This week’s blog is mostly about Gray Thursday, the day that precedes Black Friday, Black Saturday and what I like to think of as Blue Sunday- a new holiday I just created to describe the day of buyer’s remorse people experience when they realize how much money they spent on the previous three days.  

Gray Thursday used to be called Thanksgiving- a day when family and friends gathered together to catch up, eat a ton of food and socialize in a way that’s probably pretty dysfunctional, but can still be satisfying if there’s alcohol involved.

But, Thanksgiving is increasingly over shadowed by its prettier, more popular sister Christmas (that bitch!) and the buying season for the holidays that now begins as soon as the silverware has hit the plate.  There is no more time to take a nap.  No more time to chat with your sister’s husband Dave whose pretty cool because he talks about cooking and knows to be quiet when It’s a Wonderful Life returns from the commercial break.  No more time to relax and stay still for a day, with nothing pressing on your mind except whether to have second slice of that pecan pie your brother’s wife Patty really knocked out of the park.

On this day, we have always been compelled to consume. Historically, this consumption has to do with epic amounts of food, but now we have moved well past gluttony and into the realm of avarice.  We must act now for the best deal on whatever hot ticket item it is we simply cannot live without.  We must spend money on a shirt we won’t wear that often or a new tv that’s only slightly better than last year’s model or a pair of earrings for your mother that you know she’ll never wear, but you have to get her something, right?

The set of issues I have isn’t really with Black Friday.  I don’t care for the circus of spending, but it’s your money and I’m not your mother, so spend it however you see fit.  I protest Black Friday by staying home all day and not buying anything and that’s my right as a real rebel.  It’s Gray Thursday with which I take the most umbrage because so many retailers have extended their hours into Thanksgiving causing employees to work on what should be considered a holiday by all involved- employers, employees and shoppers alike.

Having worked retail for years, I’ve spent more than one Thanksgiving on the job and, no, it hasn’t killed me, but it has diminished my enjoyment of the holiday and reduced my capacity to relax with friends and family.  Working on Thanksgiving has also made me distrustful of the companies for which I work because I know the president or CEO is probably not working on that day.  They are, instead, sitting down to a nice turkey dinner at home.

Working retail during the holidays has also made me realize that shoppers have lost all sense of humanity somewhere between an ugly Christmas sweater and the newest gaming console.  Once, as I waited on a customer during the week leading up to Thanksgiving, she asked if the store would be open during the holiday.  I smiled and said yes as I handed her her bag and she shook her head with a frown.

“It’s a shame you all have to work on Thanksgiving.”  I nodded my head in agreement because I shared the sentiment whole heartedly.  

And then she said, “But, if you’re going to be open, I’m going to shop!”

I didn’t lose my smile, but I did think about how that woman was everything that was wrong with this greedy world.  

All I’m asking from you, dear reader, is to stay home this Thanksgiving. Regardless of the deal that might be out there on November 26th, stay home and have another slice of pie with your brother-in-law or your mom and dad or you best friend from college. At least try not to go any place where some has to wait on you.  They might smile and be polite because they know which side their bread is buttered, but know that I speak from experience when I say: THEY. DO. NOT. WANT. TO. BE. THERE. And on that day when we are supposed to be grateful for what we do have rather than what we could have, they shouldn’t have to be at work- catering to the likes of us.  They should be at home having a loud argument over politics with their cousin Donny.

I know better then to ask people to stay home on Black Friday.  It’s become an American holiday as much as the Fourth of July, with its own trapping and rituals.  And, like the Fourth, it can be dangerous.  Seven people have died and 98 have been injured according to ttp://blackfridaydeathcount.com/, where a list going back to 2006 provides the gory details of shoppers gone mad from the promise of a real steal.