#gray speaks

- Jake loves Britney Spears, he had a poster of her that he kept under his bed and memorised the ‘baby one more time’ and ‘toxic’ choreography

- Bradley has loads of music tapes left by his parents, especially his mum’s, she adored bananarama and Bradley has specific memories of his mum dancing in the kitchen to ‘Robert DeNiro’s waiting’

- Jake has a scar on his hairline from hitting his head on a fence post as a kid.

- Javy’s momma adores Jake. Gives him the biggest hugs and fusses over him so much. Javy swears she’d adopt him if he wasn’t a grown man.

This video hurt because I saw so much of myself in her. I don't want to get too much about myself in these posts but for those that don't know I'm in a rough patch right now and this video was a lot like looking in a mirror. It's scary and sad to think how many people in their twenties relate to this. I am someone who was a straight A student in school, I was on the Dean's list, I received awards for being one of the best in my classes. I put off so much for the sake of studying and making sure I was the best and now that I'm not a student I feel like I have fallen victim to the mentality of I will let myself be happy when this happens and for me it was independence and financial stability that I was always told started with perfect grades. But now the job market is shit half of listings are fake and the world feels like it is crumblings around me. And you might be wondering what this has to do with doom scrolling and that is that many people turn to that and social media to distract them from the moment and distract them from being alone in their thoughts but if anything it just fuels the anxiety. I'm not one of those people that's like 'tHoSe DaMn pHoNeS" I personally think the internet and social media can inspire you as well as hurt you. If you feel like you just use social media as a distraction from the silence it might be time to limit your time on it. You'll be surprised how much you want to do with your life and how many hobbies you want to take up when you let yourself do something. As is a the common message of this video, let yourself be happy in the moment. Give your brain time to rest. I"m not here to tell you to ditch social media like I said it can be inspiring. But if you feel like all you do is scroll all day maybe take a break and try to be more critical of what you are consuming online and ask if it's inspiring you, motivating you or is it just keeping you anxious.

Below are some quotes from the video that stuck with me.

they are the lucky ones.

I generally use they/them pronouns. May vary by context/comfort level.

Things you'll see here include ageplay, gentle femdom, incest/fauxcest, watersports/omorashi, petplay, slurs (reclaimed/those that apply to me) and anything else that i feel like posting.

I probably won't tag for stuff so browse at your own risk.

Asks and dms are always open! I'm not always great at responding so please don't take it personally if i don't get back to you for a while, i probably just don't wanna talk to anyone lmao