult, worried something could've happened to her, so Gyubid decided to check on Choco. And what was Choco doing? Making a bunch of Andrea Crosses. Choco recalls that she was doing that reflexively as she was saying no to all of these fashion options Megu brought up. She had attracted low level poltergeists and even stepped into their nest. It turns out that the cameraman and store employee were also poltergeists.
Choco asks why Gyubid didn't help her earlier. Gyubid says she thought Choco would notice on her own, since the things they said, like "Yami no Harajuku" (Dark Harajuku), were obviously off. Choco protests internally that she wouldn't know any better. Gyubid says that Choco doesn't need to be so mad. She thought it'd be good training for Choco, and it was such a low level poltergeist that even Choco's spell was able to destroy it in one go. Choco asks what poltergeist she would've even summoned if she had gone through with it. Gyubid asks her if she wants to give it a try and see. Naturally, Choco does not.
Gyubid says they should head back, but Choco asks what she should do about this outfit she didn't even pay for. Gyubid says that Choco should just take it as a present from a poltergeist since there isn't any curse on the clothing. And the dress suits Choco; it gives off the air of a black witch. Choco doesn't have to pay Gyubid back as long as she keeps wearing that outfit. Choco doesn't want to, but Gyubid says that, if she doesn't, she'll curse her parents and make Choco's allowance 0.
Choco remembers that Megu is also supposed to be summoning a poltergeist. She starts to run off to look for her, but Gyubid pulls her back and points. Megu is in front of a gravestone. Choco says they have to hurry, but Gyubid says they can leave her be. She'll never perform the spell, because she can't read kanji. They get closer and listen to Megu attempting the chant. She's reading it all wrong.
Bat: There's more to come!
Personal Comment Section
I think it's interesting that this is how Choco got her gothic lolita dress in the novels. In the anime, they don't bother with this and just have Gyubid present her with the outfit. Something I was never quite sure about was whether or not this outfit actually had magical properties or if Gyubid was just pulling her leg all the time for aura points, given that we see other kids do magic without having to wear a fancy outfit. (But then again, the anime was a low budget production, so what if they just didn't want to bother designing the witch outfits for them? lol) I hope the novels answer this question for me!
Gyubid GNC win. The whole compensation thing about her coat was funny.
Footnotes
Probably a play on 無用 (muyou), "unnecessary," and 無料 (muryou), "free (of price)". "Gratuitous" also has both meanings. Shoutout to @magical-pun-girl for all the terminology help this story too.
Reference to Saint Andrew's cross, with "Andrea" (アンドレア), though the JP wiki article refers to it as 聖アンデレ十字, which reads more like "Andere." Some other websites also use the -a version, though.
『我、汝を待ち望む。現れよ。』
Gyubid distinguishes between 幽霊 and 死霊, which share the same second character (spirit). Both of these basically translate to ghost, so it's a distinction unique to this series. 幽霊 (yuurei) is referring to the spirits of dead humans, while 死霊 (shiryou) are spirits that already exist in the Demon Realm and cross over to the Human Realm sometimes. Given that they're their own species of beings and to make this lore distinction clearer, my friend and I went with "poltergeist," which is from German and means "noisy spirit."
Keeping it the Japanese order of Surname Forename because her name is likely a reference to Gilles de Rais, a French rapist/murderer from the 1400s. This historical figure is used in fiction usually as a foil to Joan of Arc since they were comrade-in-arms, though historical record gives nothing on Joan's opinions about him. In Japanese, Gilles de Rais is written as ジル・ド・レ (Jiru Do Re). They wrote this character's name in kanji, 地瑠土麗, which basically is like "earth lapis dirt beauty." The earth/dirt kanji might be nodding to graves. "Rei" 麗 instead of just "re" might've been chosen because it sounds just like "spirit" 霊.
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