#gtxt.ask

i like when pairings are cute and fun and also when they hurt me and themselves and don't work out and it's all just gone to shit. it's all bad. but i also like when they are cute and fun. i like when they were always meant to work and when they were never going to work and also when they are just normal. my range #myrange. also i don't know if my aromanticism #myaromanticism is showing but it's there and definitely playing a part

honestly i have a clearer list of pairings i don't care for than ones that i like because i'm pretty open minded about these things i think. show me most things and i will nod and thumbs up. but for the ones i am Sure i enjoy (mostly determined by if i've actively engaged) (in no special order):

neymar jr/lionel messi: neymessi. they hurt me. i have a safeword with a friend of mine for when discussing them gets too painful. hurting me all the time. i think about them and my day gets worse. soulmates to me. i rip off my shirt to reveal another shirt that says I LOVE NEYMESSI. it is important to me that luis suárez is there too not really on their same bullshit but still as a witness/victim/participant. a bit more than everyone else in their social circles #BackInTheDay

marco reus/robert lewandowski: leweus (sometimes lewareus). robert is on this list a lot 😞 these guys also hurt me. badly. i think about them and my day gets way worse. hate them. i rip off my shirt to reveal another shirt that says I HATE LEWEUS. i hate them. i hate leweus. they were always supposed to happen to each other. sometimes i think about all the voicemails you sent me that i just deleted. i'd listen to them now. Or something lol. and they ☺️ might ☺️ happen again ☺️ NOW ☺️ Haha ☺️

ferran torres/pedri gonzález: fedri. of course you are now familiar but i have to mention them ... they don't agonize me very much but they're very enjoyable :-) their friendship #theirfriendship

lamine yamal/pau cubarsí: paumine (also cubamal and some others but i'm picky about the names). these two are just very sweet to me. there is some good room for them to hurt me like with the fic kiseki by my incredible mutual (!!!) @/kisekii. best friends for over a decade (since la masía), lamine is the one the spotlight is always on but pau is the one he always looks for thank you. something about how it's hard to make out faces in the crowd when the light is on you but haha oh well. i have to be someone else with everyone else but i never aged with you. the one who knew him before it all and hopefully will know him after (goes both ways)

lewandowski/wojciech szczęsny: lewytek. they're fairly low stakes to me. tek is the one watching, the one following, the one knowing (pau core ☺️ goalie/defender curse.) and robert is the one looking, the one walking, the one leaving. hate him! robert the asker (who doesn't realize everything he's given. who is moving despite it) and tek the giver (who knows exactly what he's given. he knows exactly what he's asked. he'd do both again). anyway they're fun they're friends! i Thiiink they met playing for the national team (poland) but they might've met earlier. i'm rusty on that. tek was more or less retired when barcelona called him to join as their 2nd goalkeeper (dude had his house in the mountains and all) and lewandowski was there to help convince him to come out of retirement and play for his club. their videos together are very fun to watch they banter sooo much. they were the only polish + late 30s men when playing for barça together and were very much mentors for the younger team but got to be petulant stupid little brothers with one another. when the friendship is letting you be who you used to ☺️! when the friendship is Making you be who you used to.

joan garcía/eric garcía: joaric. joaric is kind of like fedri to me. fathers of pau btw. traditional catalan family. i've read a lot of good stuff about them even if they do not wound me that's okay

jude bellingham/erling haaland. i don't know if they have a name it's probably something silly sounding but what isn't really. they're also low stakes to me i just think they're cute ☺️ they played for dortmund together and get to meet still for the champions league. i'm writing a fic with them currently so yeah i'd hope they're on this list

sergio ramos/luka modrić: i think they're called lukamos. sorry to the rest of the lukamos* nation if i'm lying there. you don't even know how we used to run ... they're best shown in photos like that one of sergio pressing luka against a car for some reason than words. also kind of low stakes but it is football so they still get the bittersweet loss to time. i love(d) you. i miss you. our timezones are different now but i still listen to your voicemails.

