#gray scenario

"Sometimes..." He answered, also turning towards his own makeup artist when she rushed towards him as well. "…But none of them was about to become my fictitious wife. I don't want to start off on the wrong foot." He told you, leaning forward a little bit while having his makeup touched up.

Wasn't he the most charming? Suddenly you were glad he had chosen you as his fake wife.

"I think we're starting off on the right foot, actually." You said, watching him turn his head towards you for a second to offer you a soft smile.

You had been invited to be a part of the cast of We Got Married with none other than Gray himself. The charming, handsome rapper and producer who everyone wanted to know. You knew who he was damn well. In fact, you were a fan of his work too.

Gray, well, Seonghwa, was very gentle with you. At all times. It wasn’t just in that initial photoshoot. As time went on, he was most simply, and as you had come to understand, most sincerely gentle. You two were utterly comfortable with each other too which was even better. It was like getting to know someone casually with the added aspect that you two had to act extra lovey dovey every now and then.

 The production arranged you two to have your “first meet up” at a movie theater. On the large screen, it was your latest movie playing and you were the last one to enter the room. As you silently stepped into the room, you overheard him analyzing the movie, well, analyzing the actresses in the movie. One by one he wondered if any would be his fake wife and, much to your surprise, he even added he’d like it to be you. You couldn’t lie, your heart even skipped a beat.

You weren’t exactly the most famous actress out there, but you were slowly and steadily making a name for yourself. You’d been highly praised for your most recent work as well which was playing on the screen right before your eyes. You were a little embarrassed, seeing your future fake husband sitting there, watching you on the big screen… especially since your character wasn’t exactly the kindest in that movie.

You made your way down the room quietly, holding back a few giggles and as discreetly as possible, you sat down right behind him. Even in the darkness of the room, you couldn’t lie, he was quite handsome. You even mentioned it in an interview with the crew later on which stirred up the viewers in the funniest of the ways.

“Oh, that was mean.” He commented, watching a scene in the movie in which your character was indeed quite mean.

“Right? But the acting was quite decent, wasn’t it?” You finally said, with a cheeky grin.

Seonghwa who was so into the movie at the moment seemed genuinely startled by your voice, turning around with wide eyes.

“Oh my god, did you jump out of the screen?” Were his first words towards you.

You let out a genuine laugh. Gentle him stood up right away, bowing to you, making you flustered, bowing down deeper to him as you two exchanged proper greetings.

 Your time together on the show was quite fun. He was just fun to be around. Not that he was funny all the time, but he was quite chill. One of your first dates was in his studio, Gray Ground. The comments had been the most amusing, saying he had invited you over to show off and win you over. Regardless, it had worked. Not only did he indeed win you over, but you had spent a really nice afternoon, emerged in his talent and creativity. He played for you and showed you how he worked and even let you try out some of his equipment. You couldn’t help but wonder if he had ever done that to a girl whom he had serious intentions of winning over. He most likely had, right?

 Finding a house you two liked was surprisingly easy as well. It was a two-story apartment, with only the bedroom on the top floor. It was quite spacious. And the décor was lovely, in soft browns and beige. He cooked you dinner on your first night at the house and you hung around him, helping him with tasting because he really wouldn’t let you do anything else.

“You know, I feel really awkward just sitting around.” You confessed after he led you to one of the tall stools that decorated the counter.

“Isn’t it romantic to have your husband cook for you though?” He responded with a cheeky smile, returning to his cooking.

“…It is.” You answered, unable to help the smile that curved your lips.

Much to the viewers content, you resumed to placing your elbows upon the counter, resting your chin between your palms as you watched your handsome cook skillfully cooking his pasta dish. The sweet smiles you two exchanged were the cherry on top for the audience.

 Your fake wedding was beautiful. You felt legitimately beautiful in your long white gown. As you walked down the aisle you could swear his eyes sparkled. He offered you his hand when you got closer to him, which you took, finding it was warm and a little sweaty which you forgave instantly when he shot you an apologetic smile.

Your vows were funny and lovely.

“I promise to cook you more than just pasta dishes whenever you’re hungry.” He announced.

He had cooked a few times for you, every time a different pasta dish. Quite tasty dishes actually! However, the viewers kept coming at him for only cooking pasta. You weren’t complaining though.

“I like pasta though.” You answered with a chuckle.

Then time came for you to read your vows.

“I promise to bring my husband some sunlight whenever he’s always stuck inside.” You promised and he chuckled, melting into a big smile.

You’d learned he was someone who worked a lot. Truth be told, you were pretty busy yourself but he was constantly at work. There was this constant creativity flowing through him, which pushed him to always be near a piano or his computer. You were unsure of whether viewers were aware of that but it was something you had come to realize during that short period of time you two had spent together.

Of course, your vows included the typical “I love you, I’m sorry, I’ll do well for you” to each other. At the time, although said in a sincere way, there was only so much meaning put into those words.

 Funny enough, there was a lot you had come to realize the more time you spent with him. It wasn’t like you two had really been able to spend time together away from cameras but you could tell he was being genuine all the time you spent with him. It wasn’t like you’d fallen for him or anything alike but you really did enjoy being with him. You’d noticed so many little things about him and you found yourself treasuring those. You wouldn’t even mention them in the solo interviews. They were yours to keep, whether you two would meet again or not.

When the show ended and you had to part ways, you were genuinely sad. The emotions in that last episode together were truly yours, nothing faked. You spent the day together and ended up having dinner at a nice restaurant near the river, as so planned by the production.

It was a gorgeous night. The restaurant had a rooftop area that was empty for the purpose of the recording of the show so when you two finished your dinner, you moved onto the rooftop for drinks. It was getting chilly so he put his jacket over your shoulders and over a glass of wine, holding the collar of his jacket against your chest, you two discussed the days you spent together earnestly. The way he talked about how you had indeed brought more light to his days, real and figuratively, in such a gentle way, really touched your heart, like you would have never thought it would.

Your last hug was truly gentle and sincere. He held you tight against his chest, like he himself didn’t want to let go and you found yourself wishing he wouldn’t. He pressed a kiss to the side of your head and you tightened your grip around his torso gently, closing your eyes.

When you finally let go of each other, he didn’t want you to remove his jacket but you insisted he would take it back. And so, you walked to the entrance of the restaurant and said your last goodbyes. As you left, you could swear the scent of his cologne still lingered around you.

 Weeks went by, the episode aired and the comments were crazy. The audience found that last moment so touching that everyone was rooting for you two to become an actual couple. You couldn’t help but read those comments with a bit of bitterness because after a few days, for a split second, you had wished that too. However, you two seemed to have returned to your lives just like they were before only that for you, everything seemed to remind you of him. You kept telling yourself it was just because you’d spent so much time with him but who knew? You might have actually fallen for him as much as you tried to discard that option.

