#group problems

So, I've mentioned before that I've recently joined an AO3 fanfic writers group on Facebook. I'm really starting to think that this was a TERRIBLE idea. Everyone is just so angry and figuratively SPITS on everyone's posts. I'm actually gun shy of sharing my own work on this page because of how mean everyone is to one another.

Like????

We're all doing this as a hobby/side project/just for fun/distraction/whatever.

We all put dedicated hours and thought into our work.

But there's a part of me that wants to ask: Why are you all so angry at fellow writers?

Maybe it's because I'm new and naive to the scene, but for fucks sake. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and feelings. But seriously the pure seething anger in these comments...it's really disheartening.

I think I need to leave this group behind. Or is this just how it really is in the fanfic writing community?

Me: *knows that group mates make crappy output and true nature*

Me: Yeah mom. You're right

So there is this guy in my tabletop group that has been slowly making game night not fun anymore. The sad thing is I can’t discuss it with him because he is not able to engage in adult conversation. Here is my story.

When I first met him he was at my other tabletop group. He threw dice at someone for properly roleplaying their character. About 6 months later (maybe a year later) he got angry at the DM for screwing with his character. To put it in context, we plays GURPS at this group. He put ‘weirdness magnet’ on his character sheet. That means weird things happen to you at DM’s discretion. So we had just killed this mob and then at the last second the staff went off on its own and turned the said person’s race. The DM didn’t say it was permanent, just said it happened. He immediately acted like a child over it. When we tried to discuss about the consequences of him putting weirdness magnet on his character sheet, he argued it to the point no one cared anymore and we just wanted to move on. He eventually left the game later by throwing a temper tantrum and slamming the door behind him. Someone in our group min maxes their character. Its game legal but some people find if frustrating. But this incident I agree with the min max person.

What happened was we were stuck on stairs that a small waterfall was going down. So we were all at a disadvantage to move to the boss and engage in melee. Our min max player had an archer ally and our problematic player was a melee fighter. So, our archer was able to hit the target with range disadvantages and kill him. He had dumped a bit of his own points into his ally’s range skill. Our problematic player expressed irritation, the mix max player began to discuss with him in a calm manner. I don’t remember exactly what was said to upset the guy, but it went from a friendly discussion to him yelling and promptly leaving. It was ugly but I was relieved after he left.

Unfortunately, he was still in the game I was hosting at my house. I have to put up with him insulting my home country (he makes comments about the USA that are untrue and makes comments about Americans that are untrue), our last campaign he took all the loot that was useful to my character (he immediately took all the gem loot because he was a dragon race so he felt he had some right to gems, when I said this was not ok he gave me a dirty look), and than last night we were arguing over combat order. We were trying to explain to him whose turn it was and he wasn’t listening. When it was over I was exasperated and went “*sigh* god”, and he turned and looked at me and said, “you know, sometimes the way you act I don’t want to come to the game”. I ignored him and continued to play. I should say by this time I had had discussions with my husband about how to deal with him because I couldn’t have friendly discussions with my fellow group members because he is egotistical and always has to be right to the point he doesn’t listen. So I ignore him at games and don’t engage with him at all. I also don’t allow him to elect himself party leader and try to keep him from taking loot. He doesn’t like this and gets upset.

I’ve been trying to be really nice and not kick him from the group (I host the group at my house), but I am not having fun anymore. We are going to put the group on hold in December because I work 6 days a week during Christmas (I’m pretty stressed and unhappy in December), I don’t don’t know if I want to continue the game after December.