#guyhayniac

I don’t either I rather eat all day

Hey. So, I've never said anything about what has happened to us this past week. Instead of focusing on losing two of our family, I want to say this:

You do not need to blame yourself.

Why?

Because losing them is not your fault. Other people's pain is never your fault. Do not try and say that you didn't tell them that you cared about them enough. By simply acknowledging their presence on this planet in a respectful and positive way, you have shown them kindness and they noticed.

Also, the best thing you can do in the midst of loss is to not let those we have lost be forgotten. This includes not letting them be forgotten and lost amongst the pain you feel now. Never let the voices of those who felt their voices were never heard be forgotten about. This, I believe, is the greatest way to honor those lost: keep speaking about them positively. Remember good things about them. Let the good memories you have of them affect your lives positively.

John Green said this about dealing with pain in his novel The Fault In Our Stars. I cannot find better words myself nor do I think I could come close to finding better words: "The good times and the bad times both will pass. It will pass. It will get easier. But the fact that it will get easier does not mean that it doesn't hurt now. And when people try to minimize your pain they are doing you a disservice. And when you try to minimize your own pain you're doing yourself a disservice. Don't do that. The truth is that it hurts because it's real. It hurts because it mattered. And that's an important thing to acknowledge to yourself. But that doesn't mean that it won't end, that it won't get better. Because it will."

Let yourself miss Wes and Tiff. Let yourself cry a little. Then laugh a little. Cry some more. Laugh more. Laugh more than you cry because you know that while missing them means that you cared about them, it does not mean everything. Don't let them be forgotten among your own pain, which is important, but it will pass because it is not everything.