 One sunny day, you woke up to a text from “Seonghwa-nim”. You felt silly for it but your heart skipped a beat. “I need some sunlight, when are you free?” it read.

And so, on your next free day, he took you out for coffee.

Coffee and a few earnest words were all it took for you to finally admit to yourself that you were indeed in love with him.

“You know, I keep seeing you everywhere. A lot of things remind me of you, I mean.” He started, looking down at the mug he held between his hands. “I didn’t think it’d happen but I miss your presence around me.” He admitted.

So that was it. He was in love with you too.

Like it had come out of a script that could be handed to you any time, that was the story of how a fake wedding lead to a steady relationship, full of love and plenty of sunlight.

             She sat on the couch in the living room of someone’s house where could be considered as her second home while eating some of the colorful gummy worms that she got from the kitchen. This morning, Jay had called her and asked her to come over to his house as he said he needed a companion because he felt lonely today. At first, he wanted to ask some of his friends to come over however ‘she’ crossed his mind so he decided to ask her instead. Besides, it had been a long time since both of them met each other due to the packed schedules.

           On her way to Jay’s house, Jay had told her to just come in when she had arrived since she already knew the pass code to his house. She followed Jay’s command and entered his house only to be greeted by the sound of morning news from the television.

“Where the heck is Jay though,” wondered her.

         After realizing there was no sign of Jay, she decided to make a house tour, in fact not really, and found out that Jay was actually in the shower. How did she  know it? It was because she could hear the sound of water falling inside the bathroom. So, she went over to the kitchen and took a jar which was filled up with colorful gummy worms to entertain herself while waiting for Jay and watching the morning news.

         Moments later, Jay got out from the shower with only a towel wrapped around his body, water was dripping from his body. He then opened up both of his arms and she jumped in between, she could smell a faint scent of vanilla, perhaps from his shower gel.  

“Hey, I miss you! Hollup I am going to dress up,” said Jay while running off to his bedroom.

       Jay came out from his bedroom, wearing a plain white shirt and black short pants. The moment he sat next to her, he realized that she was eating something, his favorite’s gummy!

“What the fuck! My gummies!! Who lets you eat it? Look, half of it is gone!” shouted Jay while snatching the jar from her hand.

She stared at him in disbelief, “Really, Jay? I ate like 6, I can count it with my fingers!!! Besides, who told me before, ‘make it like your own house’?” said her while making a quoting mark.

“Okay, fine, whatever. Anyways, thanks for coming. You want some chicken? And oh black bean noodles? I know they are your favorite’s,” stated Jay while grinning

“Thank you Jayyyyyyyyyy, love ya,” smiled her.

       Jay called some restaurant for take-out, fried chicken, black bean noodles, two types of pizzas, spaghetti; Carbonara and Bolognese and some rice cakes. Was Jay trying to hold a party or what in his house, the foods were a lot for two persons! Goodness gracious, what a crazy man.

“That’s a lot, Jay. But, since it’s me and you, it’s no problem haha”

Jay and her were the type that could eat a lot, sometimes. It might sound like he ordered a lot, but once the food entered their mouth, it could be addictive until they could not stop.

        Jay’s phone suddenly rang, telling him that someone was calling. He checked on his phone before deciding to pick it up. The call was from Gray.

“Just tell it by yourself- Okay, okay fine, I will tell her gosh,” complained Jay as he ended the call.

“Who?” asked her, concerned.

“God damn it, let me tell you something, Gray has been complaining to me, like a lot, about you and oh god-”

“About?”

“He keeps on telling me that he feels bitter because you have not gone to his house while you went to mine like millions already,” explained Jay, looking stressed.

“Oh man, he is bitter with me? No wonder lately I got short respond from him!” realized her.

“I think you should go and visit him at his house,”

“You see, it’s not like I don’t want to go to his house, it’s-”

“Because of the level, I bet?”

“What else. His house is on level 21 Jay!!!” shouted her. “I can’t, it’s too high,”

“You have not tried yet, I mean did you forget? I’m also afraid of height, but I can make it to level 21,”

“We are different, I-“ Before she could finish, a doorbell could be heard, signaling the delivery had arrived.

Jay then made his way to the door after taking his wallet and came with full hands of plastic bags. He then put down the plastic bags on the table and went to the kitchen and came back with some plates. She, on the other hand, was gazing off, thinking whether she should give a try to visit Gray at his house, maybe she should, no she had to! That man was feeling bitter because of that, so she thought, she should sacrifice herself to make him feel better, and plus she could overcome her fear too! Yeah, killing two birds with one stone, sounded like a great idea!

“Hey, what are you thinking so deeply?” asked Jay as he was setting up the foods.

“I have decided to go to Gray’s house, maybe tomorrow? How does that sound?” asked her with her eyebrows up.

“Gray will be so happy to hear this,” smiled Jay. “By the way, I miss your coffee, mind to make me one?” asked Jay while making a cute face, haish this man.

“Please put that aegyo away, I will make it,”

As she was about to go to the kitchen to make a coffee as Jay desired, a sound from the doorbell could be heard. Who was it? The delivery had arrived.

“Let me get it-” Before Jay could get the door, the door was opened, revealing a man with a dark blue hoodie.

“Gray!” shouted Jay, surprised.

“Gray?” She asked and ran to the living room to check on him, then decided to return to the kitchen and made three mugs of coffee since Gray was here too.

“Thought you are busy! Aren’t you recording?” asked Jay while munching some fried chicken.

“Finished earlier than I thought, so decided to drop by since that someone is here,” said Gray with his sarcastic remark.

“I heard it Gray!” shouted her from the kitchen. As she came back to the living room with the coffees, she then told Gray, “I told Jay that I decided to go to your house tomorrow.”

“OH MY GOD, REALLY?!”

“God damn it, do you have to scream? We are here for goodness sake,” said Jay, annoyed.

“Yes, even I am a little bit scared cause your home is too high but nah never mind, I’ll get over it,” told her while getting some rice cake.

Gray picked up a slice of pizza then drank the coffee that was made by her. “I miss your coffee!”

“Right, I do too,” said Jay, high-fiving Gray, so childish these two men.

As Gray put down his mug on the table, he clapped his hands with a grin and said: “Forget about tomorrow, just come home with me after this.”

‘It’s an amazing opportunity to work with someone like Y/N. I’m glad that we’ve decided to collaborate for the new fashion line,’ Mino stated honestly.

A reporter asked, ‘Would you say that Y/N is your ideal type? You two seem close.’

Mino laughed on the screen, his hand scratching the back of his neck as he answered, ‘I think Y/N is everyone’s type. She’s a really great person. I’m excited to be working with her on such a big project.’

‘Are you hoping to get to know her better through this work?’ the interviewer prompts playfully.

‘Who knows?’ Mino chuckles, ‘We’ll just have to see how it goes.’

