Doctor: How would you rate your pain?
Crowley: It's a thumbs down.
Doctor:
Crowley: Would not recommend.
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Doctor: How would you rate your pain?
Crowley: It's a thumbs down.
Doctor:
Crowley: Would not recommend.

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(Help him.)
Original post here.
Aziraphale: Crowley has no survival skills, his need to win has replaced them.
Anathema: That can't be true!
Aziraphale: Watch this...
Aziraphale: Crowley, race you to the bottom of the stairs!
Crowley: *Throws himself out of the window*
Warlock: One time I heard Nanny and Brother Francis arguing in the Garden so I opened the window to see what was going on and I just heard Brother Francis saying over and over:
'YOU CAN'T BUY PLUTO!'
And Nanny ranting:
'WHO'S GONNA FUCKING STOP ME?'
Crowley: if I had a nickel for every time I didn't know what was going on... I'd be like why do I keep getting all these fucking nickels?

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Brother Francis: Why don't you tell him about the birds and bees
Nanny Ashtoreth * to Warlock * : They're disappearing at an alarming rate.
Nanny Ashtoreth: My cold dead heart feels no affection for anyone.
Warlock: *sneezes*
Nanny Ashtoreth: ARE YOU SICK??? OMG WHERE'S YOUR COAT?!?!
*in the distance*
SOMEONE CALL A DOCTOR!!!
Aziraphale: Awww I remember playing doctor as a child.
Crowley: ...
Crowley: Me too
FLASHBACK
Child!Crowley: *holding a stethoscope to a teddy bear's chest*
Child!Crowley: The cancer has spread.
Child!Crowley: Set your affairs in order.