Feb 19, 2022
my classmate’s uncle died recently.
and is it bad that i’m jealous of how loudly he grieves? how fiercely he lets himself go through each stage at his own pace, how easily he admits that he’s going through shit right now. how comfortable he is asking for his space to process things, how easily he finds the balance between letting people in to help him but not broadcasting it to the entire school.
because honestly, i know i’ll never get over this if i don’t grieve, if i don’t let myself sit in these feelings. the problem is that i can’t. how do i hold my heart when it’s this heavy. how am i supposed to function under these conditions.
but he takes up all the space he needs and i’m jealous, i’m so fucking jealous, that he lets himself do that.