also very passionate about 2 of my robert rarepairs. stuff exists for them! if you can believe it! but nobody else is really on lewandolli (raphinha/robert) and whatever they're gonna be called probably some stupid bullshit like Frenkbert (frenkie de jong/robert) quite like me. and my friend who wrote one of the very few lewandolli fics. for our family. #bullshit

okay then there's this category i call the german orgy. it's just a bunch of people from prime bayern (müller, neuer, kimmich, hummels, goretzka, lahm, hell even bastian. let everyone in. ... and of course lewandowski. etc). these guys are a lot of mix and match to me. it's kind of like vague hand waving in that direction and i'm like Yeah. Yeah

and okay i have to mention friendships that can i guess go either way but i still care about them the same: fermín & gavi (rip), gavi & pedri, gavi & ferran, fermín & raphinha, raphinha & koundé, marcelo with literally anyone, phil foden & ferran, ERIC & FERRAN, messi & kun, etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc sorry colombia v. GHANA 🇬🇭 is on i'm losing my grasp

is it rpf if i say robert and his actual wife. because robert and his actual wife (anna lewandowska). every day i think wow they're great they should get married and then i remember they are and have 2 kids like ok great good job you two ✊ killing it

fedri is ferran torres and pedro "pedri" gonzález. they met in 2019 through i think an ad campaign?? through their shared agency. maybe. i'm sure about their shared agency but don't hold me to the ad campaign thing because my memory and search engine are not being clear rn

they're by no means a crackship or rarepair because these guys are Visibly best friends lol. a big foundation of their pairing is that they're very openly affectionate together in ways slightly beyond the usual attitudes in spain. ferran especially is really tactile with pedri (plenty of clips of him just feeling him for no real reason during training for example) (some cuter than others. we are trying to run drills can you please stop pinning your friend to things). if you look up them meeting for example a bunch of videos and articles just come up about them being together all the time because they literally are. you know the world won't stop spinning if you don't hang out right

i am a #ferrantruther so i can speak on him the most. any interview where he is asked for the best midfielder, best of the generation, best on the team, etc etc etc this hapless loser (❤️) always answers pedri. his brain is a film reel just playing pedri. i'm only partially kidding he's got plenty of insight about other people and football in general but the amount of compilations of him being asked something and then thinking and saying "...pedri." come on man.....

ferran is outgoing and emotional whereas pedri is slightly more reserved and controlled. we love a parallel. speaking of parallels there's this one recentish photo of them sitting side by side for a team photoshoot that just lives rent free in my head. he's still a footballer so as far as big men go ferran is definitely not super high on the list but compared to pedri ????????? i mean what's better than your best friend who could snap you in half. forget their height difference is anyone seeing these shoulder widths. i'm not even that big on height diffs it's just fascinating to look at to meOK WAIT there was actually an interview where pedri willingly just said "he throws me around like a ragdoll" talking about training with ferran on the resistance bands. what called for that. i mean yeah he does i've seen the clips #justiceforpedri but what called for that. anyway other assorted thoughts:

what's a fedri fic without a jealousy arc. what's a fedri fic without a MUTUAL jealousy arc. pedri has a lot of "work husbands" and ferran is an emotional man who usually gets jealous at least once. and Everybody Loves Ferran so it's not like pedri is limited either. though they do it kind of differently. ferran is usually written as very aware of his own issues (plentiful) (we love when he's open about seeing a therapist to better and understand himself) and often embarrassed of them or trying to carry on as normal. this tends to fail. pedri (more "professional" if you will) on the other hand gets flat evil in the rare event that ferran places someone else above him on the priority list

support beam dynamics 🌈 pedri supports ferran through his performance anxiety, and through events in his life like goal droughts or selling rumors. ferran supports pedri, period. i haven't actually ever read anything where pedri had a career concern (because he's pedri), but ferran is the one with a heart too big to help him through everything else

they're apart of the same friend group i forgot to mention that. really a delightful group (team domino) as far as dynamics in general go. there's at least 2 big pairings from it (fedri and joaric. 🚬........joaric.....💨)

we love a friends since teenagers will they won't they

there's also a clip somewhere (i couldn't possibly locate any of these anymore btw please don't get excited 💔 actually maybe on my sideblog. hey mutual do u want my sideblog. Anyway we'll see) of pedri in the context of their first meeting talking about begging ferran to leave manchester city and join barcelona when they started considering him