This is fine. Your blog is just like⌠single handedly dragging me back in and breaking my heart and making me want to watch 15 seasons worth of pain again. This is fine. Iâm fine. đ
:) is it an inappropriate response to say good? i'm glad you're enjoying yourself!! sam and dean have a very special hold on my heart and i'm never going to shake it, probably because i'm a sucker for punishment, haha.... it hurts so good đ
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So hereâs the thing. I havenât tied anyone up in weeks. I havenât mentally or physically reamed anyone in aaaaages. Who am I? WHat is the point? Why am I even here. 42?
Hello, friend. I hear your pain, and oh-boy, do I have a solution!
Itâs called Killian Jones⢠and it is the scientific communityâs answer to all those pesky times in your life when you lack the time or even the energy to whump anyone yourself.
How does it work? Simple. Killian Jones⢠works tirelessly in the background, while you go about your business and live your life, actively whumping himself for your enjoyment.
Is there a car in motion somewhere? Heâll stand in front of it. Is there a standing body of water or stagnating kiddie pool somewhere nearby? Heâll almost drown in it. Have some comically large rope handy? Never worry, you wonât even have to tie him up yourself - heâll do it for you!
How is such an amazing feat possible? Well, the fantastic self-whumping technology behind Killian Jones⢠is in part due to recent developments in time travel. Through the wonders of Time Shenanigansâ˘, our latest Killian models are capable of sending themselves back and forwards in time in order to literally whump themselves at any given moment.
However, we also know that self-whump isnât up everyoneâs alley, so each and every Killian Jones⢠also comes backed with 24-hour fandom support. A friendly and active group of fans is waiting on standby, needing only the slightest provocation (or, really, none whatsoever) to leap into action and provide all the whumpy fanfic, fanart, headcanons, and prompts that your heart could ever possibly desire.
Amazing!!!
Now, you might be saying to yourself, âThatâs great, KW, but how much does something like this cost?â And I hear you, my friend. With the impressive specs and extensive feature list that Killian Jones⢠boasts, one could expect to spend a pretty penny for the honor of experiencing one.
But no! Killian Jones⢠is 100% FREE!!!
Thatâs right! Everyone can enjoy the wonder and whump of Killian Jones⢠for absolutely no cost at all. All you need is an active internet connection and access to any one of several popular websites (AO3, Tumblr, Fanfiction.net, etc) and you, too, can be sailing the high seas of pirate whump!
So act now and get in on the fun! Killian Jones⢠is standing by, waiting to be whumped by one and all - and eager for that whump to be enjoyed by others, regardless of whether they do any whumping themselves or not!
Whumping Killian Jones⢠- You canât afford not to!
constellation: the brothers jones (are you sensing a theme)
constellation: what you said after all the pieces came together.
Okay, you all know how I pretend to live in a universe where Liam and Killian were adopted by Nemo and Shakespeare and everything turned out semi-okay for them? Well, Iâm going to contribute more to that universe because there is literally only so much angst I can take. So hereâs like 1,500+ words of the Jones Brothers meeting Shakespeare.
Silverâs ship is attacked in the late afternoon by the most bizarre looking sky ship that Liam has ever seen. Well, itâs the only one heâs ever seen, but he hadnât realized they would look so peculiar. He doesnât allow himself to ponder on this long however, considering the bombardment of canon fire hurtling towards them. Instead he grabs Killianâs arm and yanks him down below into the underbelly of the ship. Itâs a cowardâs move but Liam has no desire or will to defend the lives of the men who have enslaved him and his brother.
Killianâs eyes are as wide as saucers and he looks more terrified than he did the morning they discovered their father was gone. He hasnât said a word since the attack started but his fingers shake violently under Liamâs as if his bones are trying rattle their way out from underneath his skin.
They hide in the hull behind the barrels of rum and beer, resting themselves against the crates of ill-gotten gains Silver has acquired over the past few weeks.
âWeâre going to die today, arenât we?â Killian asks quietly, eyes trained up at the ceiling as they listen to the fighting on the deck above them.
âIâm not going to let anything happen to you,â he replies firmly. âI made a promise to Mum to look after you and I intend to keep it.â
âPapa made that promise tooâŚâ Tears trickle down Killianâs cheeks and the sight of them makes Liam furious for more reasons than one.
âWell, Iâm not Papa, am I?â he snaps. âIâm going to keep you safe. Do you understand me?â
Killian nods, but his eyes avert from Liamâs gaze. It hurts far more than it should. Liamâs fingers curl into fists and he isnât sure who he wants to hurt the most in the moment â his brother for not believing him or the men above for wanting to hurt them.
Both brothers flinch as the hatch bursts open above them and the ladder whines as bodies start to climb down it. They duck their heads in hopes of being undiscovered. Liam automatically places a hand over his younger brotherâs mouth to keep him for whimpering too loudly.
