#great message

There are times in life, when the sum of all the moving parts simply feels overwhelming. When it rains it pours, like they say! Last week I really needed to take a break and dry myself from the downpour of hurdles I’m currently having to deal with.

It was just a ‘time-out’, a simple halt in the game, a brief chance to regroup, rehydrate and gather strength. I needed to disconnect.

So for 48hrs I took the chance to ‘pretend’ everything, everywhere, was OK.

I decided to go Christmas shopping and mingle with the seemingly carefree NPCs of my perceived reality. The streets were busy with people going places, important places, judging by their determined walk and look in their faces. It made me feel very lucky that on that one day, I had nowhere specific to go or anything specific to do. Ou la lah! La liberté!

It struck me then, that perhaps, all I was doing was pretending to be an NPC myself; present but not active, walking but not going, talking but not saying, being but not feeling, living but not alive…

My NPC-self managed to buy a few things and even greet a few people without engaging in anything meaningful. Thus far, I was nailing it! My numb performance was deserving of an Oscar! I was totally getting the hang of it; blinders on, mind switched off, empathy on standby, ego on the steering wheel and heart reduced to a pump. Got it! C’mon Laura, you can do it!

Except I couldn’t…

The pretending only lasted a few more hours. Argh! Who was I kidding?! There’s no switching off from this transformative process we are on, no getting off of this ride, no stop button, no mute option!

There’s instead a need to connect, to know, to see, to be, to grow, to learn, to discover and to witness the world as it goes through the most fascinating evolutionary process it’s ever been through! How on earth can you be an NPC at this time?! It’s impossible! Unless you really are one… 🤔 (some people totally fit the role!)

I simply was not born to pretend not to care, on the contrary, I give all the hoots in the world about everything that’s going on! And it’s exhausting and draining and painful and disturbing and frustrating and exasperating! But it’s also exciting and fascinating and more than anything, it’s the reason we chose to be here right now, so I don’t want to miss a thing! And I know that you don’t either.

We are the opposite of NPCs, we were born to be noticed and heard and hated or loved, but above all, felt, because we care! And that, my friends, is what makes it impossible to ‘pretend’.

Oh well, I never wanted an Oscar anyway! Being our authentic tin-hat-wearing selves, is far more rewarding than fitting into a numb society of hypnotised NPCs.

So here I am, back on the trenches of the truth-seeking, dragon-slaying, justice-crusading army that we are!

It feels good to be back home after 48hrs of unsuccessful ‘pretending’. 🤔

People Are People (1984)

Depeche Mode

Some Great Reward

Jennihermoso: Mostramos nuestra solidaridad con la lucha por la igualdad y la justicia #stopracism #stopdiscrimination #stopviolence #fifalegends