#grace.

Here’s how I feel about the NPMD cast, having only seen up to the intermission:

Richie: I hate him because he’s a freak. I need to blow him up with my mind. Definitely either Achillean or aroace, but I just know that nerd has crunchy anime socks and body pillows. I guarantee he smells of B.O. and pennies. His last word before getting toilet drowned was “Nya.” I cannot fix him, get him out of my sight.

Ruth: I love her because she’s a freak. I need to blow her up with my mind. I feel very strongly about my headcanon that she’s a transmasc egg that would have cracked in college, had she lived. I feel like she probably writes yaoi about people she actually knows. Richie asked her for her notes for science class one day, and she accidentally gave him her yaoi notebook. He hasn’t looked at her the same since. I cannot fix her, but honestly whatever’s wrong with her is way funnier.

Peter: I need to ruin him. He’s pathetic and I love him. I keep telling my best friend he’s a he/him lesbian and Steph is his lesbian girlfriend. I do not accept constructive criticism, they’re lesbians in my heart.

Steph: I need her to ruin me. She’s honestly the most relatable of this group, purely because she’s kind of the only one that acknowledges how incredibly messed up it is that Ruth wants to strip Max and steal his nipples. I love her :)

Grace: I hate her. I mean this so seriously, a vibrator would fix her. She’s so painfully Mormon, if someone just got her a bullet vibe and a dirty soda, none of this would have happened. Huge fan of her butt stuff dialogue though, her mom’s face during that scene made me cry laughing. Maybe Steph should teach her to cut back, but she may be too religiously ruined already.

Max: I feel bad for him honestly. I think he was genuinely redeemable and I wish we could have seen a nice Max arc after the prank happened, but I do love him for being an evil little freak. He was freaky in life and is freakier in death. I want to unleash him on the world and see what crimes he would commit cause I think it would be funny.