I love seeing him yell at other people

seen from Netherlands
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I love seeing him yell at other people

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guy who is genuinely very afraid of those stereotypical halloween witches with the big cauldron and pointy hat who go “heh heh heh”
23
Went over to this guys house yesterday cos I figured why not, I don’t wanna spend my birthday alone and I might as well get my birthday sex. It was one of those good conversations, finishing a bottle of wine and tequila, messy make out getting blacked out at some point and waking up naked asking “omg we fucked?” Which is funny cos I was trying to pull my shirt down until I realized there was no shirt and bra on me LOL. & before all this when I was waiting for him to hmu saying to come inside I was in my Uber chilling cos he was nice enough to let me wait in his car. Then he greeted me happy birthday at midnight haha fun night. & you wanna know something else that’s funny? I fucked 2 guys while fubby was on his lil trip to Vegas. now I’m getting birthday sex from him tonight but I’m all worn out..update: didn’t fuck him after all but it was coo cos my vagina needed a break. Think I need a break from guys period
disassociation
when i think of him
i look around the room and pick things I admire
a christmas tree
he loves christmas
no, i love christmas trees a red poinsettia
his favorite color is red
no, poinsettias are my favorite flower
a painting of the ocean
him and i used to go to the beach all the time
no, i love going to the water for a place to think
a piece of wood sculpted art
look at how beautiful see all the hard work put into this piece
hours of time by an artist
and just like that
he’s gone
my heart was broken last night
but like everything
life must go on
so this morning i woke up
and continued my life
i felt the cold winter wind on my face
and the snow crush beneath my feet
it was in that moment that i realized
if the earth could start again
after every cold and bitter winter it faced
i could start again
after another heartbreak
and be just as beautiful

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You say you miss the old paramore. Well, I say I miss you. </3
Guy #3 update..
That he was patrolling so he thought hed call haha we talked a little again. So here I was SUPER happy that this dude called me twice in one night! ahaha So I go to sleep all late and in the morning (this is Tuesday morning now) he calls me again! He called so I could keep him awake because he was super tired and there was traffic on the freeway home. Our call ended cuz his mom was calling him and he didnt calll me again..so I finally decide to get up about half hour later and I text him "Well Im going to get up and start my day! Hope youre home already and if youre not home then I hope you get home safely :) get some rest"... about two minutes after he replies "I love you too baby..im home" LMAO (it still makes me laugh now that I write it) ahahahahaha I didnt automatically text back but then get another text saying "lol fuck did I just say i kove you im tripping lmao im goig to sleep sorry kinda weird" ahahahaha i replied "cute" and he replied "not cute..weird" and then he texted me about an hour later and blah blah blah I then texted him later that day cuz he had told me to wake him up and yada yada...since then we havent talked too much.. I dont want to be upset but I am kinda bothered idk.. With how little hes talked to me today Ive been doubting everything cuz im such a cynical person and I always look for a bad -__- like how many girls is he talking to other than me? was that weird 'i love you' text for someone else? IDK...just updating you guys haha