You knew yourself that Mino meant no harm – it’s not like he could outright deny any of the interviewer’s questions. It would only lead to articles stating there was ‘disharmony’ between the two of you, and if he confirmed the speculation, the articles would be even worse. Keeping it vague was the best thing Mino could do in the situation.

'Who knows?’ Gray growled sarcastically, not hearing you enter, ‘I know! My baby would curve you like a fucking corner!’ he trailed off with a string of swear words as he replayed the interview at the part where Mino called you ‘everyone’s type’.

‘Look at this piece of trash,’ Gray scoffed whilst you let out a small laugh. Gray jumped in surprise and turned to look at you, ‘You surprised me.’

‘Sorry. You’re just so cute when you work yourself up,’ you tell him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and placing your head next to his as you watched Mino on screen.

‘He’s so cocky!’ Gray whines as his free hand moves up to cover your own interlinked ones.

‘He’s actually very lovely. Are you worried he’ll steal me away?’ you ask, your lips pressed against the corner of his mouth, your question coming out as a mumble.

‘Ha! He could try! We’re as solid as ice!’ Gray boasted, pecking your lips quickly.

‘Ice melts, baby,’ you tell him with a snort.

‘Do you want to die?’ Gray asked with his eyebrow raised, his eyes set on your face and full of seriousness.

‘Only after we’ve gotten married, had a million kids, and are in our nineties,’ you respond cutely, causing him to let out a laugh.

The interview continued,

‘When will you be flying out to Paris?’

‘Ah…That’s still be decided. The decision to go abroad was only recently made, so we are still figuring out the logistics of it all, as I have to fit it into my schedule with Winner, as well.’

Gray tensed and turned to look at you accusingly.

‘Yah. Are you going to Paris?’

You looked at him guiltily. It had been a last-minute decision for you; a once in a lifetime opportunity really, but you had been invited by one of the biggest brands in fashion to take a tour with their group and to gain insight to new trends and lines for your own brand, and had immediately said yes.

‘I came here as soon as I could to tell you,’ you admit.

Gray swung his chair around so that you were facing one another, his hands reaching out to clasp both of yours as he looked up, his eyebrows furrowed, ‘Go on.’

‘I got a call from Chanel this morning,’ you tell him quietly, ‘They invited me over to tour throughout Paris to their design shops and private show rooms. It was so good an opportunity that I couldn-‘

‘I’m so proud of you.’ Gray told you, his hands squeezing yours, cutting off your explanation. You blinked down at him, surprised.

‘You’re not mad?’

‘Baby, this is a good thing. It’s your career we’re talking about here!’ Gray told you, moving so that his arms wrapped around your waist instead. ‘When do you fly out? How long will you be in Paris for?’

‘They want me there for three weeks. I haven’t sorted everything out, but I know it’s at least that long.’

‘And when do you go?’ Gray asked, his chin resting against your stomach as he looked up.

‘Two weeks.’

‘Is Mino going?’

You nodded, causing Gray’s arms to drop and his head to throw back in annoyance, ‘Why does that little shit have to go? I’m so annoyed.’

You couldn’t help but smile. He didn’t care about the distance or time you would be apart for. No, in fact he was happy you were advancing with your work. His only dislike was poor Mino, who had no clue that your man did not like him at all.

Distracting Gray from his rant, you bent down and kissed him quickly, ‘Thank you for supporting me with this. I thought you’d be more upset that I hadn’t called you ahead of time.’

Pulling you so that you sat on his left leg, he held your face gently, ‘Yah. How many times have you supported me? Waited up at night to congratulate me on finishing a track? Consoled me when I hit a brick wall? Numerously. So many times, that I’ve lost count.’

Blinking away the tears that had built up in your eyes, you pulled his face to your chest and hugged him whilst he chuckled.

After a moment or two, Gray asked, ‘Can I come and visit you in Paris?’

‘Mm,’ you agree, playing with his hair absentmindedly.

‘Can we go on dates in Paris?’

‘Mm.’

‘Should I take you on the Eiffel tower?’

‘Mhm.’

‘Should I propose to you on the Eiffel tower?’ he teases.

‘That’s too cliché,’ you tell him honestly.

‘True. I’ll keep thinking of ideas,’ Gray responds with a smile, before puckering his lips for a kiss that you happily gave him.

The next morning, you made sure to wake up and hour earlier than usual. Getting out the shower and picking your outfit, you decided on a pair of olive green slacks and a cream-colored button-up, matching the latter with your cream pumps with the gold detailing. You slicked your curly hair into a low ponytail with a deep side part, making sure to fleek the baby hairs on the perimeter of your hairline perfectly. You kept your makeup simple, but bold, by wearing a BB cream, a pair of false lashes, and a vivid, cranberry liquid lipstick. Not to mention, your eyebrows were also done to perfection.

Grabbing your keys, cell phone, and purse, you headed out the door and into the brisk autumn air, quickly hopping into your car and starting it. Your car’s Bluetooth automatically connected to your phone and you began to scroll through your music, deciding to play Jay Park’s Everything You Wanted album on your commute. You bopped you head to Me Like Yuh as you wove through the morning Seoul traffic, lightly drumming on the steering wheel. Pulling into the AOMG parking lot, your favorite song on the album started: Feature ft. Cha Cha Malone. Looking at the clock on your dashboard, you were still fifteen minutes early and decided that you had enough time to ‘jam out to this bop real quick.’

“Wanna grab you by ya booty, ya booty,” you sang out, grooving in the driver’s seat until you happened to make eye contact with someone coming out of their car, and immediately froze, almost turning a bright red while you scrambled through the passenger seat for your phone, turning the music off. You looked back up at them slowly, finding them still staring at you through your car window. You smiled awkwardly and gave a small wave toward the spectator and they quickly proceeded to the building’s entrance. “Great,” you sighed to yourself, gathering your belongings and turning off your car, exiting briefly. “The foreigner made a fool out of herself on the first day.” You walked towards the main entrance, ensuring not to add to your embarrassment by tripping and falling on your face as well. “At least I’m early,” you said pushing open the giant glass door. You proceeded to walk up to the front desk to check in.

“First and last name?” the receptionist inquired with a welcoming smile. You tell her your name while pulling out your ID to hand to her as well. After typing something into the computer, she hands you a badge with your name printed on it as well as the AOMG logo. “This is yours, and you can go ahead and have a seat over there. Mr. Malone will be with you shortly,” she pointed to a waiting area with a coffee table, clad with numerous magazines.

“Okay tha-” you started to bow before fully comprehending her words. “Sorry, maybe I didn't hear you clearly. Did you just say Malone as in-?”

“Cha Cha Malone,” a deep voice cut you off from behind you. You spun around to see Cha Cha, in the flesh, looking fine as hell in a navy blue suit and a blinding white smile. You picked your jaw off the floor before bowing and sticking your hand out to shake his simultaneously, not knowing which to do first.