âBest come out and face your fate like a man,â a voice calls out. âWe can see your foot behind the rum.â
Liam draws a sharp before, glancing down at their feet. Itâs then that he notices that Killianâs ratty shoe is visible. He taps down his frustration as tears start rolling down his little brotherâs cheek, puddling onto Liamâs hand.
âCome out!â The voice commands again. âYou donât want me to come over there!â
Killian looks up at Liam with a resigned look on his face that belongs to a much older person and has no place on a seven-year oldâs face. He shifts to move out from their failed hiding spot.Â
âDonât!â Liam whispers, shaking his head. âThey could be buffing!â
For the first time in his life, Killian doesnât listen to his older brother. He pushes his hands away and crawls out, shaking like a leaf and trying so hard to make a show of bravery he doesnât have. Liamâs heart hammers in his chest and everything inside him screams as he turns to watch his little brotherâs fate. Heâs caught between wanting to save his brother from these invading pirates and wanting to save his own skin.
Pirates, unruly and menacing with their sharp swords and snarling faces, seem taken aback by the small child that appears in front of them. They donât jeer at him like Liam expected, but stare at him with the same fascination Liam had seen on his schoolmatesâ faces when they had discovered a litter of kitties newly born behind the schoolhouse. The one that seems to be in charge, a man with silver hair and wearing a brown long coat, sheaths his sword and looks at Killian with a puzzled expression.
âAnd who are you supposed to be?â
âKillian.â
âAh, Killian.â The man repeats his name as if heâs testing how it sounds. âA good name for a young man. How old are you, Killian?â
âIâm sevenâŚand a halfâŚâ
âThatâs quite a young to be at sea,â the man comments, stroking his chin. âAnd what brings you onto this ship?â
âIâŚâ Killian looks overwhelmed by the question, squirming in his spot and looking down at his shoes.Â
The manâs frown deepens, an indent forming between his brows as he regards Liamâs brother with a strange expression.
âIs your father on board, Killian?â he asks, changing tactics.
âNo,â he answers immediately. âPapa sold me for a row boat.â
A buzzing of anger emits from the pirates who share looks of disgust. A trickle of fear runs down Liamâs spine and he shifts to get his feet out from underneath. He has a small butter knife in his shoe. It wonât be do much, but Liam wagers if they go for Killian, he could potentially cause some damage to one or two by taking out their eyes.
The man questioning Killian raises his hand to silence the men behind him. Itâs quite clear he holds a lot of authority and Liam would wager the rest of his meager possessions that heâs the captain of the sky ship.
âSo, youâre a slave?â
âAn indentured servant,â Killian corrects hotly, his cheeks coloring as he speaks.
âAh, sorry, an indentured servant. A rose by a different name,â the man says before digging a hand into one of the various pockets on his coat. âDo you like candy, Killian?â
Killianâs eyes light up as alarm bells go off in Liamâs brain. Heâs seen this ploy before, even been at the end of it. It rarely goes well. Men donât offer things out without wanting something in return; a cruel bit of reality that Liam has done his best to shield his little brother from.Â
He canât allow this to happen.
âNo!â he shouts, revealing himself and leaping over the barrels. He takes a position in front of Killian, shoving his younger brother roughly behind him. He holds up the butter knife as it were a real one.
The man looks bewildered by him, eyes darting between Liamâs face and Killianâs.
âAnd who might you be?â
âThatâs Liam!â Killian pipes up.
âStop talking,â he hisses.Â
âYouâre brothers, arenât you?â the man asks, face softening.Â
Liam doesnât respond, only raises the butter knife higher. He tries to keep a brave face despite the violent trembling of his arm.
âDo you really think you can take us all out with that, boy?âÂ
âNo, but that doesnât mean I canât try. I would rather die than let you hurt him.â
âWho said anything about hurting anyone?â the man question in surprise, eyebrows raising to his hairline.
âWeâre not idiots,â Liam responds. âWe know youâve killed most of the crew to get down here and youâre going to take the rest of our valuables and slaughter us all.â
âYou have a very vivid imagination. Has anyone ever told you that?â
He doesnât answer him, only narrows his eyes in response. He feels Killian move behind him and automatically throws back his arm to keep him from leaving the minute wall of safety offered by Liamâs body.
âYouâre a brave young man,â the man says. âBraver than most men. And youâre smart too. Itâs hard to find anyone who is both brave and smart these days. You either have brave morons or smart cowards.â
Liam bites back the smartass response he has dying in the back of his throat.Â
âYouâre smart enough to know there are only two ways out of this,â the man continues gently. âEither you stay here, stranded on a ship with no food and no provisions or you come aboard the Caspertine with us.â
âAnd be slaves again,â Liam mutters bitterly under his breath.
