#greenwitching

You kept paddling as you considered the rest of your day–was it a good day for trinket hunting? Your hoard could always use new shiny things, but you were also feeling quite uninspired. Perhaps, then, you would be sated by pooping in a few new places to keep the humans on their toes. They made the most delightful honks when they found your gifts for them.

You wiggled your webbed feet. It must be awful to have toes. 

How odd, you thought, when you realised the background noise of the gosling-humans had ceased. It made quite good pondering music for when you plan your shenanigans. Curiosity piqued, you waddled out of the lake and headed towards where you had last seen the gosling-humans, displeased by the tomfoolery happening in your kingdom without your consent.

An awful sound filled your ears, a shrill honking that made your feathers ruffle so you followed it, straight to the place you often saw the humans twirling around with the pointy metal sticks. You waddled into the courtyard with purpose, head held high as your beady eyes took in the situation before you. 

The awful shrill honking was coming from a human leading other humans in black and red, and you shifted your wings in anger. How dare they come squawking in your kingdom wearing your mothers colours like they owned the place! They did not. You did.

Your mother looked angry, and so did the other humans you generously let live in your realm. Especially the one who always wore the pretty fabrics you dearly desired for your own nest. She looked far more displeased than usual. How dare these invaders ruin your day, and upset your humans. Your goose brain was quick, and it was smart. You knew what to do. 

Your mother looked surprised when she saw you waddle behind the shrill honker, but there was a gleam in his eyes you understood well. It was a gleam that said trouble, and it was your favourite one. Last time you had seen that look in his eye, he had graciously allowed you to enter the Forbidden Place you had desperately craved to explore. That had been a good day.

You shifted excitedly, smug with the knowledge you were about to create mayhem. You loved mayhem. And you were going to make your mother proud, so proud you would be given a feast of vegetables and seed and everything your goose heart desired, just like the Forbidden Place day. 

You sifted through the feathers at your chest, looking for the item you had stashed there a few days ago, when you were exploring your mothers nest for treasures. He was messy, your mother, and he often left perfectly good treasure lying around for you. This one was one of your favourites, and you honked with success as you plucked the yellow paper from its hiding place. 

Your humans still looked angry, but now they also looked a little confused. Good. You liked to surprise them.

The shrill honker had turned around and spotted you, flapping her featherless arms at you and honking in the way that your mother did when he was happy, but you knew this wasn’t the same. She was mocking you. Mocking made you angry. 

You hissed at her, stretching your neck and showing off your wings, how big you were. She would regret mocking you.

A frission of heat swept through your gut as you focused, and then an array of bright glowy things spewed forth and scattered through the bad humans, and it only took a moment of awe from your humans until they kicked into gear and finished the job while you hissed and bit at all the bad people you could reach.

Humans were always so surprised when they realised you had teeth. 

It was excellent.

---------

When all was said and done, Jiang Cheng was resting with his brother on the pier as they gazed out at the lake, watching a gleeful goose paddle and splash as he kicked at the fish below the surface, red stains slowly slipping from his white feathers.

“What the fuck,” he muttered again, rubbing a hand across his face. “So you’re telling me you genuinely had no idea your weird goose baby knew how to use talismans?”

Wei Wuxian, for once, looked just as stunned as he did. 

“Well, he sits with me sometimes when I work on my talismans, and it helps to explain things to him as I’m doing it... makes more sense to me that way,” Wei Wuxian admitted, brushing his finger against his nose in confusion. “I had no idea he could use them though, especially the Devil Scatter spell talisman! Ah, the looks on their faces,” he cackled.

Jiang Cheng had enjoyed the look on their faces, when they realised their defeat had been wrought by a relatively unassuming goose. Even his mother was speechless, and explaining the event to his father and sister upon their return was, ah, interesting, to say the least. 

Thanks to that precious moment of confusion, they had gained the upper hand against the Wen soldiers that had followed Wang Lingjiao to Lotus Peir, and sent them running with their tails between their legs. Even the arrival of Wen Zhuliu had meant precious little, as he knew there was no victory to be had if they stayed and that Madam Yu would have no qualms killing Wen Chao’s mistress. What occurred today was a clear message from the Jiang Sect.

Now they prepared for an attack that was surely coming soon, and Jiang Cheng could already see the cogs spinning in Wei Wuxian’s bizarre brain, about how to weaponize a goddamn goose who could, apparently, use talismans.

Said goose had paddled his way towards them now, gently honking with delight as Wei Wuxian gave him a scratch on his neck. The goose was clearly preening under the attention and soaking up every scrap, and Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes at the absurdity. Of course Wei Wuxian’s goose would be as shameless as he was. 

The goose paused for a moment, before he ruffled the feathers under his wings and pulled out– 

“Oh my god,” Jiang cheng breathed, watching with disbelief as the goose gave his brother a Wen emergency flare that had the crest on it that symbolized use by a direct Wen family member only. It must have been a gift from Wen Chao, in case his mistress got in trouble. Oh, they could definitely use this.

It was all he could repeat, a phrase on loop that had lost all emphatic meaning now but still held the shreds of his sanity together.