“My name is-”

“I know who you are,” Cha Cha smiled even brighter, taking your hand to shake it. “With a resume like that, how could I not know who you are?”

A small “oh,” was all you could manage, as your eyes fell to your still-connected hands and you face began to heat up at the contact. Cha Cha nonchalantly dropped your hand and guided you towards the elevator, looking over his shoulder to see if you were still following. You shyly smile back at his cuteness.

“You don't seem very excited for your first day,” he playfully frowned, pushing the button to call the elevator to the first floor.

“Well, of course, I'm excited,” you frowned back, shrugging your shoulders. “But there are probably tons of other candidates applying for the same position, so I don't want to get my hopes up too high, in case I don't get picked.” You were lying; your hopes were sky-high and you were already doing backflips in your head.

“You already have it,” Cha Cha said simply as the elevator dang, indicating that it had arrived, and he boarded. “The position is yours.”

“What?” You blinked, feet froze in place. The elevator doors almost closed on you before he stopped them, motioning for you to also board. “I-I-...”  you tried to form a sentence. “But, how?” was all you could come up with.

“Well,” he began, placing a long, tanned finger on his chiseled chin, pretending to be deep in thought. “Let me put it this way: If someone was sending in their resume every week, for say-How long have you been in Seoul?” he interrupted himself.

“Two months,” you squeaked out.

“For the past two months,” he continued, “a very impressive resume by the way, wouldn't you want to hire them off of pure dedication alone?”

“ I guess,” you said to the gold buckles on your shoes, finding it harder to make eye contact with him after such flattery.

“ I thought Minji explained this to you over the phone.” He punched the button for the 7th floor, after what felt like an eternity of being in a still elevator.

“She probably did.” you finally looked up, still not meeting his eyes, instead, choosing to speak to his full lips. “You see, my Korean is still a little rusty, so some of what she said kind of went right over my head.” Cha Cha only chuckled in response, petting the top of your head and exiting the elevator as soon as the doors opened. You followed close behind, filing out of the elevator into a long hallway. At the end of the hallway was a door marked Studio A with a small glass window at the top. Cha Cha punched in the code and opened the door.

“And this,” he gestured for you to enter first, “is where the magic happens.” You found yourself picking your jaw up off of the ground for a second time that morning as your eyes explored the room, trying to take in every detail before you woke up from this oh-so-realistic dream you were in.

“I'm just kidding,” Chacha plopped into a big leather desk chair, behind the soundboard. “We don't do actual magic in here, just some really dope music, and sometimes we just play around.” He looked at you to say something.

Silence

“What? You never been in a recording studio before?”

“Never,” You released a breath you didn't know you were holding in.

“ Then how'd you make all those dope ass mixes?” He sat up in his chair.

“GarageBand,” you admitted. Did he listen to your music?

“Well then you're really in for a treat today,” he chuckled, pulling his wallet out of his blazer pocket and sliding out a black credit card reaching out to give it to you. “Go to that coffee shop down the street and get two hot americanos and whatever you want of course.” You give him a puzzled look as you take the card into your digits, like some sacred ancient document that shouldn't be held with bare hands. “Did you forget you were my assistant?” he questioned sternly.

“No,” you lied. “Sorry sir,” you mutter in Korean, bowing politely. “Thank you, sir,” bowing once more.

“ Cha Cha is fine,” the man laughed out loud. “And English is also fine.” --- “Stupid, stupid stupid,” you lightly smacked your forehead in the driver’s seat of your car. “Sorry, sir” “thank you, sir,” you mocked yourself before pulling out of the driveway, heading to the coffee shop. You hoped that your first and most simple task wouldn't be disrupted by your apparent incompetence today. ---

On the way back from picking up the coffee, your frustration slowly dissolved, a wide grin appearing on your face as your recalled being complimented by Cha Cha-freaking-Malone, one of the most infamous producers in the Korean hip-hop game right now.

   The gleeful moment did not last long, however, as you were reminded once more that today was indeed one filled with unfortunate events. You pursed your lips, fixing your face into a scowl as you glared at the giant black SUV that took your previous parking spot. “How lucky am I today? You began circling the parking lot.

---

“Hey sorry I took so long, you use your back to push open the door to Studio A, walking backwards into the room. “Some idiot in a black Escalade took my spot, so I had to circle the block like 100 times to finally find parking. I hope your drinks aren’t col-” you spun around, expecting only one body, but finding two.

“I wanted to introduce you to Mr. Lee Seong-Hwa,” Cha Cha spoke “a.k.a. the idiot who took your parking spot a.k.a.-”

“Gray,” you finished with a blank stare, unsure if you were more starstruck or mortified at this moment.

More silence

“She’s cute and feisty. Can we keep her?” Gray pouted at Cha Cha, hopping off of his seat atop the counter to cross the room to you. The artist was wearing a white knit long sleeve that hung off his body like it was made specifically for him. The low neckline of the top revealed his collarbones in a way that made you lick your lips and the exposed skin. The gold chain necklace he wore dangled right above his clavicle, and a pair of distressed denim jeans clung to his lengthy legs as he stalked towards you. You couldn't help but stare wide-eyed at the sight before you. “And you are?’ he made such intense, overwhelming eye contact as he lifted the drinks from your hands, causing the words to get stuck in your throat.

“She’s my new assistant,” Cha Cha answered for you, causing Gray’s head to snap behind himself, attention shifting back to Cha Cha for a moment.

“I’m his new assistant,” you repeated, Gray’s eyes shifting back to yours once more and you can feel the heat radiating off of your cheeks.

“Since we’ve had our introductions,” the producer claps his hands together, “let’s get started with this session, yeah?”

“Of course, boss,” Gray plopped the coffees into Cha Cha’s lap, blowing you a kiss once he stepped inside the booth.

---

   The recording session went so smoothly and effortlessly. The two men switched off between recording and engineering so flawlessly that you would've thought it was rehearsed, had you not known better. The best you could do was scribble some notes in your journal and try not to blink in an effort of not missing anything. You wanted to be able to absorb as much knowledge (and wishfully, talent) as you possibly could for one session.

   Gray's voice was deep, almost robotic when he rhymed, rapping formulaically and to a beat that seemed to sync with the one in your chest. Cha Cha, on the other hand, approached the mic in a more passionate way. His singing came from somewhere deep and it sounded different than anything else the producer had written before.

---

   “So what did you think?” Gray asked, resting one arm on your shoulder while you sat on the lounge couch that was to the right of the door, facing the entirety of the studio. You shrunk a bit under his touch, unexpecting of it.    “I really enjoyed the track actually. The contrast of your guys’ voices really gives the song character. Not to mention the piano in the background. That was you, wasn’t it Gray?” he nodded. “I love when contemporary artists put actual instruments into their music instead of just everything coming off an eclectic soundboard. It gave the song such a classical flare.” you grinned, looking up at the man, and he smiled cheekily back down at you.

