i invent guys

guy who keeps forgetting the word for “truck” 

guy who goes to the grocery store just to strip the paint off the walls in the bathroom

guy who keeps showing people the exact same unfunny snoop dogg meme over and over again 

guy who genuinely thinks that if you cut if your arm it’ll grow back

guy who wears really huge novelty sunglasses and gets really mad whenever anyone laughs 

guy who doesn’t know how to cross the street 

guy who likes the feeling of sand under his fingernails and does it on purpose 

guy who uses the pokemon card generator for hours a day daily just generating pokemon cards. he has thousands of them

guy who dresses completely normally except for every morning he styles his hair to look like he got electrocuted 

guy who only dates people who are the exact same height as him down to the inch

guy who has a crush on the scrubbing bubbles mascot 

guy who makes videos of himself smoking weed and then posts it to Vimeo 

guy who only specifically steals those weird little white purse dogs from the yards of rich people 

guy who is genuinely very afraid of those stereotypical halloween witches with the big cauldron and pointy hat who go “heh heh heh”

guy who keeps impulse buying more pet leeches 

guy who works 2 jobs just so he can buy more vacuum cleaners