The abot raid came at . perhaps the worst time it could have? I was already having a major depressive episode; bad enough that I pulled away from my friends, bad enough that i went on hiatus, bad enough i didn’t eat much of anything for 2-3 days, like. worst episode of the year bad. Rest assured, the root cause had nothing to do with them, and everything to do with the fact that I was very soon to move back into my abuser’s home for an undetermined amount of time. and none of my usual coping methods were working.

I’m in that home as of yesterday. Like, timeline wise it was gonna happen this soon. I was actually supposed to go back July 25th but the furniture folks wanted to retrieve their stuff early, and I didn’t fancy camping out on the floor surrounded by laundry for 3 days.

.

So when I saw what happened, it was more or less just a rotten cherry on top of a bigger, fuller, already long existing shit cake. ‘This may as well happen now’ kind of deal. And it kind of .. gave me perspective in a roundabout way.

That maybe it was time to reach for help for those other things. Maybe it was time to admit, to own up that I’ve always had a real hard time, even if that’s old news to folks who’ve been with me for a while. That I can stop putting holds on trying to quantify when something I experienced counted as ‘bad enough’ to warrant asking for help. 

So honestly? these fiascoes got me to :

- come off hiatus, start speaking with friends and people again because

- actually ask for direct help on tumblr again for the first time in years - get me hype for directly engaging my followers again, which in turn had me see... just how many good, loving, giving folks there are out there. kind messages came in bucket loads.

like, that’s so many lovely people ... that i was lucky enough to be blessed by. i want the emphasis here to be on look how many sweet folks there are, kind people exist on here. - make more excited to establish the kind of back and forth i used to have with followers a while back, before these shenaniganizers 

so .. not total loss

And I wanna just give a big

Thank You

DELTARUNE RELEASE DATE ANNOUNCED

A SHIP FROM A MANGA I READ WAS CONFIRMED CANON

ROUXLS PLUSH IS REAL

MY MOM ORDERED SAID ROUXLS PLUSH

NOT ONLY AM I GOING TO A CONCERT OF MY FAVORITE ARTIST, I GET TO GO TO A MEET AND GREET WITH THEM

I JUST LEARNED ITS CONFIRMED THEYRE GONNA PLAY MY FAVORITE SONG

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a) Not measure up of self-discipline;<\p>

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