   Cha Cha was currently putting some final touches on another track whilst the two of you chatted.

   “Since y'all are already taking a break, why don’t you get us some lunch?” Cha Cha said, not turning his chair, nor his head around to face anyone.

   “It's ok,” you reassured the men, “you guys probably have a lot to work on still. I can go alone, what do you want to eat?” You grabbed your pen to jot down the men's requests.

   “Nah its cool,” Gray insisted. “I have a really complicated order. I’ll come with you… and I’ll pay.”

   “Oh okay” was all you could muster before Gray had already pulled you out the studio and down the hallway. “You can let go of my wrist now before you disconnect it from the rest of my body.” He dropped the limb as soon as you two entered the elevator, apologizing repeatedly. “It's alright,” you reassured him, massaging your sore arm socket. You pressed the button to the lobby floor.

   “Let's take my car,” he led you out of the lobby, towards your stollen parking space, this time more gently, opting to grab your hand, rather than your wrist. You smiled to yourself at the thought of your hand being held by a famous person, and such a good looking one at that.

   “Okay,” you agreed, “only so we don't have to walk all the way to where I'm parked. Also, I’m driving.”

   “What?” Gray objected. “Why would I let Cha Cha’s assistant drive my car?”

   “Because,” you let go of his hand and walked towards the driver’s side of the SUV. “If you drive anything like you walk, I’m not getting in this death trap with you.”

   “Point,” he held up his index finger.

   “Keys, please” you held out both hands and the singer reached into his back pocket, tossing them to you. Unlocking the doors, you took a big step up, reaching up to hold on to the handles, in an attempt to enter such a huge vehicle. You felt two large, warm hands on either side of your waist and turned your head to see Gray helping push you up into the driver’s seat. Once settled, you felt cold where his hands once were. You started the car and turned on the heater.

   “You're so damn short,” he laughed, still standing on the driver's side, holding the door wide open, preventing you from closing it. “Do your feet even touch the pedals?” he teased, grabbing at your ankle.

   “I'll have you know,” you kicked his hand away, “that I am the average height of women in the U.S.”

   “Wow did you look that up all by yourself?”

   “Look,” you rolled your eyes playfully. “Either you get in this car, or ill leave you right here. It makes no difference to me.” you smiled as you watched him jog over to the passenger door. You were finally able to fully shut yours and feel the full effect of the car’s heater.  He quickly hopped into the warmth of the vehicle. You both fastened your seatbelts and you pulled out onto the road. “So what did y'all want to eat? Do you have Cha Cha’s number?”

“I’ll ask him what he's in the mood for,” the man quickly typed up a message and hit ‘send.’ Not even ten seconds later, his phone vibrated with a reply text. “He wants pizza,” Gray announced, placing his phone back in his pocket and folding his hands behind his head.

   “Seriously?” you scoffed. “Pizza? We could've just stayed back at the studio and gotten that delivered.”

   “The guy wants what he wants. Plus, if we hadn't left, I wouldn't have been able to show you this,” Gray uncrossed his hands, sat up, and pressed a button on the car’s dashboard.

   “Show me what- oh warm.” you hummed, pleased with the car’s built-in seat heaters. Gray sat back in his seat, satisfied with your reaction.

   “Make a left up here,” he pointed out. “There’s a good spot right up here.”

---

   “So what toppings do you like?” Gray asked when you two finally found parking on the crowded streets.

   “Hm,” you placed a finger on your chin. “I’m good with the usual pepperoni. What about you? What did you have in mind.”

   “Pepperoni's good. What about corn?” Gray began to exit the car.

   “Corn on pizza?” your eyes were probably bugging out of your head at the moment, not to mention the wind had hit you the exact moment you opened your door, probably causing you to make an even uglier face. To your misfortune, Gray had seen all of it.

“You really hate corn that much?” he chuckled, jogging around the car to your side to help you jump down.

“No,” you threw your arms around yourself as soon as your feet touched the ground. “It's freezing.”

“Ahh, you're cold,” he held his hand out. “Keys please.” You tossed them back to him. Probably as fast as you've ever seen someone, he had popped the trunk, went through the back, pulled out a jacket and had it draped over your shoulders in a matter of seconds. “I don't know why you didn't bring a jacket.”

“In my defense,” you pulled your arms through the sleeves. “Fall in California is way different. I wouldn't even need to wear pants most of the time.” Gray arched an eyebrow at your wording and you became a stuttering mess. “Y-you know w-what I mean,” you playfully smacked his side with the loose end of your sleeve that your arm didn't reach. “Shorts, skirts, dress, summer clothes, you pervert.” You two began walking towards the entrance of the pizza shop.

“Do you miss it?”

“Well,” you hesitated. “Yeah… eternal summers, the beach with my friends”

“Don't look so sad,” Gray wrapped his arm around both of your shoulders, pulling you into the storefront. “We’re here.”

“This feels expensive,” you flailed your arms in small circles in front of yourself as you walked.

“It is.”

“Oh,” you halted all movement. The smell of pizza dough being baked and cheese being melted surrounded the two of you and you couldn't help but inhale deeply through your nose.

“Smell’s good huh?” Gray’s arm was still wrapped around you, adding to the warmth of his coat and the heat from the shop. You nodded your head excitedly, feeling your stomach grumble from not having anything to eat all day. As you began to come down from your pizza shop high, you started to notice other people in the room… and the fact that they were all staring. An uneasiness began to settle at the pit of your stomach. You weren't one for big crowds or audiences for that matter, especially when all you wanted to do was stuff your face with some pizza.

“Uh… Gray,” you poked at his side, gaining his attention from the menu. “Huh?” his eyes met your concerned ones.

“People are staring at us,” you whispered, pointing to the audience the two of you acquired from simply standing there. “Hard, they're staring hard Gray.”

“Well,” he barely glanced at the crowd, causing a couple of the woman to gasp. “Let me put it this way. You're foreign and I'm famous. People are going to stare. Just try and ignore them.”

“I-I can't.” you stammer. “There's like, a lot of people in here.” You could feel the heat building up inside of gray’s jacket. What offered you comfort only a moment ago had soon become almost suffocating.

“Try picturing us in our underwear then. I hear that helps.”

“That’s not how it works, you idiot.”

“You wanna wait in the car?” He dangled his keys in front of your face and you snatched them as quick as possible, jogging through the front door and back into the cold of the autumn, feeling the air prick at your cheeks. You breathed a sigh of relief once you were back inside the comfort of the car. You chose to take the passenger seat instead of driving. Your hands were probably too shaky from the adrenaline to drive right now. You took your phone out to check some emails, scroll through Facebook to see what folks back home were up to, and play a few games of Candy Crush. Before you knew it, you had dozed off in the car. ---

   You awoke to be patted gently on the shoulder.

