Keep Calm and Ignore The Double Standard

Toonami:

Britt Julious remembers going to the nurse’s office in high school and joining the rows of girls lying on cots. They weren’t there because they had a cold or the flu. Like Julious, they were there because of their periods.

“It’s hard to be 15 or 16 years old and you’re trying to pay attention in algebra, and all you can think about is how you want to puke,” Julious, a 31-year-old writer in Chicago, told TODAY.

“I would come home from school because I couldn’t function. I couldn’t sit up in my chair.”

Julious was only 10 years old when she got her period. Soon after, intense cramps began and continued throughout her adolescence into adulthood, when she learned she had uterine fibroids.

Painful periods are a symptom of fibroids, or noncancerous growths in the uterus. But for many women, pain alone isn’t reason to see a doctor. In fact, numerous women told TODAY they were taught that pain is simply part of being a woman.

Now a new wave of doctors and organizations want to tell people that’s not true.

BUT FIRST, WHAT ARE FIBROIDS?

Fibroids are benign tumors in a woman’s uterus. They’re most common during a woman’s childbearing years, but can develop at any age. Fibroids can be as small as a seedling or bigger than a grapefruit, and women can have one, two, three or many.

Fibroids are common but doctors do not know why some women develop them. Genetics play a factor: Women with a family history of fibroids are more likely to develop them. And black women are especially at risk. Up to 80% of black women will develop fibroids before they turn 50, and up to 70% of white women will develop fibroids before they turn 50, according to research. For black women, fibroids are often more severe and occur earlier, according to Dr. Elizabeth Stewart, a fibroids specialist and professor of obstetrics and gynecology and surgery at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota.

Tippy taps

Short list of the Shit the HOA at my pervious house tried to pull:

Banning personal and community food gardens (The reason the tag for my garden is “The garden of earthly HOA violations”)

Banning people from using thier personal yards as Native Plant Restoration microzones, something that looks gorgeous and is extremely helpful to the local ecology

trying to get the city council to remove protections on adjacent city Open Space/Native Plant restoration zone so they could mow it.

mandating the use of ONE landscaping company in the neighborhood, coinicdentally owned by the HOA president’s son

Mandating the use of an unecessary water purification company on all properties.

suing city animal control for collecting lose dogs and cats and returning them to the addresses on thier collars.  You know. that thing animal control does so the animals don’t get run over or disemboweled by the coyotes or catch and spread rabies.  The thing that’s illegal to let your pet do out here for those reasons Karen.

Suing the city council to remove a city bus stop in the neighborhood that was heavily used by many residents.  They damn near got away with it becuase the HOA meetings were always in the middle of the day on a weekday.  You know, when the residents that use that stop are working.

Sending people letters threatening to fine them for having “Out Of Season” holiday decor.  Specifically targeting my Indian neighbors who were celebrating Diwali, not Christmas and the Jews with visible Menorahs.

Fining people for doing thier own appliance and car repair on thier own personal property

Fining people for operating a business out of thier house, specifically targeting a disabled neighbor that does comission tailoring and garment repair out of her home.  never bothered a soul except the one snoopy bitch who didn’t like that her clients were allowed to park in the tailor’s designated and otherwise unused parking space.

Trying to fine a neighbor for flying a Pride Flag

HOAs are invasive, bigoted, corrupt and cruel institutions that should never have been allowed to be created.  If you live in and HOA area, showing up at the meetings to tell people what the fuck is wrong with them, Joining your HOA board to protect your neighbors and possibly organize the dissolution of the HOA is one of the best things you can do to protect the marginalized members of your community.

When I was a child, from the time I was about four and could understand things, my mom told me and my brother that we should have a secret word. That way, if we were ever in trouble or felt unsafe and we didn’t want the people around us to know we needed her to come get us, we could let her know. So she let us pick the word and my brother and I chose the phrase “peanut butter cups.” (I’m happy to share the phrase now since both my brother and I are adults now). 

I used the phrase twice in my life. Once, I was at a friends house when I eight years old. Her dad got really drunk and was throwing things against the wall. I was really scared and I didn’t want to draw attention to myself on the phone when I called my mom to come get me because I didn’t know if he would get more violent if I asked her to come get me. So I called her and was calm and after a couple minutes I asked “Hey mommy, did you get me those peanut butter cups from the store?” And she said “I’ll be right there.” And she came and got me within minutes. 

Second, I was a teenager spending the night at a friends house. Her brother and dad were drinking and they started talking about things that made me uncomfortable - ie: what they liked to do to women. My friend didn’t seem perturbed and said that was normal for them and that I shouldn’t worry. But I was worried because they were really drunk and I was 15 and the only ‘woman’ around that wasn’t related to them. I went in my friends room, told her I needed to call my mom and say goodnight. Before I hung up with her I asked “Next time we go to the store, can we get some peanut butters cups? I’ve been craving them.” And she came and got me, just like that. 

Even if you just ask the child “Do you know this person” if the adult butt’s in make sure to ASK THE CHILD! Even a shy kid will tell you they don’t know this person or just met them or something!