#iwtv#interview with the vampire#the vampire armand#amc tvl#assad zaman
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Guldurphen (elf wizard): *singing I’m the map to self*
DM: Is that in character?
Guldurphen: (sarcastically): Yeah, I’m just suddenly Dora the Explorer.
DM: Okay, you take a -5 penalty to all rolls for the rest of the adventure.
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Guldurphen (elf wizard): See, both of those plans sound reasonable, logical, and like something we should actually do. When you say “I need to convince Guldurphen” I expect the plan to be “Let’s fuck a bumblebee”.
DM: Chaotic neutral means that sometimes he’ll be unpredictably sensible.
Mio (elf ranger): We could dig a tunnel.
Guldurphen (elf wizard): That sounds like a lot of work.
Mio: We have a bear with us.
Guldurphen: Do you know anything about bears?
DM: No, guys. The bear belongs to Grunt and since Grunt isn’t here this week the bear does...?
Domri (gnome barbarian): Nothing of note?
DM: That’s the one.
DM: So what are you going to do now?
Guldurphen (elf wizard): (with swag) We look for a crispy waffle bitch.
Domri (gnome barbarian): I have an idea. And this time it’s a good one.
Guldurphen (elf wizard): Every time you say that I doubt you more.
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Guldurphen (elf wizard): Do I have your permission to perform a post-mortem autopsy on you?
MeIAm (halfling ranger): No!!
Domri (gnome barbarian): What would a pre-mortem autopsy be?
Guldurphen: Vivisection.
MeIAm: Or surgery, geez.
M (playing MeIAm): Sorry, I was thinking about Jim the Eagle.
Ciaran (playing Domri): Who is Jim the Eagle?
M: He was still wearing his pyjamas when he went to save Dinglemouse.
Domri: Ah, yep.
Noelani (playing Guldurphen): I like how you said that like it would clear anything up.
Noelani (playing Guldurphen): (to M) You’re so pure. Like, okay, you’re not at all pure. But sometimes you say things and I’m just like “So small.”