   “Come on let’s go,” you opened your eyes to a dangerously close Gray. “Good morning sleeping beauty.” the man beamed.

   “I-Uh,” your sleepy brain unable to form sentences just yet.

   “Help me carry the pizzas upstairs, yeah?” You nodded your head, taking a steaming box of hot pizza from the back seat and following the man into the building.

When you two reentered the studio, you could see Cha Cha, suit jacket long removed, hunched over the soundboard, with a pair of Beats on. He nodded to whatever was blasting through the speakers. He didn't even notice your entrance until the unmistakable cheesy, greasy scent invaded his nostrils. He spun around in his chair, another blindingly bright smile assaulted your eyes. You almost held up your hand as if you were looking directly at the sun. you smiled back as you boss removed his headphones.

   “We brought pizza!” you cheered sleepily holding out the hot box in your hands towards him until he took it from you.

   “I can see y’all got kinda comfy huh?” Cha Cha nodded towards the men’s jacket that you definitely were not wearing when you left the building.

   “Yeah,” Gray chimed in. “Actually-”

         You kept walking and little rain drops starting to fall from the sky. 

        "You know avoiding me won't make anything better." Sunghwa's voice startled you, now he clearly few steps away behind you. 

         Keep walking and don't bother to answer him. 

         And suddenly you were pulled by strong arms and collide to a board chest. You were on Sunghwa's forced embrace. 

         "You can't be like this forever."

         "I can." you said, looking into his eyes.

         "I never meant to hurt you."

// Part 2 //

--Flashback--

As you force your way through the sea of writhing bodies illuminated by flashes of color, you could curse yourself. The heavy thud-thud-thud pounds into your skull, and for all that you try to push the horrid noise from your ears, you can't quite manage it tonight.

Your condition has flared up as of late, making all your energies go towards keeping your dinner from coming up and your eyes fully opened. The last place you ought to be is at some club right now. But you and Hyuk-woo promised to take Hoody out for a round for her birthday, and you'd feel like an awful friend if you let her down.

After being bumped into by some half-drunken person, you shout over the music, "I hate you, Hoody! You and your awful taste in clubs!"

"You don't!" She's all smiles and squeezes your hand. "It's not healthy being cooped up in that pathetic little apartment of yours and you know it!"

Maybe you do know it. The thought has crossed your mind before, especially when you look forward to running into your elderly next-door neighbor for a chat. Your social life had declined after moving out of the dorms and even more so after breaking it off with your latest boyfriend. And if you’re honest with yourself, you’ve been looking forward to tonight.

"When should we expect your friend to show up?" You ask as the crowd thins at the edge of the dance floor.

Hoody scans the packed seating area before pointing to a corner booth. "There! That's him."

Your eyes follow Hoody's finger, and you immediately spot Hyuk-woo sitting with two dark haired young men. The first, you recall from a photo in her apartment, is Hoody's friend—all messy hair and tattoos. The second, however, is someone completely new to you.

Gorgeous, he is.

You can feel your heart falter at first sight of him. It's the hair that catches your attention, silky smooth. And the leather jacket certainly doesn't help matters. A bad boy, then? Your type to the very letter, and dear God how are you going to ever make it through tonight?

Because you and Hoody have rules about this sort of thing, you remember regrettably as they approach the booth. No dating friends' friends and the like. Your only hope is that this guy isn't Hoody's friend and has a penchant for someone like you.

Yeah, not likely.

Sunghwa—whose name you learn during the brief round of introductions—may be a little quiet, but he does seem genuinely interested in you. You discover this soon into your five-part conversation around beers. It's nothing Sunghwa does, just the way his eyes fall on you when he speaks. Mesmerized is definitely too strong of a word—though in your make-believe world there's something there.

Something like a spark, and it's so very difficult to keep your own eyes from meeting Sunghwa's when either of you speaks.

And you resist—or tries to, anyway—for the better part of an hour filled with anecdotes of mischief making, lamenting of particular professors and modules. It's only when Hoody and Elo gets up to dance—prompted by Hoody’s favorite song (this week)—and Hyuk-woo leaves for the bar to buy another round that you can't quite avoid Sunghwa any longer.

You feel a gentle nudge to your arm and turns to look at a grinning Sunghwa. He really does have a nice smile, as smiles go. Gorgeous lips and… And Christ, you haven’t been staring just then, have you? You can't quite suppress the heat rising to your cheeks and ducks yor head a bit, hoping to hide your embarrassment.

"You don't strike me as someone who gets up to too much trouble, but the way Hoody talks, you could give me and Elo a run for our money."

You don’t miss the impressed and teasing tone in his voice and feels slightly pleased with yourself. Not that people aren't usually surprised when they hear of your colorful record, but this is somehow different. The thought does cross you that you're misconstruing Sunghwa' interest in you, but you’re three beers in it doesn’t hurt to flirt a little.

"Probably could," you say, all confidence as you take a slow drink.

"Where'd you get those then? Breaking and entering?"

Sunghwa nods in the direction of your hands, smug smirk on his face. You realize that he's referring to your plastered fingers, and immediately sets your bottle down, bringing your hand beneath the table. Suddenly you feel very sober.

"Ah no, not exactly. I play a bit of guitar and overdid it yesterday. Rubbed my skin raw."

You wait for the moment of judgment to pass, inevitable as always. You know you don't look the type to be a music junkie—a little too awkward, a little too reserved—and wonders if Sunghwa will laugh it off like a lot of guys have in the past.

It comes to some surprise then, when you find the courage to meet Sunghwa' eyes, that Sunghwa appears to be completely shocked by your confession. You look at him curiously before Sunghwa's expression settles into something rather indescribable.

"You like music?" Sunghwa asks, and for the first time, you notice the strain-induced scratchiness to his voice

"No, I love music."

Sunghwa smiles, looking at you like he's seeing you properly for the first time.

"Yeah? Me too."

//

-- Present—

Why?

You realize that you ‘accidentally’ picks up the latest Dazed & Confused. And it's only a split second later that you recognize a gorgeous pair of brown eyes on the cover.

They dance for you. Maybe it's just because you remember what they were like in real life, the way Sunghwa's every mood could be read from them. Maybe it's because you often dreamt that Sunghwa would look at you like that again. It's a guilty desire, one that you can barely stomach most days. But no one could fault you for that.

And it's strange, looking at him like this. You desperately want to recognize the unrecognizable in Sunghwa, to have the satisfaction of telling yourself, you were right, he's not the same man.

But you can't.

It's as though time froze Sunghwa as he was years ago. Sunghwa hardly looks older—not like yourself who’s getting premature greys—and perhaps that's what's most frightening. Sunghwa appears to be exactly the man that you had once loved.

Or still loves.

With that, your lips pull into an infuriated grimace. You send the magazine to the floor with a violent thwack. And you bring your hands to your face, bites your tongue in favor of screaming your frustration.

