#growingtoofast

Theodore James is FOUR!

My little man turned four and I cannot be gratefull enough for having him on my life. I was so scared at first when Chris told me he was coming to love with us, I was 17 and I alredy was pregnant with Evie, he was this shy 1 year old who did nothing without his dad and Christian was working and in college and it was so difficult for me to make him trust me but he did and the first time he called me mommy I almost passed out lol

Theo is such an amazing boy, an amazing big brother. He helps me on everything with his sister and he protects her more than everything. He loves music, he's so artistic but also loves baseball. He is charming, polite, kind and humble, he treats everybody so well people fall in love with him.

She is no longer a blob. A blob that closes her eyes while she feeds, poops and pees every hour, and sleeps soundly like a baby.

She is now a eyes wide open, hand grasping, chunky monkey who likes to whip on and off the boob and wriggles like a worm. And we have to be quiet like a mouse because she’s turned into a light sleeper.... *sigh*.

She is turning into her own little person. 

A little person with separation anxiety and voices her likes and dislikes

One who knows how to smile, tracks me around the room with her eyes like a stalker, blows bubbles with her mouth and kicks like she is preparing for kickboxing championships. 

She is growing into her own. 

My little baby... growing way too fast. 

My heart hurts and is joyful at the same time. 

I have a feeling motherhood is constantly mixed with these two emotions constantly.

I just need to remind myself for every single moment.

Oh.... and teething.... she’s started teething. The drool, the red blotchy cheeks, and the fussiness. 

AKIRA- “So did you talk with your dad?”

EVIE- “Yes, he said he would “think” about it. He won’t do it.  He doesn’t understand that I am not like normal girls. I have slowed down, but I am still older than most of the girls in my class.”

AKIRA- “He understands, Evie...it’s just that you didn’t get to be a little girl for very long. It is different, but he does understand. I think he is talking to your grandmother tonight about it.  She called him earlier and asked him to come over and he told me he was going to see what she thought about you going to college, here and then transferring later to Windenburg.”

EVIE- “Oh thank goodness...I know she understands.”