âNo,â the man responds gruffly. âNot slaves. I have no interest in owning anyone.â
âThen what exactly do you want?âÂ
âTo shape the future,â the man responds. âAnd youâre it.â
Liam doesnât quite understand what he means by this, but Killian appears to be done with this entire conversation. He shifts out from behind his older brotherâs body and eyes the old man questionably.
âDo you really have candy?â
The old man barks out a loud laugh, taking his hand out of his back and revealing small wrapped squares that look a lot like the taffy packages Liamâs seen in stores around various ports.
âYes, my boy, I have lots of candy. Unfortunately, this old pirate has a sweet tooth that canât be tamed.â
âOkay, Iâll go with you!â
âKillian! No!â Liam is half-frustrated, half-horrified.
âWhat? Heâs right. Itâs either be here with dead people or go with them. And they have candy,â he responds, popping the taffy into his mouth and smiling up at the old man. âWhatâs your name, mister?â
âShakespeare. Captain Theodore Johannes Alberic Shakespeare, my boy.â
send me a word + a pairing and iâll write you a short fic! đ
Lynyrd: :May be currently working on a Klaroline dragon au in which the dragons meet and bond over debating the merits of GMO princesses and also probably have a kitten:
I know this is supposed to be you being me... but this is also a valid prompt. I want you to recognize that. Â
Someday, Iâll write a pro-GMO fic. I wonât give anyone a forewarning. By the end, youâll hate me, but also hate that stupid Triscuits commercial.Â
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Milah. Iâm still not over it. Milah deserved better BOTH TIMES. Just the devastation on Killianâs face and the way she says I love you one last time. Iâd spend hundreds of years trying to avenge her too!
UGH. And itâs just compounded by the fact that she was murdered twice. And the second time I really wasnât ready for it.Â
5. Killian or David? & 29. Liam or Killian?
Killian. Itâs always going to be Killian. As much as I like the others itâs always Killian. Actually if Iâm being honest I donât much care for Liam and even less after S5. So the order is Killian, David, Liam.Â
18. What is the saddest non-death scene?
Firebird goodbye. They get to that elevator and just you know this is it and you know Emma canât take it. The way they both are concerned about the other. Killian doesnât want her putting up her walls and she wants him to move on. Then add the tears and the crying. The desperation in their body language as they cling to each other for one last time. The kiss through the bars! The slow clank of the elevator and holding hands until the last possible moment mirroring how she held his hand as his body was wheeled away.Â
HIS FACE!
And then that last lingering shot of him, alone, in Hell, staring up into the black void. Just.Â
I think I blocked that entire thing from my memory until now. So THANKS.Â
Ask me about OUAT (repeat a number and Iâll give a different answer...)
Look, all I did was point out that the ruckus from next-door distracted me from my pancakes and I think a gentleman would make that right! But nooooooo. Your brother is in a *particularly* foul mood today!
A tinny melody buzzed at the edge of his consciousness.
An alarm. No. A phone. His phone
He jerked, reaching for it in the dark to shut it off before it woke the whole house. He was stiff, sore, and upon opening his eyes, realized abruptly that he was not in Liamâs flat. He shifted again, noting the handcuffs that bound his arms behind the chair he was sitting on.
Liam stood in front of him, unnaturally still. No one else was in the room with them and for a moment Killian felt relief. Then he met Liamâs eyes. Distant and unfocused, it was as though Killian was not even there, or perhaps as though he could not pull his focus from a spot on the blank wall to his left.
âIf you donât let me answer theyâre just going to keep calling,â Killian commented.
For a moment Liam didnât move. Then stiffly, he bent to unlock his right arm.
âDonât be clever,â a voice that wasnât quite Liamâs warned him before the cuff clattered to the ground.
The person on the other end of the call managed to garner very little of his attention, babbling something about breakfast and being a gentleman.
He could ask for help.
And put his brotherâs life in the hands of an occasionally trigger happy SWAT team.
A familiar weight at his hip informed him he was still armed and his eyebrows furrowed. Whoever was making the decisions here was either extraordinarily stupid, or didnât give a damn if Liam survived.
âYour brother is in a particularly foul mood today.â
âI daresay he is. But Iâm a bit tied up at the moment. Let me call you back.â
If this course of action met with his neighborsâ approval was unclear. But if the flash of anger in Liamâs eyes was any indication, it did not meet with his.
I always wonder how the people upset with you always find your posts. You always tag. So now It amuses me to imagine thereâs a bunch of people that just check you out every once in a while just to make sure youâre not out of line. Rofl
Well, I always tag....in some fashion
:shoves the best organisation system under the bed: I mean --
NOTHING! NOTHING TO SEE HERE! CAPTAIN SWAN PERFECT TRUE LOVE BABY HOPE BLONDE ADORABLE. ALL IS WELL.