How dare Sunghwa do this! How dare he accept Hyuk-woo's invitation! But it's just like Sunghwa, always looking for the next person or next big thing to stroke his giant ego. He'll be fawned over, praised for his infinite genius, his remarkable rise to stardom. No one cares to think about all Sunghwa sold—all he left behind—in order to get there.

All the people he betrayed.

A miserable sound escapes you. Some days you wonder if you’re the only person in the world that felt that betrayal—feels that betrayal even now—and you know the answer. Hyuk-woo and Elo asks you to stop punishing Sunghwa. Hoody, too, in her own way. You wonder how they of all people can refrain from doing so.

Familiar outrage bubbles up inside you at the thought of everything that happened years ago, but You try to quell it. You can't think about this tonight; it'll only leave you bright eyed and miserable. More miserable, really.

And you definitely won't think about Sunghwa.

Let him have his fame and glory, his money and cheap relationships.

What's it matter?

You find the energy to get up from the sofa, your foot coming into contact with the magazine. The cover crinkles under your step, and you barely notices—or pretends to—as you walks to the bathroom before heading to bed.

//

Things would have been fine, you suppose, if the magazine would have grown legs and kindly dropped itself into the bin during the night. You’re determined to not attend Hyuk-woo's party, to never see Sunghwa again so long as you live, would have remained firmly intact.

But the fact of the matter is that it most assuredly was right in front of the sofa as you sat down with your morning toast and coffee—Sunghwa' face planted between your feet. You stare down at it, transfixed by nothing in particular and yet everything in the same moment. Your hand reaches for the magazine almost of its own accord, and it's only after you have it in your grip that the reason behind your sudden interest becomes clear to you.

You suppose it has a lot to do with the date. It's almost Sunghwa’s and your anniversary—what would have been ten years if Sunghwa hadn't…if things hadn't…well, yeah.

And you, despite the disappointed looks and worried calls from your friends, still celebrates it to some extent. No more romantic dinners for you, though. If there is one thing that suffering from almost bi-monthly seizures has taught you, it's that you might as well live life how you want. There's never a guarantee you'll live beyond the next one.

The funny thing is that Sunghwa gave the biggest joy in your life – Momo. Like Sunghwa, Momo sets you back on the right path. If you’re honest with yourself, you’ve been at your healthiest during those years with Sunghwa. So despite all that you hate Sunghwa most of the time, a little piece of you can never deny that Sunghwa was good for you. And now, Momo has taken his place.

That's probably why you still have dreams from time to time, like last night. Of hot, flashing lights and the lazy lovemaking that followed. You wonder if it's a memory or a meshing of reality and fantasy. It was all so vivid. Sunghwa' breath in your ear, his performance-strained voice whispering I love you. And you returning the sentiments in full, rolling over to capture his lips.

Except, the only thing you rolled over to was the emptiness of your bed and unforgiving morning light.

With your thoughts already consumed by Sunghwa, you thumb the pages of the magazine. Sighing, you flip it open randomly and only had to turn once before you find the promised—purportedly revealing—interview.

You sip your coffee, uneager—and yet oh-so-eager—to read the contents of the interview. Brown eyes find the beginning lines, and you brace yourself for…for what? You have no idea. Confirmation, maybe, that this man is not the man you loved. Or heartache when you realize that he is.

It's the normal song and dance for the first few questions, nothing that you couldn't have told the interviewer yourself. What's more interesting to you is the way in which you can hear Sunghwa saying his response—the familiar cadence of his voice, the air of lightness in his tone. The interview even notes when he laughs, and it occurs in all the spots that you imagine it would.

But it's two-thirds of the way down the page that you feel you breath hitch, the question burrowing into you like a parasite and the answer equally as discomfort-inducing.

INTERVIEWER: It's interesting—and many of our readers have noted this—that you've re-released an unplugged version of "My Last" on your new album. Care to elaborate on the decision?

GRAY: Ah, this question! [Laughs]

INTERVIEWER: It's a song shrouded in mystery. Considered to be the most romantic song of the decade and developed by an anonymous co-writer? What are your fans to think?

GRAY: Well they should think that it's a song very near and dear to me, of course. The decision to re-release it in acoustic was made by me. "My Last" was intended for to be an acoustic from the very beginning, and was initially written as a ballad. I've spent a lot of time getting back to my roots with this album, and it was the perfect opportunity to record this song as it was originally intended. I think people will find it more moving than the original, to be honest.

INTERVIEWER: And your co-writer?

GRAY: [Laughs] Will remain anonymous.

INTERVIEWER: Not even the tiniest hint?

GRAY: I think it's obvious from the lyrics that this person means a great deal to me. You can't create something like "My Last" from imagination, you know?

INTERVIEWER: "Means" as in present tense?

GRAY: Do you think that "My Last" could be what it is if it was about any old flame? You—

You shut the magazine quickly, having read quite enough.

//

"You're such an ungrateful daughter."

You smirk, leaning down to meet your mom in a brief hug. You suppose that it's a greeting that would shock most anybody.

"And to what do I owe the insult to my character?" You ask, though you don’t really expect an answer.

Your mom passes Momo to you, and you quickly plant a kiss on her baby-smooth cheek. Momo laughs, pushes you away with a palm to her chin, and struggles out of your arms in favor of her toys in the other room. And it's crazy, how quickly Momo has grown. Where has the time gone?

There's a thud. Your attention is immediately drawn away from thoughts of your daughter to her grandma sopping up spilled coffee from the carpet. You roll your eyes, grabs a tea towel from the nearby kitchen table and joins her on the floor.

"Mom, you're an accident waiting to happen, you know that?" You say.

She looks up at you, fringe falling in her eyes. "You're one to talk. Your whole life is a giant mess."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Her eyes narrow as she jabs her finger at you  accusingly, causing you to flinch. "You know exactly what I'm talking about."

Standing, your mom flings the coffee-soaked, wadded-up cloth at you and crosses her arms over her chest. And for being all of five feet four inches, she's still as intimidating as hell.

"Mom…"

"Don't mom me. I hear you're not going to the party in Sunghwa's honor tonight at the Freebird. What the hell is that about? I've raised you to be a lot of things, but never a coward."

"Mom, I’m busy. And who told you about the party?"

"Don’t change the topic!" She falls unceremoniously to the sofa, and you have to wonder if she hadn't just lost her balance. Her sudden rage flickers out into a frown, and she looks on at you in disappointment. You hate that look—thinks that maybe that's the reason she's turned it on to begin with—and moves next to her, putting an arm around her slight shoulders.

"I want you to be happy."

"I am happy, mom," you answer.

"You're lying. I can tell. You’re my daughter." She pokes your nose. "Your nose scrunches up a bit when you lie, just like Momo."

