#greenbeard

My Favourite Chapter: Arya VI, ASOS ~

LAST TIME, ON DND:

Little Snowflake (@the-stilting-peace's Tabaxi), Vesper (my drow), and Greenbeard (post-on-tumblr-already's deep gnome) are trapped in the room of ooze! Sniv, our beloved Kobold guide, gets his only braincell iced by the ooze monster, throwing him into death saving throws. Two saves, two losses.

Now, for some reason, the dice gods have cursed Little. She’s gotten more Nat 1s than any other party member. And guess what happened when she tried to stabilize Sniv? Yep. She would have just straight up killed him. BUT, she had inspiration (gotten by saving a life, ironically), but considering her insane bad luck with Nat 1s, we were all nervous it'd happen again. DM even said if it did, he'd make her Nat 1 curse an actual plot point in the story. But it was either use the inspo or have Sniv die. As she was rolling, Greenbeard and I were chanting "gatote!" ("big kitty" in Spanish) in the OOC chat, sending all our prayers to the dice gods.

She rolled, and it WASN'T a Nat 1! Instead it was a 9, meaning Sniv would have one more death saving throw on his turn.

BUT WAIT! I remembered Little had gotten a guidance bonus from her god the session before, so she could add a 1d4 for every skill check. Didn't matter what she rolled on the bonus, SNIV WOULD LIVE!!!!! We all went fucking insane in chat, it was AMAZING. Then after he was stabilized, Little stuffed him in her shirt, like he was a wad of cash, to continue fighting the ooze monster.

Can't quite beat when our 9 ft tall wolf-shifter druid was possessed by Goatman (another story), but it's up there. As for why this looks like a 2000s-esque abomination? Don't know, I'm just weird. Glad I didn't add the goo though.

They climbed to a hidden village in the upper branches, a maze of rope walkways and little moss-covered houses concealed behind walls of red and gold, and were taken to the Lady of the Leaves, a stick-thin white-haired woman dressed in roughspun. "We cannot stay here much longer, with autumn on us," she told them. "A dozen wolves went down the Hayford road nine days past, hunting. If they'd chanced to look up they might have seen us." Arya IV - pg 299

While searching for Beric Dondarrion, the Brotherhood Without Banners visit a hidden village in the trees ruled by the Lady of the Leaves.

I've been looking forward to this Arya chapter. It's a wonderful offbeat tour of the Riverlands revealing parts that you want to have a book about unto itself. The Lady of the Leaves comes off as what TV Tropes calls a big-lipped alligator moment. She adds nothing to the plot, and we probably will never see her again, but she's a whole lot of fun.

Greenbeard the hairy

Greenbeard is green because of a genetic mutation that runs in the family

They say that the reason why Greenbeard has a parrot skull on his hat is because unlike most captains he ATE his own parrot

Greenbeard was one day sailing then saw a village and decided to have a closer look

He then met Mary Dutchman who he had an interest on

Poor Mary didn't want this stranger to have his dirty hand and hook on her but it was too late

The idea for Greenbeard and Mary belongs to @the-indie-owl

Buried treasure

Listen/purchase: Onward, Pillager by Greenbeard