"I'm—"

"Not fine, not happy, and you don't have to pretend for my sake.”

Despite the number of times you’ve had this conversation, you have never gotten used to hearing the truth fall from your mom’s lips. The two of you sit on the sofa, brief silence between you and her, as the sounds of Momo playing in her room echo through the apartment.

"He loves you, you know."

"Who?" You asks almost fearing her answer.

"Sunghwa." Shifting, she pulls away from you and cups your cheek. "And you love him, too. So, don't be stubborn. Go see him."

"I'm over it."

"You weren't years ago. You aren't now, and neither is he. You should have seen his latest interview in Dazed & Confused. It was basically a love letter to you."

Wonderful. So, you weren’t the only person under that impression. You think to ask her what else was said but decides against it. You’re not sure you want to know, quite frankly. What you read was enough. Too much, maybe. And none of it matters.

It’s no surprise that your mom still keep in touch with Sunghwa. What’s surprising is that your mom accepts that you will tell Sunghwa about Momo in your own time.

"You're going," Your mom announces, uncurling herself from you and standing.

"I'm not."

"You are because your daughter loves Sunghwa's music—"

"—only because of your bad influence—"

"—and you'd make her day if you took her. You do want to be known as the coolest mom ever, don't you?"

"I—"

"You do. Come on!" Your mom turns to the corridor. "Momo, love!"

At the sound of Momo's feet, you know that this is game over for you. Your mom makes her announcement—self-satisfied smirk on her lips—and Momo's face lights up brighter than Christmas morning. She shifts from foot to foot, small hands curled up in fists from excitement. Momo wraps her arms tightly around your neck, and you reluctantly squeeze her back, thinking how completely fucked you are.

//

It takes a lot longer to get to The Freebird than is strictly necessary, and for once it's not because you have a toddler in tow. You’re the one making things more difficult than they have to be, pausing every few minutes on the sidewalk and slowing down considerably after Momo begins serenading you with "Drive" from—what you’re told is—Sunghwa' second digital album.

You both do arrive somehow, though it's almost a miracle that you do without having to turn around or stop for a trip to the restroom more than once. Judging from the sound of the music, the party is well underway. And as you glance at your watch, it's no wonder; it's 9:35. You pauses at the door, holding Momo’s hand firmly to keep her from rushing inside.

It's a mistake, and you know that. Nothing good is going to come from this get together; well, nothing but making your daughter ridiculously happy. And that's almost enough to make you press on. Almost. You think that perhaps you could just explain to Momo that you’re not feeling well and maybe she can try to catch Sunghwa another time.

Yes, lying to your child.

"Great parenting," you mutter under your breath.

"Mommy!" Momo growls, looking at you with a very stern expression that so is reminiscent of heer father.

"Alright, alright. Impatient, aren't you?"

Before you can think better of it, you twist the handle and ushers Momo inside. The Freebird is packed with people, and at a quick glance, you recognize most of them. The lighting is dim, but not as low as it would normally be if the bar were open. And the music is lower, too.

No sooner than you help Momo down the two steps to the main floor, you catch sight of vibrant red hair. And then there's Hoody, kneeling to pull Momo into a tight hug. You can't help but smile at the joy on Momo's face; part of you wishes Momo got to see Hoody and Hyuk-woo more often. But it's too difficult—too painful—to visit them more than a few times a year.

They live in a different world from you now.

"How are you, pumpkin?" Hoody asks Momo.

"Very good!" She nods vigorously. "I going to see Gray."

"Are you? That'll be fun."

Hoody looks up at you, question writ on her face—are you alright? And you just shrugs.

Hoody knew about your pregnancy. She urges you to talk to Sunghwa still – however, she came to term that it is up to you to make that decision.

You feel a little better when Hoody stands to embrace you, her arms wrap tightly around your shoulders. You shut your eyes, breathes in her scent. Three months since you’ve last seen her, and it feels like forever.

"I've missed you," Hoody says.

Just as you open your eyes, the same sentiments on your lips, you freezes—mind and heart. Because, between the part of friends and acquaintances is Sunghwa.

“Trauma with alcohol?” Simon offering me drinks when he notices me dazed in the corner of the club at our after party concert. Wegun playing Mommae and everybody enjoy it. I thought no one will pay attention to me.

“Ah, no hyung. I just don’t feel like drinking tonight.” I sent him smile that maybe weak enough and makes him worried about me.

“Sunghwa, you know you can tell me anything if you want. I’ll listen to your rants and bring it to my grave.” He patted my shoulder to encourage me.

“It’s nothing hyung.” It’s not that I don’t believe Simon to tell him about my feeling. But I feel ashamed with my attitude lately.

“If it’s about Areum, you know that she doesn’t deserve any second of your time even to show on your thought. But if it’s about (Y/N), you still have time dude. You know what you have to do. Go get her now.” Simon’s words are true. I shouldn’t waste my times here only thinking without do anything.

“Hyung, I have to go.” He smiles and nodded his head agree with my decision.

The drive to her home feels like forever. I can’t wait to knock on her door to see her again, or maybe hugs her if I am lucky enough. Arrive at her parking lot that always holds my steps everytime I come to her house, now I am running to elevator and pressing the button to her floor.

‘Ding’ the elevator doors open and I arrived at her floor. I never realize that her apartment hall could make me longing like this. I take step by step until I stand in front of her door. All the sweet memories with her flashing back on my mind. How she usually opens her doors and jump with happiness to see me with beautiful flowers for her. How she showering me with kisses and telling me how miss her everytime I’m not around. She’s everything to me all this time, but why I couldn’t even realize it? Tears rolling down on my cheeks thinking about that.

“Oppa?” She was there, standing next to me with her cute pajama holding plastic bag from groceries.

“Oh hi?” I greet her awkwardly.

“I’m just about making late night snack. Wanna join?” She holds her plastic bag higher to show me what she just bought. Since I don’t give her much reaction, she just opens her door and I follow her from behind. How can she act normal like nothing happen between us? Is she already forgiving me? Or she already forgets me? The door closed and I can’t act like nothing happen again. All feeling inside me explode when it just two of us. It’s neither her beauty nor body that I need. The comfort that she gives can’t be replaced by anyone. Even her clone, can’t give me a little bit of her warmth.  I back hugged her and bury my head on her shoulder. I don’t care if she’ll slap me or hating me after this. I just need her back in my life.  

“I’m sorry.” That’s the most perfect word that could describe what I really feel now. She turns her back and facing me. She holds my face with her tiny palms and it feels like I back home.

“Jukyung told me.” I nodded my head and hold her palm that still holding me. “I’m so…” She put her lips on me before I finish my words. I pull her closer and deepen the kiss. I miss her. I really miss her presence.

“Sstt… Just think that this is as another test for our relationship to take the next level okay?” I was such a fool for leaving her before so I hug her tight and I don’t think I’ll let her go again forever.